THE LOAFER.
(From the Queenslander.) Closely allied to the swagsmau is the loafer. There is this difference, however, between the two types. The former haunts the bush while the latter is a frequenter of towns. I divide the_ loafer into two great classes : the loafer gentleman and the loafer vulgar. The first designated loafer is generally a man parts. He has a good address ; is quiet at understanding the position of affairs; he never goes beyond the suaviter in modo in enforcing his claims on the public. Often admitted into the best society, by the exercise of his matchless impudence, he makes use of this happy state of things by insinuating himself into the good graces of those with whom be is brought in contact. He changes his name and his title oftener than he he does his shirt. At one time he is a captain lately retired from the service ; he generally omits to say what service. Like Captain Alfred Jingle, of immortal memory, he then has wonderful stories to tell of battle and murder, and of narrow escapes “i’ th” imminent deadly breach.” He is always the hero of his own stories, and they always cover him with glorv. In this manner he fascinates guileless ladies. Should he find himself thrown into the society of pompous city magnates, none of them can compete with him in his knowledge of the price of stock, the latest news on ’Change, the rise or fall in linen yarn, or the probable price of the new season tea. City men are enchanted, he is invited to visit them in his character of accredited agent to some imaginary, or even real, large firm at the antipodes, and he generally finds means to make these visits a source of pecuniary profit to himself. But it is as a gentleman travelling for pleasure, or with a view of improving his mind, or with the avowed intention of writing a book on his return, that the Australian gentlemanly loafer is most successful. He arrives by some mail steamer, from a neighboring port, proceeds to the principal hotel, and announces himself as the Count von Matterhorn, or as the great Mr. So-and-so, only great here, because nobody ever heard of him. He leaves his card at Government house, patronises the chief merchants of the city, and very shortly fleeces the community at large. I remember two cases of this kind of loafing. A certain Captain S , a fine aristocraticlooking man, who arrived one day from England. By means of his fine appearance, and his gentlemanly and graceful manners, he succeeded in ingratiating himself with the principal citizens. He visited Government house, and having got comfortably into debt right and left, he absconded one evening with the proceeds of a grand bazaar, to which he had kindly consented to act as treasurer. The latest representative of the first-class loafer was the notorious Count von A. He was a superior sort of loafer. He loafed about Government House. He bought a yacht from one of the principal merchants, and what is most wonderful, paid for it. But the yacht was his ruin. Even the greatest men have their moments of weakness. He was not satisfied with his highly successful career in the Australias, but wished to try his hand on the Mynheers of Java. These phlegmatic Hollanders, however, proved too smart for our loafer, and he found himself one day comfortably installed as a guest of his Majesty the King of the Netherlands, not in the vice-regal palace, but in the Sourabay gaol. Even here his genius nearly enabled him to escape. Passing himself off as an officer in the Dutch Colonial Service, he nearly effected his escape, but his hopes were prematurely nipped in the bud, and he was reconducted to the hospitable mansion he had so ungratefully abandoned.
Our loafer gentleman generally ends by degenerating into the loafer vulgar. The loafer vulgar may he again subdivided into the loafer cringing, the loafer bullying, and the loafer •whining and sanctimonious. The climax of loafing is however reached by the lazy loafer. The cringing loafer, the bully, and the hypocrite, are types who are represented all over the world. They are not of Australian production. But I question if the lazy loafer can be equalled in any other country. Watch him as he lounges with slouching gait up to the verandah post of a public-house, look at his vacant idiotic, or hang-dog countenance. He listens vaguely to the conversation, rowdy or peaceful, that goes on at the bar. Occasionally seeing that some one is spending money freely by the process known as “ shouting,” ho edges in, and gets included among the number who are being “ shouted” for. He shuns work as much as the swagsman. His whole idea of happiness is to have plenty to eat and drink, without the trouble of working for it. He will sit on the top-rail of a fence, chewing a splinter he has abstracted from it. After an hour or two of this intellectual employment, he will perhaps take a stroll .down the road, with his hands rammed into his gaping pockets, and a fresh splinter in his . mouth. lie will enter into a meaningless conversation with any strJingitj, and end by asking him if he
isn't going to “ shout.” I have hnovra one of these excresences on society spend his time in catching lizards and tying a piece of cotton to their tails, set them running along a twig, till they fell, and hanging by their tails, afforded great gratification to the loafer in question by their struggles to regain the twig. This loafer was a young man, hale and strong, twenty-five years of age, but hopelessly lazy. I have known a persen to pay him to go away, and he always came back. To earn a living was too great a hardship, and as loafing was successful, why, he would stick to it. The last I saw of this loafer was as he was sitting outside a publichouse champing a straw, and looking out for someone who would pay a drink for him. What eventually becomes of the many loafers who are to be met with in every colonial town, it is hard to say. I never saw a dead loafer, so I supposed like the jackasses and postboys of old they don't die—they just go away some fine morning, and nobody ever sees or hears of them again. , A great deal of the loafing in Queensland is done by young fellows, who are, or who ought to be, gentlemen. They have been sent out to the: colony because there were no openings for them at home, and a colonial career was their last resource. They come out, impressed with an idea of their own importance. They imagine that Australia is a large station country, or a large guldfield. In the one case, they conclude that as soon as they step ashore there will be a rush of squatters to secure their valuable services, or that, on the other hand, they need only proceed to the diggings and pick up nuggets by the handful. When these ideas have been rudely dispelled, then comes the question, what is to be done? Some take to honest work, which alone is the way to shake the pagoda-tree ; some take to drink ; some go home again disgusted, and the remainder become confirmed loafers. '
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New Zealand Times, Volume XXX, Issue 4574, 17 November 1875, Page 3
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1,238THE LOAFER. New Zealand Times, Volume XXX, Issue 4574, 17 November 1875, Page 3
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