EXTRACTS FROM BOOKS.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXIX, Issue 4299, 31 December 1874, Page 3

EXTRACTS FROM BOOKS.

A TIGER STORY, The Jemadar of the Lahore Menagerie has perished in the discharge of his duties, from injuries inflicted by a bear, once shot, we are told, as an habitual and irreclaimable criminal. A story is told of the poor old Jemadar just killed, which, by the way, is an appropriate tribute to his memory, as well as a warning which the authorities of the menagerie have, let us hope, taken ere now to heart. A large and ferocious tiger got loose one day. Most people in the gardens at the time remembered pressing engagements elsewhere, but Jemadar Bishoo Sing conceived that in his case the tiger had the first claim on his attention. The animal was gaily frolicking about some hundred yards from the den. Bishoo Sing took off his turban, and approached with all appearance of humility, salaaming to the ground at every step, and addressing the tiger as if it were a deity. When he came quite close to the astonished beast, he grovelled in ,tho dust, and threw down Ids turban before 'ft. Continuing this line of conduct for a little time, he placed the end of the turban round the tiger’s neck and attempted most gently to lead it. It went a short distance, and then lay down; the old Jemadar also lay down beside it, and again appealed to its feelings. In this manner, thanks to his great pluck and steady nerve, he managed before very long to coax the tiger back into his den. But for the future, we fancy, it will be found easier to keep the animals looked up than to supply the place of the lamented keeper. WRONG BOTH WAYS. Among the scholars when Lamb and Coleridge attended school was a poor clergyman's son of the name of Simon Jennings. On account of his gloomy and dismal nature, his playmates had nicknamed him Pontius Pilate. One morning he went up to the master, Dr. Boyer, and said—“ Please Doctor, the boys call mo Pontius Pilate.” If there was one thing which Dr. Boyer hated more than a fake quantity in Greek and Latin, it was the practice of nicknaming. Hushing down, among his scholars from his pedestal of state, with cane in hand, he cried with his usual voice of thunder, “Listen, boys; the next time I hear any of you say ‘ Pontius Pilate,’ I’ll cane you as long as the cane will last. You are to say ‘ Simon Jennings,’ and not ‘Pontius Pilate.’ Remember that, if you value your hides 1” Next day, when the same class were reciting the Catechism, a boy of a remarkably dull and literal turn of mind had to repeat the Creed. He got , as far as “suffered under,” and was about popping, out the next word, when the Doctor’s prohibition unluckily flashed across his obtuse mind. After a moment's hesitation ho blurted out, “suffered under Simon Jennings, was uttered, for Dr. Boyer had already sprung like a tiger upon him, and the cane was descending upon his unfortunate shoulders. VHien the irate doctor had discharched his cane-storm upon him, he said, “ What do you mean, you booby, by such blasphemy ?” A PLAIN-SPOKEN DOCTOR. Tommy Wormald, or “ Old Tommy,” as the students called him, was Abornethy over again in voice, style, appearance, humour. “ Done for,” was one of his pithy written ro-

