THE INTELLIGENT VAGRANT.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXX, Issue 4530, 27 September 1875, Page 5

THE INTELLIGENT VAGRANT.

(Prom the New Zealand Mail.)

Quis scit an adjiciant hodiernse crastina summae Tempora Di Superi.—Horace.

They are gradually getting every tiling in connection with the Government Buildings into a state of order and system—an agreeable contrast with a past condition of affairs. There are now all sorts of handy things stuck everywhere to promote convenience, from electric bells that.won't work to fire ho3e that burst. And quite a staff of carpenters and mechanics is under engagement, ready for any emergency. Only last week the utility of this doing of things on a system was shown. In one of the offices the gas went out. The word was passed, as they say on shipboaid, for the Hon. the Colonial Architect, or his nearest representative. In the twinkling of a bedpost carpenters and others rushed to the office pulled down the shelves, tore up the floor, and practically demonstrated that they would get the gas right, or find out why it was not right. Whilst they were hard at work two members of the House of appeared. They enquired as to the cause of the exertions going on, and were informed. One of them said to the other, " I wonder did they give the gas what "we have been just having at Bellamy's—a drink ?" A mechanic, struck by this information, poured a little water into some part of the gas apparatus, and the office was again lighted without trouble. The shelves and floor had to be put right afterwards, but that only demonstrated the usefulness of having " a system." The Weekly News, a* weekly edition of the Southern Cross, has lately handed over a portion of its space to the Good Templars, to be used by them as they may choose. The editor of the Weekly News is far too clever a fellow to permit himself to be compromised by the teetotaltites, and accordingly heads his abstinence columns as follows :—" The editor of the Weekly News is in no way identified with the opinions expressed in the Good Templar columns." So far, this is quite nice, but immediately, after it comes the motto of the Good Templar columns, thus—Magna Veritas, et NtBYALEBiT." That is to say, the editor of the Weekly News does not identify himself with the opinion that " truth is great and will prevail." He need not have taken the trouble of telling us this. We all knew it before. His paper is a standing protest against such an old-fashioned notion.

If it be true, as some Bay it is, that for each crime committed on earth punishment is meted out on earth, and that there is no future state of rewards and punishments, then I claim to start with a clean sheet from eleven o'clock last Monday evening. For I spent the three previous hours at an amateur performance, and

I am sure that in those hours I amply atoned for the bad deeds of a lifetime. In gratitude for having afforded me an opportunity for so satisfactory a penance, I offer the amateurs a hint from the writings of the late Sir Robert Peel. A pocket-book of his was picked up one morning after a debate in which he had taken part, and in it was found the following entry : —"Mem.—To ask somebody what to do with my hands whilst I am speaking." There is a gentleman whom I know casually,

and who follows the profession of paper staining. A few days since he honored a friend of mine by calling at' his office and conversing with him for some time in a close and affable manner. My friend was so pleased with the

gentleman's conversational powers that he expressed sorrow for their not having been more

T intimate previously, and hoped that they would become better acquainted in the future, s The gentleman, who had had his head close to -I my friend's for some time, was equally rel gretful, but said that for some time at least they r must be strangers, as he had just been to a t doctor, who had told him that he had a bad 3 attack of diphtheria, and must go straight home j to bed and remain there a week or two. Then he took his leave, and my friend, who is of 1 a nervous temperament, was in five minutes in J consultation with a doctor, in order to get some I knowledge of the premonitory symptoms of r diphtheria. *' I do not desire to draw conclusions from ' statements which, as will be seen, are not my a own, yet Ido riot doubt that conclusions will 1 be drawn. A clergyman, on Tuesday night, ' told us that danger to a Christian life was f found in frequenting such places Of amuse--1 ment as the Theatre and the Odd Fellows' Hall. T\\"o drapers had informed us on the 3 same day that they wanted all their assistants s in their shops on Saturdays after two o'clock, on account of the many purchases then made [ for the Sunday. As I have said, I do not i desire to draw conclusions, and I therefore merely enquire for information where the J finery purchased on the Saturday is vised on the Sunday. Is it at church ? It cannot be. People go to theatres and other debasing places to exhibit their fine clothes, not for the sake of amusement. People go to church to worship, not to show off their drapery purchases. Thinking much over the matter has left me in a state of puzzle. Vulgarly speaking, " itdid not wash" after all, gentlemen, did it ? The afternoon day on which Messrs. Toomath and Travers were .nominated for the Education Board, Mr. Bludyer, an eminent writer and callow politician, Mr. Coney, one of the most disinterested of our disinterested politicians, and Mr. O'Slangagin, a fervid patriot, were explaining to each other how beautifully everything had been' arranged to wash out in favor of Mr. Travers. And yet it did not ; mainly, I fear, owing to these three being supporters of that gentleman. I consider Mr. Toomath a nonentity as a public man, but under the circumstances, his election was preferable to that of his opponent. Since the election I have only seen Mr. Bludyer of the three above-named, and, as an acquaintance observed, he looked " down in the mug." I have received a letter from a most unusual correspondent, and will let it speak for itself. It says: " Sir, I assure you that my appearance in public at thirty-two minutes past six o'clock on Tuesday evening was owing to circumstances over which I can say in all honesty I had no control. We have all to act in accordance with laws superior to our own desires, and I was no exception to the general rule. I did my best" to make my visit as brief and as little incommodious -to others as possible. I have to, thank, the New Zealand Times for its accuracy in recording the exact moment of - myarrival, and forits generous forbearancein not ; publishing details of no possible public interest, and necessarily painful to the chief performer, ' who, through no act of his own volition, is '• often compelled to produce most disagreeable 1 effects. But I desire to draw attention to the ' unfair, unmanly, and ungenerous treatment I 1 have suffered at the hands of another news- 1 paper, and the inaccurracy with which my 1 coming has*been chronicled. That paper has, 1 in a thoroughly unchristian spirit, requested I Auckland papers to please copy its brutal < attack upon myself. If, sir, this is to be the I treatment to which people placed in public ( positions, without any desire on their part, are t to be exposed, I can only say with my esteemed friend Mr. W.T. L. Travers, thatT shall be com- i pelled to retire into private life. I am at a * loss to find a motive for this attack upon myself. I have no interest in the "Wellington f Country Districts. I have never punched any- 1 one's head, never confined my strength to the 1 toe of my boot, and applied that strength to a c limited locality on the human frame. And s yet lam attacked in this manner. I appeal to you, Sir, for justice, by the publication of this i letter, and remain your obedient servant, — j The Earthquake." t

