EXTRACTS FROM PUNCH.

New Zealand Spectator and Cook's Strait Guardian, Volume IX, Issue 826, 2 July 1853, Page 4

EXTRACTS FROM PUNCH.

Ammunition Flung Aw at. — Goldner's Preserves have again been brought unt'er the public nose ; and it appears that several" more pots of them have been cast into the sea. This is a grievous waste ; they should have been resoldered, and kept for ammunition. Discharged upon the deck of an enemy, these tins would be more destructive than any' other canister ; and, upon bursting, would scatter their deadly contents round with overpowering effect.' Indeed, we will venture to say, that Captain Warner himself has never invented any shell or other projectile that would constitute such offensive weapons.

Ah Extreme Case op Conscience Money. — The Chancellor of tbe Exchequer has received a cheque for £0 Os. Od. from M. R. C. S., the amount due for arrears of Incometax.

'An Unwholesome Truth. — However brisk the demand may be for beer, it is pretty certain that a large proportiou of it is a perfect drue.

Very Proper. — Wo see it gta'ed by a contemporary, that by the treaty which was lately ratified between the British Government and that of the, Sandwich Islands, an express stipulation is made for ■_ _ "_ " Britiih \rbale-shipi to hnre accei a Tor refrei^menti." Very proper this, we think. The geologic formation of the Sandwich IsUnds consisting, as is well known, of alternate strata of basa and bread and butter, it seems but natural our hungry whalers should insist on haTJng access to them for " refreshment."

The Manchester Peace-Policy. —To put down fighting abroad, the .better to uphold our Mills at home, A Blow at the Snuff-Box.— The flame of life, like that of Palmer's candles, will buru brightly enough without snuffing. | '

Artful Dodges for the Diggings. — Among the appliances advertised,for Australian emigration, we find '* a bed the size of a fishingrod," and " a tent the size of a portmanteau." Whether the fishing-rod bedstead will catch many purchasers we cannot say, but there would seem to us to be Tery small comfort in either that or the tent reduced to the dimensions of a packingcase. The necessity for getting a great deal into a small compass will probably lead to a further economy of space, and we shall not be surprised to find boot-jacks advertised to serve as waggons by the addition of wheels, and tin soap dishes recommended for baths as veil as for shaving purposes. If we were to put our own wits to work we 'could suggest a thousand valuable combinations of various uses in one article, and we have much pleasure in offering the following to the serious notice of intending emigrants. A teaspooon and a small shovel. A waterproof wide-awake and a soup tureen in one, with the advantage of occasionally using the article for washing gold, and for a coal-scut-tle. A'purse to be filled with money fey day, to be replaced at night by feathers to form a bolster. A cradle to be used alternately in washing the gold and rocking to sleep the baby. "We might enumerate a long list of ingenious devices similar to the above, but as our only object is to set the invention of others at work, we think we have done enough to accomplish that, laudable object »

j . The Ocean ,io tjie* Railway Rivjek ob our Thoughts. — TLe late decision in Chancery i against the Railway King, has been called in the aristocratic squares and circles, " a dreadI ful run upon the banks of the. Hudson." , -

! A "Song without VxoßD9."~The song the tea-kettle sings.

An Inscrutable Joke. — It seems, that the wages giren by the steam companies vary, and that in the General Screw Company's seryice the wages are the highest. We merely. mention tha fact for the purpose of making the remark,, that the General Screw is not by any means such a screw as its narae..wojuli. indicate.

A, vNew Firm.— Cobden. 'and vfttight ar« going into ( partnership. -It-is «tbeir intention, we are informed,,. tp r £j>e.nio,ibe City a "House for Manchester Peace-work»." - r • . „ %" a^-Hinis a ,eor Xaw -Students-at-the- Eas-

ter ExAMiN.ATiON.-7A Fee-simple*— Giving a slfilling'tp; a < box-keeper. /Justifiable Homicide — Tikiag-Bett's Life. Motto -for- a Lawyer — Deeds, not words !