HOW DARBY MONAGHAN WAS KNIGHTED. [From Chambers' Journal.]

New Zealand Spectator and Cook's Strait Guardian, Volume VI, Issue 516, 13 July 1850, Page 4

HOW DARBY MONAGHAN WAS KNIGHTED. [From Chambers' Journal.]

The Duke of Rutland, when Lord Lieutenant of Ireland, frequently indulged himself in incognito rambles with a few boon companions, through the meaner parts of Dublin, in the course of which he occasionally met with strange adventures. One evening his Grace, Colonel St. Ledger, Soheger, and one

or two others, having entered into a publichouse in the "Liberty," he found the landlord to be so comical a blade that they invited him to sit down to supper with them. Darby Monaghan, who knew bis grace by sight, took care that the entertainment should be such as to give every satisfaction to his guests, and he contrived to season it with such an abundant flow of native wit and drollery, that they were quite delighted with him. His wine and whisky punch were so good that by two in the morning they were all quite jolly, and ready to sally out in the street in quest of adventures. This, however, was prevented by the politic Darby, who contrived by the humour of his songs and the waggery of his jests to fascinate them to the spot, until " one after another they fell drunk under the table." During their libations, and after Darby had said several good things in succession, the Duke, in a fit of good humour, and by way of a joke, turned round to him and said, " By Jove, landlord, you are a glorious fellow, and an honour to your country. What can I do for you, my boy ? (Hiccup) I'll knight you, my lad, so (hiccup again) down upon your marrow bones this instant." "Your Grace's high commands shall be obeyed," said Darby, kneeling. The Duke drew his sv/ord and although Colonel St. Ledger endeavoured to prevent his carrying the joke too far he struck him over the shoulder, aud uttered the ominous words, " Rise up Sir Darby Monaghan." Darby having humbly thanked bis Grace, and swoin fealty to the King of England in a bumper, an immense bowl of punch was ordered in ; this was filled and refilled, until at length the whole party became blind druuk, as before stated. The weather being warm, and the great quantity of punch which they had drunk, prevented the topers from feeling any inconvenience from the hardness of their couch, and they slept as soundly as they would have done on a bed of down either at the castle or the lodge. Darby, who from long seasoning, was soon enabled to overcome the effects of the whisky, rose betimes, and havtng bustled about, soon prepared a comfortable breakfast of tea, coffee, and chocolate, for the sleeping partners of his debauch. When all was ready, not liking to rouse them by shaking or otherwise, he stepped into the room upon tiptoe, and gently opened the window shutters. The sun shining full upon them, they soon awoke from their slumbers, wondering where they were. The landlord, who was listening at the door, speedily put an end to their suspense by thrusting in his black head and nodding to his Grace, assuriug him " that they were safe and sound, and not a bone broke, in Darby Monaghan's own comfortable and fashionable hotel; also that if his Honor's Grace and the other gentlemen would just shake themselves a bit, and sluish their faces with a little nice cold spring water, they might fall to without any more delay, for there was a breakfast fit for a lord laid out for them in the next room. This intelligence was received with much pleasure by the party, who having put themselves in decent trim, adjourned to the breakfast room, where they found every thing of the best laid out in homely style ; out what pleased them most was Darby's attention in bringing in a bottle of whisky under one arm ahd a bottle of brandy under the other. Pouring out several glasses, he presented them to each according to their choice ; taking the Blessed Virgin to witness that a glass of good spirits was the best medicine ever invented for weakness of the stomach, after straitching it with punch overnight. Darby's courtesy was taken in good part ; and after he had retired, the conversation turned upon his extraordinary humour. At length, Colonel S. Ledger seeming to recollect himself, said, "I am afraid, my Lord Duke, youi- Excellency made a bit of a blunder last night, you conferred the honour of knighthood upon this same landlord." " Did I, by heaven ?" exclaimed his Grace. " That you did," replied the Colonel. " Bless me, how unfortunate— why did you not prevent me V " 1 endeavoured to do so with all my might, but your Excellency's weapon was too potent, and I preferred seeing the weapon fall upon his shoulder rather than have it thrust into me." "What an unfortunate affair," exclaimed the Duke, rising ; " but I suppose the fellow does not recollect the circumstance more than myself ; let us call him in. I would not have such a thing reported at St. James's for the world. I should be recalled, and be the laughing-stock of every one at Court. Zounds, to knight the landlord of a common punch house; the thing is surely impossible." " Both possible and true," replied the Colonel ; " but let us ring for him and hear what he himself says on the matter." Darby, who was in attendance at the outside of the door, heard all that passed, and resolved to resist every attempt at depriving him of his newly acquired honours. On his entering the room the following dialogue look place : —

