INTELLIGENT VAGRANT.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXX, Issue 4435, 7 June 1875, Page 4

INTELLIGENT VAGRANT.

(From the New Zealand Mail, June 5.) Quis soil an adjioiant hodiernaj crastina summie Temi>ora Di Supori.—Horace. This is an interesting affair of the old settlers wanting grants of land. It may be prejudice, hut I do not like old settlers. I was introduced to one of them the day I arrived in Wellington. The introduction was at the dinner table of an hotel. The old settler was a fowl. I am confident she was a very old settler indeed, and had, in her way, and in her time, done as much for the increase of the population as any one. But she was tough and stringy, and so are most old settlers. I have a suggestion to make regarding Messrs. Wallace, Wakefield, and the old settlers geneally. They want grants of land ; give them grants of land —bury them, and charge no cemetery fees. It is reassuring to know that whatever doubts may exist as to the statesmanlike qualities of Mr. Gillon, the person who most respects him, and who is most interested in him, has no doubts whatever. It is plain that on this subject he himself is ho sceptic. For the sake of the country, therefore, it is pleasant to know that he is not opposed to abolition, and yet does not desire the death of provincialism until he sees what we are going to get instead of it. Now, those are my views exactly. As a waiter upon Providence, through the medium of newspapers, I want to see what chances there are for me before I go in strongly on any side. The only thing I differ from Mr. Gillon in is that matter of his qualifications. If any enterprising trader were to purchase Mr. Gillon at his (Mr. Gillon’s) price, and to sell him again at mine, that trader would be in the insolvent court in a jiffey. And, talking of an insolvent court, reminds mo of the question an intending emigrant from London to here aijkccl at the Agent-General’s office. An urbane clerk had given him any amoimt of information as to our climate, soil, and resources. He had been assured that it was summer all the year round ; that roast legs of mutton and sirloins of beef were among

