THE PHILOSOPHY OF DINING. [From Dickens's Household Words.]

New Zealand Spectator and Cook's Strait Guardian, Volume IX, Issue 829, 13 July 1853, Page 3

THE PHILOSOPHY OF DINING. [From Dickens's Household Words.]

Let us by all means try to sit down to dinner in a good temper. Nothing spoils tie digestion like anger. We should look upon the hour or two set apart for dinner as the holiday part pf the day, and dining as an orthodox amusement. It is of no use saying " Don't do this — and don't do that — after or belore dinner; don't write, don't read, don't get hot," and so forth. The best thing we can do is not to think about it at all. An eminent — I may say the most eminent — physician now living (and to whom the writer of these lines, under God's blessing, owes his life) said once in a case of very painful hypochondria — «• Eit ? Why, eat what you like ; don't ask me, I have nothing to do with it." Dinner is a necessity that should be taken aud enjoyed, not thought about. I know of an oIJ gentleman of fortune (how blind she is I) who has all the cookery books he knows of brought up to him in bed of a morning ; these he reads with earnest attention, and then summons his cook to learn what is exactly in season. After mature deliberation, he proceeds to the grave business of ordering dinner, and toddles about the shady side of Pall Mall, worrying the world with fat -jokes till it is ready. I know a man, too, a barrister in great practice, who will probably one day be Lord Chanc llor. He is making perhaps twenty thousand pounds a-year by bis profession (more shame to us !), and he never dines at all : — a biscuit, and a glass of sherry bolted mechanically, aod placed near him by his clerk, who has a sort of life interest in hm ; a mutton chop got through nobody knows how, and peppered with the dust of briefs — such is his nourishment. Neither of these men understand the philosophy of dining. The one — I mean the glutton — never takes his dinner without grumbling, and, as sore as you,, my worthy reader, who are reading this paper pleasantly with your wife over the tea-table may hope to die happily of old age, so, probably, will our choleric friend of the cookery books be carried off some day choking and grumbling by an apoplexy. A really good wholesome dinner would take the lawyer by surprise as a thing he really was not used to, and he reminds me often of an old Gottingen professor, of whom it is related that be married. One day, about a week afterwards, his bride wondering that he did not come down to supper, went intp his library to see what detained htm. She found him in his papers. " Wilhelm," she said gently. " Mem Frauleinl" replied the professor startled. " Miss ! what can Ido for you L What haj3 happened that you p»y me such a late visit ?'* Some people, indeed, hive so used • themselves to bad habits that they can no longer return to good ones. Frederick Barbarossa is not the only person who- has been killed even by such a simple proceeding as a good washing. It is not therefore for such lost sheep as these that I write, but for sensible persons like you and myself, dear reader. Kings and>Q,ueens generally set the, hour of dining in the countries they govern/ It is.wbispareJ that the Queen of Great Britain dines wuh her children at two o'clock, and^ that the staje dinner, at eight is a mere pageant. Louis Philippe dined generally at seven, at least such is the hour named in an invitation — I beg his ghost's pardon, a/command — I have by me. The Queen of Spain dines, or used to dine, at five ; the Sultan at sunset ; the late King of Sardinia dined at three ;" the Emperor of Russia eats when he. is hungry — vhe Slate dinners are between, five and six; the Emperor of Austria dines at five ;- the King of Prussia at three ; the King of Hanover at five ; the King of Sweden at fire. The hour of five seems indeed to be the most general, an it is the most convenient. On the continent, especially, as everyone goes* to the theatre, which opens at seven— a later hour ihaa