Duke of Rutland : I say, landlord, we were all quite jolly last night ? Darby Monaghan : Your honour's noble Grace may say that same ; we drunk thirteen whacking bowls of punch amongst five of us. Duke : Ah, so we did, I believe — thirteen to the dozen — and you supped with us ? Darby : Many thanks to your Grace's Excellency, Darby Monaghan did himself that same honour ! Duke : No honour at all, my good fellow. But I say, Darby, do yon recollect anything particular I did in the way of a joke, you know ; some foolish thing when we were all drunk as fiddlers ? •-'• Darby : Certainly your Dukeship may say that any how. I dare say the Colonel will remember you filling up the last bowl from the whisky jug, instade of from that containing the hot water. By the powers ! I could not stand that, it sent me off whizzing like a top, and I doesn't recollect one single thing after I emptied it. Duke (laughing) : Oh, then, you don't remember my drawing my sword and threatening to run you through the body? i Darby : The Lord above for ivir preserve yonr Dukeship's highness from cru'l murder and suddint death all the days of your life ; I don't remember any such thing ; but I remember well the whack your Excellency's Royal Higness gave me with that same sword over my shoulder, when you bid me rise up Sir Darby Monaghan. Duke : You do, eh 1 But that was all in jest, you know, Darby, and so we must think no more about it. Darby : Long life to your Highness ; bnt I took it in right airnest, more by token that my shoulder akes at this moment with the blow ; but I musn't mind that, for it was given on an honourable occasion, and resaived with good will : so, thanks to your Excellency for all the favours now and hereafter. Duke : But you don't presume to suppose, my good fellow, that 1 actually conferred upon you the honour of knighthood ? Darby : By the powers, your Highness, but I do ! Sure I wouldn't be after doing your Highness such discredit as to think you maant to brake yir Royal word to man or mortal. Duke : Oh ! the devil (whispering) I say, Colonel, what is to be done ? Colonel (whispering) : Give him some berth, and make him promise to say nothing about the frolic. Duke : Well, Darby, I don't mean to act scurvily towards you — I can give you a tidewaiter's place, or something in the Excise, that will bring you in about £150 a year, and make you independent for life. Darby (kneeling and kissing the Duke's hand) : Let me go on my marry bones once again to thank yer Royal Highness for being so good and merciful to poor Darby Monaghan. He'll nivir forgit to remimber to pray for yer Excellency to the Blessed Saints on Sunday or Holiday. Duke: Well, then, Darby, it is settled that you give up the title, and that nothing shall ever be said about last night's adventure. Darby : Give up the title yer Grace ? and not be called sur after all ? I thought the £150 a- year was to keep up my style as a true royal kmight ? Duke : No, faith ! you shan't have place and title too — so choose without delay. Darby : Well, then, yer Grace, if yer Excellency plaises, I'd rather keep the title, for d'ysee, it'll be such a wonderment for a punchhouse to be kept by Sir Darby Monaghan that I'll soon have all the custom of Dublin cicy, and that'll be better than a tide-waiter's place any how. Duke (laughing) : Well, then, without more argument about the matter, you shall have a place of about £250 a-year, and you must give up your knighthood this instant. Darby (going out) : Plase yer Excellency then, I'll jist step up stairs and ax her Ladyship's advice ; and I dcs-say she'd rather have the money. So I'll inform your Honor's Grace in a twinkling. Her Ladyship was accordingly consulted on the important question, and she wisely, and without hesitation, voted for the income of £250, which they enjoyed for many years. The title, too, stuck to them to the last : for after the Duke's departure from his vice-roy-alty, the affair was bruited about, to the great amusement of the middle and lower orders in Dublin, mho never failed to address the fortunate couple by the appellation of Sir Darby and Lady Monaghan.