DOREDOM.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXX, Issue 4559, 30 October 1875, Page 2 (Supplement)

DOREDOM.

(From the Libeml Review.) The art of making oneself agreeable is, unfortunately, but partially understood _by a great many people. The consequence is that not a few persons, who are actuated by the best intentions, succeed hi making themselves dreadful bores. It is, perhaps, more their misfortune than their fault that they fail to perceive, in nine cases, out of ten, that they are doing so ; but it is on this account none the less melancholy that their efforts crea e disgust in the minds of many people, and that there is, therefore, called into existence a. pretty general disposition to shun their society. Moreover, there are certain faces which render it difficult to excuse the bore and to sit easily under the inflictions which he puts upon one. It cannot be forgotten that he is, in the very nature of things, more or less egotistical, that he is selfish, and that he is incapable of appreciating the acts and speech of his fellowcreatures. His egotism induces him to make strenuous attempts to monopolise any conversation in which he may be engaged ; his selfishness causes him to decline to admit topics of conversation in which he is not personally interested ; and his lack of appreciative powers leads him to condemn many persons and things which are deserving of the highest praise. So it will be seen that he is something more than a poverty-stricken minded fellow, who flounders about to the enjoyment of himself and the misery of others. The question arises how is one to deal with the bores whom one meets during one’s journey through life? It is not easy to snub them. Besides, many tender-hearted people have an objection to snub any one; and bores are often one’s most intimate associates, if not one's best friends. Yet something ought to be done to protect many people from the positive martyrdom to which they are now exposed. It is not right that Brown should constantly fall a victim to Smith. Smith, be it understood, is a gentleman who has always got a dreary story to tell, of which he or some one in some way connected with him is the hero. This is not all. He will persist in telling his story his own way, and a very long way his is. There is no use in interrupting Mm with the view of diverting him from his purpose, and unhappy Brown knows this very well Experience has taught Mm that Smith is not to be shaken off, and so he makes the best of a bad job; he smiles as Smith plods heavily along, he eulogises “points” which to him are simply contemptuously dull to the last degree, because he fancies Smith would be offended if be did not do so, and he never thinks of hinting that Smith’s stories, when they are worth telling at all—which is not often the case—might be better told in half, nay a quarter of the words which Smith employs to tell them, for he knows that Smith has invariably rehearsed his tale and flatters himself that it is a very good one and neatly got up. Nor does he condemn the palpable exaggerations into wHch Smith is led, in order that he (Smith) may create as much sensation as possible, though the exaggerations are often absurd and always uncalled-for. Yet Smith is extraordinarily careful that Brown shall not bore Mm, wMch shows that he lacks the feelings of gratitude as he does other good things. Brown may have remarkable servants, cats, dogs, horses, &c., and may-have performed what are in Ms opinion remarkable feats ; but Smith does not care about hearing of them, and will show this in a very unmistakable —not to say rude—manner. Poor Brown may now and then attempt to talk on a matter in wMch he is Mmself interested, but he soon discovers the futility, of doing so, and abandons the attempt in despair. Then, until he finally resolves to give up Smith, he is made the receptacle into which Smith, mercilessly pours his dreary prosings. How, if Smith could have Ms mantle of egotism torn from Mm it would be well both for him and Brown, for he would then acquire an amount of knowledge which he now seems unlikely ever to obtain, and Brown would be saved a great deal of suffering, besides wMch be might be enabled to retain a friend whom he is otherwise compelled to throw away. It is, perhaps, but just retribution that the man who will always talk, and only upon what immediately interests or concerns himself, fails to acquire a good deal of knowledge which is obtained by those who are content to —y ‘ and t is is strongly —demonstrated in the case or Smith: It is due to this individual, however, to say that there are bores who are more rampageous. and Offensive than he is. There is Bouncer, for. instance, who is not content merely to indulge in dreary maunderings so long as he can get a listener, but who is always on the watch to tackle yon and thrust his nostrums down your throat. Whatever he himself does, you and the rest of the -world ought to do, he tMnks ; and he is not backward in letting you know this. Indeed, he does not hesitate to hint that those who decline to carefully tread in his footsteps, and object to hearken unto Ms long exordiums, are fools, if they are not something worse. Perhaps the worse part about Bouncer is that he is so uncertain that because he happens to have a particular hobby one day it will not follow that he will have the same to-morrow. How, he will protest that early rising is the panacea for all ills and should be the virtue of the age ; anon, he. will take a .craze on the subject of fresh air; then he will discover that in gymnastics lie the secret of human happiness and wellbeing ; and after this it will dawn upon him that total abstinence from intoxicating drinks is all that is necessary to perfect the condition of mankind. TMs is all very well in the abstract, but it is hard in the extreme that when he takes upon Mmself to ride a hobby other people should not be allowed a moment’s peace, and should be insulted if they decline to follow his counsel. Of the crowd of noodles who can only talk of rowing, cricket, or such sports as they may countenance, we at present say nothing, though goodness knows that they are objectionable enough, for one cannot expect wine to flow from an empty cask. But of the class of wMch Maudlin is a type it is impossible to speak in terms of too strong condemnation. Maudlin will quote—we beg pardon, misquote ! —poetry by the yard, he will pass other men’s jokes and fine language off as Ms own, and, wonder of wonders, he will persuade himself that you do not find out that he is a rank impostor. It is Ms pleasure to imagine that he is a man of fine sentiment; and, in order to keep up the character which he apes, he indulges in absurdly rhapsodical, language, makes long windy speeches about any tMng or nothing, and is continually remarking what this, that, and the other author says. Many are led to wonder at- his conceit, his affectation, his shallowness, and the' persistent impudent attempts which he makes to withdraw public notice from worthy objects to himself, but few are found courageous enough to attempt to set him down as he deserves. His loquacity terrifies them. . ,