SCENES FROM THE LIFE OF AN UNPROTECTED FEMALE.

New Zealand Spectator and Cook's Strait Guardian, Volume VI, Issue 513, 3 July 1850, Page 4

SCENES FROM THE LIFE OF AN UNPROTECTED FEMALE.

[From Punch.'] Scbnb 5. — Outside of a metropolitan county, court. Touters, agents, and attornies off the rolls in attendance, with a real attorney's clerk or two. Enter the Unprotected Female in a state; of grievous excitement, Mysterious Touter' (in a whisper) : Coun-, ty court, mim — jes^ mim, certainly; This 1 way, mim — 'appy to attend to your business, mim. ' Confidential Agent : Stand out of the way' for the 'lady — now, sneaky. Here, mann,; I'll see the Judge for yer. - Subdued Ex- Attorney : Have regular professional assistance, ma'am— my card and terms. (Gives card). Tort or contract, ma'am? Unprotected Female (gazing' distractedly from one to thS other) : Torts and what, sir ? Oh, where have I to go when I'm summoned ? 2nd Touter : Don't 'aye him, mann, he's arf a guinea. I'll take you through for two bob and a bender.

her. Debt for wages, fifteen-and-six, stands 110 to-day. Ex- Attorney : Oh, it's issued is it ? (With glee to Unprotected Female) : Here, my dear madam, we're all right. Your summons is issued. We'll have your fifteen-and-six in a jiffey — a word of mine to his Honor. Unprotected Female : Oh, but I don't owe the money. If Betsey Cummins can stand and look me in the face, and say I've not paid it over and over again, she's a vile woman. Ex- Attorney : (gradually awakening to the real state of the case) : Then it's us that's summoned ? We are not Mrs. Betsey Cummins ? Unprotected Female : Oh, bow can she go to say she ever did a day's charing for me but what she had her tea and sugar extra — and then the mischief she's made in the neighbourhood, and to hare dared to bring her missis into this horrid place ! [She is gradually approximating to a gush of tears from a sense of wrong.] Ex-Attorney : We must compose ourselves, my dear madam. Now, if you please, the instructions. [Takes out note-book.] Unprotected Frmale : Oh, I've had no instructions but that piece of paper. Voice without: Now 110; Cummins against — [The rest is lost in the row.] Unprotected Female : Oh, that's me, and there's that base woman. [Springs with determined purpose towards Betsey Cummins, who is elbowing her way through the crowd.] Ex- Attorney : The instructions, my dear madam, the instructions. Scene changes to the court — a shop which has been converted into a county court under the act. The Judge occupies the site of the fire-place, the professional advisers I that of the counter ; the crowd of plaintiffs, defendants, and witnesses fill the rest of i the space, and an usher makes a tremen- \ dous noise and confusion by way of preserving silence and order. Judge: Now, 110. Be quick ! Usher : There, don't you hear his Honour ! Now, 110, and be quick, do ! Stand back, some of you. [Repels Betsey Cummins and Unprotected Female in their efforts to get into the front.] Judge: Plaintiff — where's plaintiff? Betsey Cummins (having overcome the Usher, has got into the box, and holds up her hand, after the manner of the Old Bailey) : And the truth, the 'ole truth, wich I'm prepared — Judge : Now, swear her. Usher: Silence, woman, don't you 'ear his Honour ? [Betsey Cummins is sworn after several struggles.] Judge : Now, Betsey Cummins, be quick. Unprotected Female (scaling defendant's box, notwithstanding the efforts of the ExAttorney) : Oh ! how dare you, Betsey Cummins ?—? — * Judge : Silence ! woman. Usher : Silence ! womad. Don't' you 'ear his Honour ! Silence ! woman. Come idown, do. [Unprotected Female is removed, in spite of much resistance and explanation.] i Betsey Cummins (who is labouring under the effect! of intoxication) : Wich it's fifteen-and-six she owes me for charing ; and the truth, the 'ole truth, and riothink but the truth, last Saterday as ever Was, and me losing my precious time, wich fifteen-and-six I'll 'areUnprotected Female (again gaining the box) : Oh, Betsey Cummins ! Judge : Remove that woman. She's drunk. Usher : There, come down, do. Don't you *ear his Honour? You're drunk— 'a done, do. (Strives to get Unprotected Female down.)

. Judge : Any witnesses ? Betsey Cummins *: The. truth, the 'ole truth, and nothirik but the truth, is my wit- ' ntsses— fifteen- arid- six. Judge : Now, where's defendant ? Unprotected Female : I must get up. Uitier : Now 'a done, do. (Repulses Jier.) Where's defendant? Unprotected Female : Oh ! that's me. Judge : Eh ?No defendant ? Make an order. Usher: Here's defendant, your Honour. Now then. Unprotected Female (is sworn in a state of distraction) : She's a wicked creature, and given to drinking. You know you are, Bet«ey Cummins. Judge : Now, defendant, what defence have you to this claim ? Ex-Attorney : I appear for defendant, your Honour. Unprotected Female : Oh, she knows I lent her a sovereign, three weeks ago ; look me in the face, Cummins. Judge : Set-off, eh ? Have you given five days' notice ? Unprotected Female : I only set off this morning to come to this court. But — Judge : Any notice, woman ? Attend to me. Usder : Any notice, woman ? Attend to 'is Honour — do. Ex-Attorney : Pray be cool, my dear madam. Have you given any notice ?* Unprotected Female (gazing from Usher to Judge, and from Judge to ex- Attorney) ; Yes, I advanced her a sovereign — to pay her rent, for she's very often in arrears, owing to her — Judge (losing his self-control) : Can't you answer a plain question ? (To ex- Attorney.) Leave the woman alone. Now, ma'am, attend to me, if you please. [The Unprotected Female makes an effort to do so.]] Usher (utterly discomposing her again) ; Now — attend to 'is Honour — woman— -do! Judge : If you have any defence of infancy, Statute of Limitation, .or set-off, you must give five days' notice, -by the rules of court — have you 1 A * Unprotected Female : I've no infants, sir, I'm a single woman. Judge : You can't plead a set-off — without notice. ' Unprotected Female : Ob, I set off this morning — I did indeed, sir. Judge (to ex-Attorney : Can't you explain to her the nature of a set-off ? [Ex- Attorney makes a vigorous but unsuccessful attempt.]] Judge : Then I'll adjourn the plaint till Saturday, to giVe you time to plead your setoff. Case adjourned, with costs of day. Unprotected Female (utterly ipewildertd) ; No — I'll never pay that fifteen-and-six — | Never ! [Solemnly makes a mental registration of her vow.] • Usher : Now, stand down. iCase' adjourn- ! cd. Don't you 'ear 'is Honour ? Case adjourned. Unpdotected Female : I'm' willing to do what is right. (Ex- Attorney adds his efforts to Usher's to get her down.) But having lent her that sovereign — Ob, Betsey Cummins — how could you ? [Executes pa_ntomime expressive of wondering disgust at Betsey Cummins.] Jndge : Case adjourned, don't you hear? Usher (threateningly) : Case adjourned ! ' Don't you hsar 'is Honour ? Ex- Attorney (coaxingly) : Case adjourned, my dear madam. Unprotected Female (resisting all efrorts at removal) tlJ^Jl^agsjejMMSjpjisi^^^^J