our natural fruits, and red currant jelly and horseradish were perennial crops. He had been given evidence that every man got two days’ pay for one day’s work, and, yet he seemed to hesitate, and looked at a friend who accompanied him, in a dubious manner. “ Is there any other information I can give you, sir •” asked the clerk. “ Why, yes,” said the intending immigrant. “ Is there a ’solvency court 1” Being assured that there was, and that it was amongst the most valued and most carefully guarded of our institutions—having heard this, he turned to his friend and said, with a beam of hope on bis face, “It’s all right, Bill; that’s the place for you and me.” Then he said to the clerk, “ Put us down for the next ship.” Moody, old man (if you will permit so familiar a form of address from a total stranger), what a chance you have lost. You came to New Zealand not long ago, thinking that your talents would secure you a place in the colonial Cabinet at once. Finding, however, that it would take a little time to get so far, you contented yourself with efforts to be returned to the Town Council. Owing to the ignorance of the ratepayers, and the reputation of your chief backer, you failed in this ; and now you have lost a golden chance in the nomination for Thomdou Ward. Why did you not do as Gillou did for the Council ? Why did you not bring yourself out, and, no suitable candidate presenting himself, you would have gone in flying. As a co-operative enterpriser you are without peer ; but as a politician, municipal or otherwise, you have yet a few things to leam. The immigration policy is not an unmixed benefit : it is frequently followed by results of altogether too fruitful a character. For instance, I am awara of a gentleman in the Pairawapa—(l am particular in giving the name of the district, so that the persons I am writing about may be easy of identification,) — who exactly one year ago advertised for the services on his property of “ a man and wife, without incumbrance.” Suitable parties presented themselves, and the gentleman, overlooking certain evidences on the part of the lady that her husband would not be long without an incumbrance,, engaged them. In one month • the lady incumbered her husband with twins, and the employer indignantly remonstrated against this, as a breach of agreement, and a taking advantage of his kindness, which had conceded one incumbrance. However, as the offending parties were newly arrived immigrants, the employer forgave them, under solemn obligations not to do it again. But I sicken for human trustworthiness when I have to tell how, last week, the lady again produced an incumbrance in duplicate, and attributed her misfortune to the climate. The employer is as patriotic a soul as ever breathed, but he says that he cannot afford to have the population increased at his expense in this way, and further, he says, that though an intimate friend of Parson Andrew, he considers the circumstance I have related no fit subject for joking. I like to oblige people, and if any person or persons prefer a reasonable wish, I like to see that wish gratified. Lately, a telegram from Taranaki stated that, in answer to a deputation, the Superintendent of that province said that Wellington was the only province which had room" in its asylum to receive lunatics, “ and,” added the telegram, “ the deputation expressed a wish that they should be sent there immediately.” Why not oblige the deputation? How many Superintendents are there who would be only too glad if deputations would ask to be sent to a lunatic asylum, and who would oblige them willingly. I once overheard a Superintendent wish a deputation, he was aheut to receive, in a place where it takes very clever people to get to. That’s the kind of man the Taranaki deputation should have talked to. Amongst the funny paragraphs which you - put in your paper every now and again, Mr. Editor, records of little mistakes made by printers occur often. Let me add one to your list, from my own experience. I was changing my residence the other day, and advertised an auction sale, or indeed I may say, without false pride, my creditors did it for me. After the 'advertisement was in type, I sent in some further items to the printer, thus:—“Add to I.V.’s sale ‘a quantity of home made preserves and pickles.’ ” And the printer turned this out in the advertisement, “ A quantity of horse manure and palings.” There has been a good deal of late in your telegrams and correspondence, sir, about the employment of women in telegraph offices. I am not about to pronounce a decided opinion on the system, but I may say that it is not without its advantages and disadvantages. This was proved when Baron Reuter took to employing a number of women clerks in offices in London. Being a thorough man of business, he got the best looking articles in this lltie to be obtained, not, however, taking them ®n that account alone, but observing due caution that mental merit should accompany bodily grace. And what was the result ?_ Why that the number of young men who invented business requiring a call at Baron Reuter’s, or who called there without having any business at all, was enormous. Thus, whilst his business undoubtedly was benefited in one direction, it was made a subject for annoyance in another. Young men with money found it better for their pockets, better for their heads, and better for their healths, to spend a few shillings over some mock business at Reuter’s and have a flirt with a pretty girl, than in order to attain the same object—flirting—to waste money and brains in a bar. And young men without money could with much more dignity, and some exercise of mother wit, invent business which would at least procure them a chat with a little real hair and complexion ; and this they could not command when compelled to see themselves deserted in the interesting part of a conversation for some one in a position to order drinks. But then, you see, what was these young men’s gain was the Baron’s loss. So that, as I said, the system, if it has its advantages, has also its disadvantages. ’ The examination of school teachers is approaching. Aniustance which haspresenteditself to me shows that perhaps, after all, these examinations may not be without their proper use, for I have before me an application made to a school committee in Canterbury, which shows that the applicant would have been all the better for a little examination. This is it:— Timaru 12th April 1875. Blank Blank Esq., Dr. Sir. In answer to your advertisement I beg to offer myself has Teacher. I was master of the Washdirt School for two years also eight years in one o£ tiie Government Schools England. An answer will oblige Your most obedient Servant Address Post office Timaru. And, as if to show that examinations might benefit members of school committees, I have a recommendation of the above applicant, as follows : Washdirt 12th April 1875. Blank Blank Esq. Sir. Mr requests tistimonials from me has to lies character. L am proud to say that he is a very clever man and well qualified tor the situation has Teacher in any school. He was schoolmaster hero for two years and was ranch beloved with parents and scholars. I am Sir Respectfully yrs. Chairman of Committe Washdirt School. There have been some nice people doing nasty things in a business way down. South lately—bolting, and writing other people’s names, and robbing the church, and things of that kind. From practical experience, I maysay that I think these people have been neglectful of the vast advantages which the law throws open to them to do little tricks that will hot involve them in criminal charges. It is so easy, if I may use the expression, to swindle “ on the square ” that I am surprised people take the trouble, and risk the danger, of doing it “on the cross.” Why, I knew as neat a - little thing done the other day, in a strictly honorable manner, as I have ever heard of. A - friend of mine, in the great province of Capercailzie, wanted to buy a sheep run. He was an elderly gentleman, and, being Scotch, was without guile in business matters. He had several sons, one of whom was a partner in a well established mercantile firm. He agreed with a squatter for the purchase ot a station—half cash, and the rest on bills. The cash was paid, but there was fa hitch about the bills. The" squatter wanted a good name on them. My friend did

uot want to give auy but his The squatter suggested ft way out ot the ththciiltyj that my friViul should get his sou to back the bills. It ia unnecessary to say that the squatter know hut one son, the mercantile gentleman. My friend consented, but r*ot another son, a young gentleman whose worldly possessions did not extend beyond a stock-whip and a tobacco-pipe, to do the business for him, and obtained the property without mortgage. The squatter presently found out that tho sou he meant, and the son the old man meant, were two different people. Hut ho had no remedy, and, as a matter of fact, tho bills were duly met. In parenthesis, it may be mentioned that wool wont up and station property increased largely in value while the bills were coming to maturity, and my friend did the whole thing innocently, as, being a Scotchman, he was without guile.