five would interfere with tbe projects for the , tvening. Guests upon tbe continent always take leave of their host about seven, so that he is not bored to death with them all tbe evening. Dinner means dinner, and nothing more, and a dinner party it not, as with us, the miserable waste of many hours. Busy men should take some refreshment once in every six or seven hours. Professional men often put off their dinners too long for tbe sake of dining at home, when a chop at a club would prolong their life ten years. By the bye the City wants a club terrf »ly. Wine or stimulant may he taken or not taken. Weak men require stimulant in moderation ; strong, full-blooded people are better without it. Any thought about whet you are to eat, or how you are to eat it, is unworthy of a man of sense. Hold no communion with tbe vegetarians. Vegetable diet is a delusion and a snare ; — a little man who had tried it for six months used to describe bis sensations being " as if his bones were unhooked one from the other." Studious men, however, or those engaged in sedentary occupations, should only eat meat once a day, and then in moderate quantity. A couple of glasses of water after dinner is said to be a capital digester — and I dare say it is, for I generally see fat people drink them. Intense thought immediately after dinner will certaioly make tbe blood fly to the head, which we want at the stomach ; it should therefore be j checked. Do not dine alone if you can help it: if you are obliged to do so, however, take something to read with you ; anything to teep tbe mind cheerful without excitement. I have often j found the waiter, especially iv foreign inns, a much pleasanter fellow than he looked. Waiters are always ready to talk if permitted, and, for my part, I would sooner learn the views of a waiter on passing events than take a silent dinner. We lose a great deal by too much reserve also. I think it was Johnson (in one of those pithy dialogues chronicled by Boswell) who used to say, " Sir, lam always ready to talk to anybody ; if he is better than me I shall be improved by it, if otherwise I may hope to improve him." While living abroad I or.cc dined every day for three months at the same table with another gentleman, without either of us having ever exchanged a word. It certainly was not my fault, and he told me, 'or I knew him very intimately subsequently, tnat it was not his. It was probably mere acquired reserve on both sides. As a role, single men, not in high official positions, should be always ready to talk to everybody. I have made the chance acquaintance of some of the celebrities of history while dining at ho'els. It was so that I first saw Godoy, the famous Prince of the Peace, ' and Washington Irving. Food should be varied a's much as possible. It was the silliest thing ever devised to give tbe ! same dinners at public institutions every day. Neither need persons who can afford it fear to eat of many different things at tbe same dinner. It , is pleasant, however, to think that the poor man's i piece of boiled rusty bacon contains as much or I more nourishment than the epicure's ortolan, and certainly tastes sweeter to him. There are very I few things, indeed, in which wealth has any real ! advantage over poverty. The best tonic indeed I know of, is having in one's children alter dinner, and, in this respect, poor men are frequently better off than rich ones. In the first place, because they want no tonic to digest their wellearned food ; and, in the next, because they have it if they do ; — a pleasant example of the embarrassment of riches. The French have a proverb that "Night brings counsel.'*' I prefer, however, the saying of Sancho Panza, " 1 here is wisdom in olives." One takes a much easier common-sense view of things after dinner than before. Juvenal says, coarsely, " No man reasons on a full stomach." I forgive Juvenal, who was by no means a man after my heart, but I cannot agree with him. I think it is precisely then jhat one does reason well, charitably, and forgivingly. No man ever knew bow to dine properly who could shut out his heart afterwards to the distresses of one human being. It is all very well putting on a stern face, Mr. Bull, but you really cannot button up your pockets to your poor relation after all that turtle soup and iced punch, that whitebait and rotst sweetbread, so it's of no use trying. If you had wanted to play the hard man with him any longer, you should not have asked him to dinner. There 'is no resisting the energy and eloquence given to him by so much good cheer. How many useful inventions, how much happy thought and pleasant wisdom, how many good resolutions, how much hope, and love, and truth, and kindness, have been born of a good dinner ! How keen an insight into character may be bad in an after-dinner conversation. If I wanted really to judge tbe capacity or the heart of any one, I would sooner see him at dinner than at any hoar of the twenty-four. England is the most dinner-giving nation in the world. Then Russia ; latterly, tbe French have begun to give a good many dinners ; but Germany, Spain, and Italy, are still benighted in this particular. In Denmark and Sweden a good deal of rough coarse hospitality goes on, and tbe Turks even can and do give good dinners, when they do not attempt to serve them in the European ktyle. A good rule in giving dinners is never to have more guests or more dishes than you know how to manage. A roast saddle of Welsh mutton, two sorts of vegetables, and a tart, is a dinner for a prince ; but then there should not be more than four princes or princesses to eat it. It is the best dinner a young housewife, whose husband has five hundred pounds a-year can, or ought, to put upon the table, and much better than any possible abominations contrived by the pastry-cook round the corner. Tbe mistress of a small household should never be above giving an eye to the maid ; nobody will think any the worse of her. A very dear and near friend of mine, who is now a man of mark enough in the world to be recognised by some who read these pages, used to give charming lit c dinners ; and many a time ha?e we all gone to the kitchen, a " merry three," »nd dressed a little impromptu feast a philosopher and an ep cure might alike envy. My friend was a dab at ai omelette, and piqued himself rather upon it; li,. wife made a bread-and-butter puddiug that made one's mouth water to think about ; and I beat up the sauce, and did the looking-on part. Surely, surely, never were there such merry'dinners. I don't think it ever occurred to any of us to regret we had not a cook r or abeve the pay of a good City clerk in a bank among the. three of us.

