THE WOMEN'S CHARTER. [From Punch.]

New Zealand Spectator and Cook's Strait Guardian, Volume V, Issue 382, 31 March 1849, Page 4

THE WOMEN'S CHARTER. [From Punch.]

We believe in the speedy freedom of the female sex. That beautiful half of the creation — and, like the rosy side of a peach, the much better half — has too long been in bonds. The cunning, the selfishness, and the cowardice of man have, apart and together, operated for many thousand years to crush the lovely flower, or at best that he might wear it — as one may say, in his button-hole as little more than a fragrant, blooming ornament for a brief holiday. These days are fast going — dying upon the save-all of Time. At length women are beginning to know their own strength, at length the hour of equality is about to strike ; and when it has struck, the world will really for the first time know what's o'clock. The women, be it known then, have resolved upon a Charter ; a triple Charter, for Maid — Wife — and Widow. Each condition of life is to rest upon its seven points. At present, we are only enabled to give them : but we are happy to inform our readers (Women, of course) that a magnificent meeting has been determined upon ; it will take place in Kensington Gardens, under the very eye of the military — within the very smell of gunpowder — to show the world that Women, at least, are not afraid of soldiers. We have, as the earnest and uncompromising advocate both of the Rights of Woman, and of setting Woman to Rights, been fa-

vomred with a placard, printed in gold letters upon white satin (which placard it is our intention to have worked up into a waistcoat) : and of which the subjoined is an ink-and-pa-per copy :—: —

" WOMEN OF THE UNIVERSE ! "Since the first pippin was bitten, it has been the cunning of Man to talk to us of our duties. The time has now arrived that w« should speak of our rights ! " Why should the feast of the good things of this world be given to men —and why should we, like children after dinner, be only brought in with the desert ? " The hour is arrived when we should throw back the pippin in man's face ; wheu we should repudiate the dominion exercised so many thousand years to our subjection, —when women should have their Charter, full of points, like a pincushion. " Therefore, every woman —who is henceforth to be considered every woman's sister — is invited to hold herself in readiness to meet in Kensington Gardens on a day to be hereafter privately appointed. "As the enemy [it is needless further to particularize] may muster in great force, every sister is entreated to come armed ; yes, armed —to the teeth. She will therefore see it expedient to wear new bonnet strings, (if possible, a new bonnet). She must further not fail to dress in her best gown ; and further, to bring with her any bonnet or shawl that she may consider to have the most fatal effect upon the enemy! " Every woman will also provide herself with a serviceable parasol; which —for sharpshooting—is occasionally found of the most efficient use. " It is moreover expressly required of every single woman, and of every widow, that she do not appear upon the ground without bringing with her a stout substantial wedding-ring (with unmistakeable Hall-mark), to the effect that should the enemy attack us —the single captives may instantly be tried by martial law, and with the speediest benefit of clergy be condemned to a settlement for life. (A parson will be in attendance.)

" Women, —Be ready to appear in full dress (if possible) at six hours' notice. " P.S. No curl papers can be admitted to sororize.

•'the maid's charter. " I. That unlimited pocket money should begin at sixteen. "II That when, by the selfish neglect of the worst <part of the species — whom to name is often to blush — the question is not put, it shall be onerous upon the spinster to put the said question herself. " 111. That she shall be permitted to break off a match either at the beginning, the middle, or just at the end, with no liability for an Action for Breach. " IV. That no such indulgence be granted to the other party ; and that transportation be added to damages. "Y. That neither father nor mother be asked for consent, — except by way of compliment, when it is known they have no objection to the gentleman. " VI. That when marriage is solemnized, the Duke of Wellington shall give away the bride."

" THE WIFE'S CHARTER. •* I. That the Honeymoon shall last six months. " 11. That the amount of household expenses be fixed by her ; with an unlimited air lowance for extras. " 111. That she chooses the wateringplace for the season. " IV. That she be never called upon to sit up ; and further, that she be never solicited for a latch-key. "Y. That the husband invariably smoke in the garden, (if no garden, no smoke). " VI. That the Duke of Wellington be godfather to the first child."

" THE WIDOW'S CHARTER. '* I. That weeds — with the earliest despatch — be turned into oratige-flowers." The Widow's Charter, it will be perceived, is only one point ; but as that one is to possess all the points of a wife, her Charter may be said to aim at seven. Our readers will be glad to learn that the authorities are fully alive to the objects of the very dangerous individuals about to. collect their forces in Kensington Gardens. The Life Guards and Blues will be called out; and it is further said that the " Duke" — in his own quiet, energetic way — has ordered the Bands to keep the ground.