TESTING THE OLD MAN’S LOVE.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXX, Issue 4577, 20 November 1875, Page 1 (Supplement)

TESTING THE OLD MAN’S LOVE.

Mrs. Clark had been reading the BeecherTilton scandal until her faith iu men had dwindled down to a very fine point ; she had a poor opinion of them. She had noticed that her hitherto-loving spouse had, for the past two weeks, been lowspirited and down-hearted. She thought that perhaps he, too, had been led from the paths of virtue by the deluding voice of some bewitching siren, and that his love for her was growing cold. But how to find out if such was the case. Josephus did not show any signs of producing any statement, or of confessing his guilt to a mutual friend. Her brow corrugated, and her hands clenched as she brooded over imaginary wrongs, and she determined to put the fidelity of her husband to the test.

But how to do it, that was the question. “ Aha ! I have it,” said she triumphantly. “ I’ll drown myself ; that is, figuratively.”

Clark was a farmer in good circumstances, and being several years younger than his wife, and good-looking, it kept her in a perpetual state of -worriment and jealousy. Mrs. Clark proceeded to put her plan into execution.

Just behind the house was a very deep well, that had not been used for some time, and it was covered over with boards to prevent the cattle from falling into it. She removed the covering from the well, and placing her bonnet and shawl upon its brink, she crawled in under a large gooseberry bush to await development. The weather was cold, and she was nearly frozen before she saw her husband and a hired man coming from the barn where they had been working. Clark passed by the well without noticing the clothing; but the hired man saw them and gave a cry of horror. « Mercy on us, Mr. Clark ! your wife has thrown herself into the well I” he shouted frantically. Mrs. Clark expected that her husband would tear his hair and rush to the edge of the well, and after calling her all the endearing names he could think of, descend into its watery depth, in eager search of her cold damp corpse. But Clark did not do anything of the kind. He calmly took a fresh chew of tobacco, and then, approaching the well, looked quietly into it.

: “ I guess the old girl has suicided,” said he, without any emotion worth speaking of. “ Jake, you sling them boards back again ; I wouldn’t have that brindle heifer get in there for fifty dollars ; and after dinner we’ll hoist the old woman out.”

“ Hadn’t I better get some of the neighbors here first ?" asked the frightened man. “After dinner will do, Jake. ‘Business before pleasure’ is the motto, and I’m awful hungry.” Jake covered up the well and the men went into the house, leaving the old lady howling with rage. . .. “I’ll old girl him ! I’ll suicided him ! Takes mere pains over that pesky heifer than he does with me. I’ll, I'll ” Words failed her ; they were inadequate to express her feelings. After dinner Clark sent the hired man after some of his neighbors, and while he was awaiting his return, he seated himself upon a log in plain sight of his lovingwife, and whistled the Old Hundred right through without missing a stave. The neighbors arrived, and wore full of sympathy for the bereaved husband ; and Josephus boro his honors meekly. Various plans were canvassed for raising the body, but, owing to tho great death of the well, they could not decide upon the right one. “ I’ll tell you the best way, friends,” said Clark, pathetically. “ She is gone, and will never come back to this world of woe and trouble ; so I think we had better let tho body remain where it is, and fill up the well. It will save a power of trouble and bother.” This proposition was agreed to by the neighbors os being feasible, and the work of filling it up commenced, Josephus throwing in all the large atones and blocks of wood that he could lay his hands on. “There,” said he, “I guess that will do,” after they had thrown a couple of cartloads of miscellaneous rubbish into the well. “ Jake can fill up the rest, odd spells and rainy days. We’ll have the funeral sermon preached as soon as I get done hauling wood." Near by the side of Josephus stood a woman of about thirty summers, or winters, and she had been regarding the solemn scene with a mixture of pleasure and sorrow intermingled ; and when the rest of the neighbors took their departure, she lingered behind to comfort the aching heart of the bereaved widower.

“ It is a great pity to be so suddenly cut down in the prime of life, like the flower at noontide,” she said, mournfully. “Yes,” said he, shifting his quid from one side of his mouth to the other ; “ but Betty was getting along in years, and we must be resigned.” “Just so, Hr. Clark; resignation is a cooling balm, as it were, to fill the void in the troubled breast; and I always thought that your wife was too old for such a smart, active man as you.” “Did you, really?” answered Clark, with sudden interest. “To be sure I did. I always took a great interest in your welfare.” , Clark was lost in meditation for some time. “Miss Perkins,” said he suddenly, “Can you make good butter ?” “ Now, Mr. Clark,” she answered, blushing, “ you touch me on a tender point, for, if I say it myself, I won t turn my back to any woman in the county making good butter." “ Good cook ?” : “ Pirst-rate.” , “ Understand hotisekeeping!" “ None better.” “ Then I’ll tell you what I have been thinking about,”, said he, picking, up another largo

stone and throwing' it into the well. “ Suppose you and I get married ?" “ Now really, Mr. Clark, you are so sudden, and take me hy surprise; but my heart bleeds for you in your bereavement, and—and I consent. Take me—l am yours.” The fond couple embraced, talcing a kiss to ratify the bargain. Mrs. Clark, under the gooseberry bush, was boiling with rage, but she restrained herself for a few moments. “ I say,” said Clark, after they had regained their composure, “ won’t Betty’s clothes fit you ?” “Of course they will, and it will be a great saving.” “ And I will take that new cloak of hers and make me an overcoat—a long one, like the city folks do wear,” said Clark. “ Oh ! you dear creature !” replied she. “ Sweet angel of my soul 1" replied he. Just then something lit upon Clark’s back, and he did not know at first whether it was a wild cat, a streak of lightning, or the devil; but he found out directly. His charmer cast one glance at the apparition, and scooted. Clark has just got round again. He says it was the worst case of inflammatory sickness he ever had. But he is the meekest husband to be found, and the well is filled up.