I la France it is customary to drink t glass of vermuth or some bitter liqueur before dinner, and a farewell in coffee after it, as digesters. In Russia, at Hamburg, in Denmark and Sweden, and in most of the northern countries of Europe, an epicure begins his dinner with a glass of fiery spirits ; and I have found it a good plan to follow the customs of any' country in which I might be living. In southern countries, however, where the atmosphere is dry, this practice would be an easy and familiar introduction to the doctor. In Spain, Italy, Turkey, &c, all fermented liquors shouli be avoided by a man who does not wish to be in a perpetual fever. One cup of well-made coffee is also enough for anybody. I once knew a physician in good practice, whose whole family were in the habit of taking a tea-spoonful of soda mixed in water and then a glass of port wine after dinner, but I found that it produced acidity instead cf destroying it. The best specific I know for acidity is a glass of cold water ; if one does not succeed, try two. French dinners should always be diluted with claret and water ; beer does not harmonise with them. Half a bottle of claret and one glass of Madeira is a fair dinner allowance for any man, and will not hurt him. Claret may be drank, and will be found good in France, Northern Germany (especially in the Steuer-Verein), Russia, and America ; elsewhere it is detestable. Beer* is good in England, Bavaria, and indeed throughout Germany, and in America ; everywhere else it should be avoided. In Hamburg, English beer may be had cheaper than in England, owing to the drawback on exportation. In Spain the only drinkable wine I could ever get, except at , the houses of the Jews, was the Val-de-penas, but that is seldom good ; it is hardly necessary to add that port and sherry are unknown tbere, and it would be impossible to drink either in a hot country, if as plenti ul as water, I I found it a good plan to drink weak brandy-and-water throughout Spain. If an English traveller also should arrive hungry at a Spanish inn, he had better confine himself to eggs, and dress them himself, or they will be served up with rancid oil and bad potatoes. It is a curious j thing that beef-steaks are better almost everywhere , than in England. They are best of all io Hami burg. Let the epicure ask for a bifteJc 6tovff4 — I a stifled beefstake — and he will make the acquaintance of one of those happy marvels of cookery of which there are not more than four or five in the world. The rorst ham I ever eat was at Bayonne; but they .make the best chocolate in the world there. In Southern Germany | the best dish a hungry traveller can a&k for is a TzaJbs-cotelette (a veal cutlet) ; in Northern Germany beefsteaks and potatoes are to be recommended. Mutton throughout Germany is detestable. In Hungary the fried chickens are better than anything else, and for wine let the thirsty man r.sk for Erlauer, and mix it with two parts of water to one of wine. Italy is famous for macaroni ; and a dish called polenta should be forgotten by no visitor to Venice, though it : wants a good appetite. In America, pumpkin pie stands first in the estimation of the wise, and mint julep and sherry cobbler require no recorn- ; mendation here ; although bow cousin Jonathan can contrive to swallow so much of them it is not easy to understand. A mayonnaise is a good dish in its way, and a capital manner of serving up cold salmon or the remains of a fowl. At Frankfot, however, they give you a mayonnaise of brains ; a dish which it surpasses the capacity of any human digestion to dispose of satisfactorily. The Jews, I really believe can eat anything in the way of strong food. I once saw a pretty little lady of this race devour the best part of a Strasbourg pie without one atom of bread, yet sbe seemed to live upon butterflies, and had a complexion like an houri. The capacity of the digestions of Southern Germany is alse very remarkable"; they can dispose of a regular meal six times a day, and fill up the intervals with raw herrings and sardines. An Algerine, however, once told me He. eat tweuty pounds of grapes daily while they were iv season, for his health. So that nationality can make little difference. However, southern nations are less given to excess than northern ones. The late Mr. Li s ton was once called in by a - lady in weak health-; his advice to her was to get tipsy every day. She did ao and recovered. The relations of an old gentleman of eighty used to assert that he never by any accident went to bed sober. Yet Panucci, one of the favourite long livers of Italy, never eat anything but salad and drank nothing whatever. Priests may be said, as a body, to lire more moderately than soldiers ; yet we have more examples of long life in /he army than in the priesthood. Diet, or rather fixed rules of diet seem to have little influence on longevity. Persons who wish for long life had better buy annuities; there are plenty of people silly enough to sell them ; but no one yet ever eat, drank, or starved themselves into long life.