ports on a “bad life" to an insurance company, whose directors insisted that he should write his reports instead of giving them verbally. He once astounded an apothecary, who was about to put him and certain. physicians off with a single guinea fee, at a consultation on a rich man’s case, by saying, “A guinea is a lean fee, and the patient is a. fat patient. I always have fat fees from fat patients. Pay me two guineas, sir, instantly. Pay Hr. Jefferson two guineas instantly, sir. Sir, pay both the physicians and me two guineas each, instantly. Our patient is a fat patient." Some years since, rich people of a mean sort would drive down to St. Bartholomew’s, and get gratuitous advice, as out patients. Tommy was determined to stop this abuse, and lie did it by a series of outrageous assaults on the self-love of the offenders. Noticing a lady, dressed in silk, who had driven up to the hospital in a brougham, Tommy raised hip rich, thunderous, sarcastic voice, and to the inexpressible glee of a roomful of young students, addressed the lady thus—“ Madam, this charity is for the poor, miserable, destitute invalids of London. - So you are a miserable invalid in a silk dress—a destitute invalid, in a rich silk dress —a poor invalid, in a dress that a duchess might wear. Madam, I refuse to pay attention to miserable, destitute, invalids who wear rich silk dresses. You had order your carriage, madam." The lady did not come again. —“ Old and Neio Londonby Walter Thombury. NEEDLE POISONING IN INDIA. The practice of putting people out of the way by means of poisoned needles is now very prevalent in India, and is even leas liable to detection than the administration of internal doses. A case recently occurred at Rawui Pindee, in which a man was punctured on the neck when asleep, but he woke up iu time to see the operator slink off. On being brought to the dispensary, he was treated by Hr. Ince, but swelling and pain in the neck rapidly increased, erysipelas supervened, and the patient died three days,after being punctured.—“ The Oriental Edited by J. H. Stocqueler. THE HIGHLAND HARP. The last appearance of the Highland harp on the field of battle was at Glenlivat, 3rd October, 1594, when the Earl of Argyle, as the royal lieutenant, encountered the rebel lords Huntly and Errol. 'Argyle brought his harper with him, and also a sorceress, who predicted that, on the following Friday, his harp should sound in Buchan and his pibroch in Strathbogie—the provinces of his enemies. But the battle took place on Thursday, the royal troops were routed, and the Pythoness herself perished in the slaughter. The harp was finally discontinued in the Scottish Highlands about 1734, leaving the bagpipe master of the field. STORIES OP FOX. Charles Butler, when spending the day -with Mr. Fox, at St. Aime’s Hill, mentioned that he had never read Adam Smith’s celebrated work on the “Wealth of Nations." “To tell you the truth," said Mr. Fox, “nor I either. There is something in all these subjects which passes my comprehension, something so wide that I could never embrace them myself, nor find any one who did." The stamp duty on receipts was first introduced during the short reign of the Administration of “All the Talents." Fox was at this time in pecuniary difficulties, which led Sheridan to write “I would,” says Fox, “a tax devise That should not fall on mo.” “Then tax receipts,” Lord North replies, “ For those you never see.” THE TWO BROWNS. A story is told, and it may be averred that it is “ founded on fact," that in a certain cathedral city there once dwelt two ministers of the Gospel—one, we will call him John Brown, a member of the cathedral body j and another of the same name, a poor independent minister. The similarity of address led to some unfortunate contretemps; letters and parcels intended for one J. B. went to the other J. B. On one occasion the cathedral J. B. became angry on opening a parcel not intended for him, and he consequently addressed the following note to Mr. J. Brown :—“ Sir, if you had not assumed a title to which you had no right, this mistake could not have occurred.—Your obedient servant, &c. The Nonconformist bided his time in silence. Not long after this, however, he too opened a parcel intended for his High Church brother, Jt contained a supply of manuscript sermons. Upon this the dissenting brother addressed the following retort courteous to the minor cannon :—“ Rev. Sir, If you had not undertaken an office for which you are wholly unfit, this accident could not have occurred.—Your obedient servant, J. B." A PERSIAN PALACE-BUILDER. We are told that Khoosroo Purveez—who flourished in the latter part of the sixth century, and was the most recklessly extravagant of any monarch of even the Sassauian dynasty —employed his enormous wealth in constructing palaces one for every season. Persian royal magnificence attained its climax during the thirty-eight years of his reign, and native writers dilate with wonder on his thrones, which were priceless, particularly that called the Takh-dis, formed to represent the twelve signs of the Zodiac, and the hours of the day ; his treasures ; his ladies, of whom there were 12,000, every one, according to these veracious Persian chroniclers, “ equal to the moon in splendour and beauty;" his horses, of which 50,000 stood in the royal stables ; and his 1200 elephants. Having subdued the kingdom of Persia, and caused Khoosroo Purveez to fly for his life, though it was only to perish miserably at the hand of his eldest son, the Roman Emperor Heraclius retired, says Gibbon, “ after six glorious campaigns, to enjoy the Sabbath of his toils at Constantinople and very soon the stately palaces built by the Persian monarch in the province of Iran fell into ruin, and not a trace of them now exists.— Illustrated Travels,