INTELLIGENT VAGRANT.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXX, Issue 4488, 7 August 1875, Page 1 (Supplement)

INTELLIGENT VAGRANT.

(From the New Zealand Mail.) Quis scit an adjiciant hodiernfc crastma snramro Tempora Di Superi.— Horace. This is the age of steamboat enterprise. Everyone is going home and fetching out new steamers, and the latest obtained is, we are always told, “ superior to anything previously seen in these waters.” But I think no one has as yet informed the public of the latest thing in the way of steamers which is about to be sent out by our “ enterprising fellow-townsman, Mr. John Martin” (my quotations are from the Press of the period). A It- Martin is about to send out a steamer containing this improvement upon all others, that she will make the trips between the different ports of the colony without giving time to the passengers to eat anything, Ihe ingenuity and economy of this way of doing business, it will be seen, is characteristic o;t Mr. Martin s enterprise.

I have really to ask pardon for having placed such a subject as that written of above before those interesting items of parliamentary intelligence which I am privileged to be the means of communicating. Xt was a mistake, but it was only momentary, and I at once proceed to Parliamentary matters. I am anxious to testify to the value of the only accurate description of Parliament in session which I have as yet met with. In an “ esteemed evening contemporary” (that is, I think, the correct expression) I find it said : “ The evening setting was chiefly occupied with the Public Works Statement.” I have italicised a word, because nothing so much reminds me of a parcel of solemn old hens setting as does a sitting of the House of Representatives ; and nothing reminds me s© much of the addled result of the settings of some old hen?, as does the -writing of the author from whom I have just quoted. The editor of the Wairarapa Standard will come down on you now sir, and point triumphantly to the proof that has been just afforded of the truth of the great poisoning letter. Did they not make a base attempt to bum the Superintendents on Wednesday night, and after this is it to be supposed that the Government will stick at a little poisoning. By the way, it said that when the Government buildings caught fire on the night X have mentioned. Sir George Grey was heard to murmur Inccdts per ignes suppositos cineri doloso.

There was a hitch somewhere or another in the announcement of the Opposition policy. Personally, I may say that I thought Sir George Grey was particularly clear and lucid in the matter. He laid down for himself the simple line of policy adopted by the late Mr Gregsbury, which was, if my memory be correct, “to play the devil with everything.” But I must have been mistaken, for some time after he had spoken I heard one honorable member of the Opposition say to another, “ That was not the policy we settled upon ; we only went so far as watching finance and abolition, but he has pledged us to pitch into the Governor. It isn’t fair. My constituents think double of me when I go back and talk of the ball at Government House, and if we go on like this, we have seen our last invite, and I shall lose my seat.” My friend Lobbee tells me a curious story. An hon. member who represents an electoral district in Otago numbers amongst his constituents a great many Irishmen, with whom it is the constant aim of his life to keep on good terms, as they are an impulsive people, who vote in a block and are quick at taking an insult. He was visited by one of them this week, who had a small favor to ask. The favor was granted with a ready politeness that the member hoped would go far towards his interest. The constituent, in an outburst of gratitude, said, “ Sure, I always heard you was a rale gentleman, and now I believe it.” The member was astonished and annoyed. “You infernal scoundrel,” said he, “are you too going to blackguard me like those rascally papers ?” Fortunately, a little explanation showed that the “ rale ” the constituent meant and the “ rail ” the member meant were not identical. But it occurs to me that the mistake could not have occurred had not the member had a conscience sensitive on some point. The first division of the session took place on a question of drink. This gives me occasion to notice that the first division of each session invariably takes place on some question connected with eating or drinking, which would seem to point at once to those portions of hon. members’ persons in which a high wrought political feeling is most easily aroused. The last division is noticeable also, because there went into the strong drink lobby the three clergymen, and four of the newspaper men, in the House. I have heard a good many people complaining that the daily papers just now are rather destitute of what are called “locals.” The excuse made by the newspaper people I believe is that Parliamentary news occupies a large quantity of space, to the exclusion of other matters. Mr. Editor, sir (pardon my mode of address, a fortnight’s attention to the House has imbued me with its forms), I have a valuable suggestion to offer in reference to this business. I can give a foundation for a “local” of such surpassing interest that with its appearance all complaints must disappear. Let the reporters be well on the watch, and perhaps some morning or evening they may be able to announce to a circle of gratified readers. “In the House yesterday Sir George Grey did not mention ‘the constitutional question.’ ” There would be a novelty about this piece of intelligence, sir, that should create unlimited interest and excitement.

That was such a pretty letter by “Amy” about O’Connell, that I cannot help following her example and saying something on the subject myself. Whilst doing this, I desire attention to the fact that I intend strictly to adhere to “Amy’s” method, and that thus I may incur the satire of some ill-natured persons, and have it said that I write a great deal of the pettiest nonsense about myself, and nothing worth reading about O’Connell. To begin ■ then. My earliest recollections of the great Liberator date back to the time when having caught me trying to light a fire under a hayrick with a flint and steel, he impressed his features on my memory and the print of a stick on my ; but details are unnecessary. He was connected with me, I may say, by an interesting tie. The same lady did the washing for his and my family. I remember with distinctness that X once offended him grievously by an effort to play Garryowen arranged as a solo for a comb covered with paper. His hatred of music was so intense that he was unable to appreciate one of our great national airs, even under such favorable circumstances. I shall never forget the charming humor with which he noticed an attack of scarlatina which happened to me. He said in his most winning tones, “ Bcgorra the little brfste is as red as a lobsther.” I trust that these few pretty reminiscences will be accepted in the spirit which causes me to offer them. Those photographic likenesses of the members of Parliament that Messrs. Wrigglesworth and Binns have published mast be most remarkable. I have not seen them, but I attribute my qualification of them to a description I have read, X am assured that “we never saw so numerous a collection maintain so close and invariable resemblance throughout.” I have always thought that members of Parliament were as a rule exceedingly like each other, being formed on a model of by no means the most attractive type. lam happy to see that 1 have not been incorrect. Bveu in their photographs, the common characteristic, it is evident,- is predominant. What that characteristic is, it would be impertinence on my part to say.