A promising boy who delivers newspapers, and is anxious to qualify himself for employment in the literary, department, came to me as one of the unattached members, and asked me to give him something out of a newspaper on which he could enlarge, arid so practise composition. I gave him the following interesting items, which were published last Monday evening by, the acme of accuracy in journalism:—" Some arrangement has been come to between the General Government and the dark-shinned heroes."—" GuAHAMSTOWN, September 20.—The Ohinemuri correspondent of the Tliames Advertiser reports the arrival at Ohinemuri of a number of gentlemen from natives had broken open the houses built Tauranga, who state that the Pirirakau by the Government for the Stewart settlers at Katikati." The boy absented himself for some hours, and on his return said : "I have an idea that I could make something out of the first of those paragraphs, for the idea conveyed by ' dark-shinned heroes' is quite Homeric. But the second one has so confused me that T can do nothing. I have read it every way, including sideways and upside down, and I am as far off from comprehending it as ever ; but I have got a notion out of the thing, nevertheless. It is that the greatest blunderers are ever the most ignorantly impudent in detecting error in others."

The grave places no limits to testimonial giving in Tasmauia. The llohaHon Mercury recently called upon "the subscribers to the fund for presenting a testimonial to the late Captain Clinch" to meet at a certain time and place. It is evident that no difficulty in waiting upon the Captain at his present resi-. dence, in •order to present him with the testimonial, was anticipated. As it seems likely that Captain Clinch is now, in respect of residence, where we would all like to be, I can easily conceive that there could be no personal objection on the part of the subscribers to wait upon him. But supposing the testimonial had been got up for some one about the exact locality of whose future home there might have been grave doubts, would not the presentation have involved some personal inconvenience 1

The younger Kingsley makes one of his characters, who has just heard a true Christian speak, say, " There is something in it after all." And day by day, whilst mistaken zealots unintentionally do harm to faith by their intemperance and bigotry, we fortunately get practical examples that bring home the teachings of the Great Master. The simple record of how Commodore Goodenough died, wants no comment nor explanation to illustrate its lesson. " There is something in it after all," for " see how these Christians die."

The New Zealand Times had a pleasant account this week of an emigration agent's reception in Belfast. But if I am informed aright, the public meeting at which the emigration agent fared so badly is no move to be taken as a true test of public feeling than are public meetings on the abolition question, let us say. For it is said that there was in Belfast at the time of the meeting an emigration agent from New Zealand, a native of that city, who had spent many years in the city of Auckland in this colony, and was even there considered to bo preternaturally knowing. That gentleman knew " the boys " in Belfast, and had their respect. It is alleged that his judicious arrangements for the reception of the Queensland agent produced tho result recorded, and that his colonial experience stood him in good stead in making his arrangements. Letters of naturalisation have been granted to Edwin Torrens Brissenden, gentleman. An

unnecessary ceremony, as it Beems to me. Quite superfluous, a work of the merest supererogation. I have the authority of my esteemed friend Sir George Grey, if he will permit me to call him so, for saying that E. T, Brissenden, gentleman, did not want naturalisation at all. There is Parliamentary evidence that, as regards New Zealand, he was in many: respects "to the manner born." I believe that riot one of those who are supposed to know the way of doing things here could have surpassed the hitherto alien E. T. B. in managing land purchases. And . that reminds me. Of the persons last gazetted as naturalised, only one describes his occupation as "gentleman." That one is E. T. Brissenden. But why gentleman? I thought he was a lands purchase commissioner. Is it not gentlemanly to be a lands purchase commissioner? or is it impossible to be a lands' purchase commissioner and a gentleman at once. There were farmers gazetted, and mariners gazetted, and even a laborer gazetted at the same time as Edwin Torrens Brissenden. Then, why not lauds purchase commissioner ! Do not let it be said in reply, that he is no longer a lands purchase commissioner. That would, indeed, indicate an irreparable loss to his adopted country.