HOW I STOOD FOR THE DREEPDAILY BURGHS [From Blackwood's Magazine.] (Continued from our last.)

New Zealand Spectator and Cook's Strait Guardian, Volume V, Issue 331, 30 September 1848, Page 3

HOW I STOOD FOR THE DREEPDAILY BURGHS [From Blackwood's Magazine.] (Continued from our last.)

" Wheest, air, wheest J" cried the Provost in an agitated tone of voice. " Gudesake, tak care what ye say — ye dinna ken wha may hear ye. Ye hae spoken a word that I havena heard this mony a day without shaking in my shoon. -Ay speak ceevily of the dccvil — ye dinna ken how weel ye may be acquaint !" " Surely, sir, there can be do harm y\ mentioning the — " ~ " No under that name, Mr. Dunshunner — no under that name, and no here. I wadna ca' them that on the tap of Ben Nevis without a grue; — and sac They are wi' ye, are they ? ' Weel they are a quoer set ! " "You know the parties then, Mr. Binkie?" " I ken na mair about them than I ken whaur to find the caverns o' the east wind. Whether they are three or thretty or a hunder surpasses my knowledge, but they hae got the secret o' the fern seed, and walk about invisible : It's a'thegether a great mystery, but doubtless ye will obtain a glimpse. In the mean time since ye come from that quarter, I am bound to obey." " You are very kind, I am sure, Mr. Binkie. M»y I ask then your opinion of matters as they stand at present ?" " Our present member, Mr. "Whistlerigg, will not stand again. He's got someplace or ither up in London ; and certie, he's worked weel for it ! There's naebody else stannin' forbye that man Puzzlethwaite, and he disna verra weel ken what he is himsel'. If it's a* richt yonder," continued the Provost, jerking his thumb over his left shoulder, " ye're as gude as elected." As it would have been extremely impolitic for me under present circumstances to have disclaimed all connection with a body which exercised an influence so marked and decided, I allowed Provost Binkie to remain under the illusion that I was the chosen candidate of the Clique. In tact I had made up my mind that I should become so at any cost, so soon as it vouchsafed to disclose itself and appear before my longing eyes. I therefore launched at | once into practical details, in the discussion of which the Provost exhibited both shrewdness and good-will. He professed his readiness at once to become chairman of my committee, drew out a list of the most influential persons in the burgh to whom I ought immediately to apply, and gave me much information regarding the politics of the other places. From what be said, I gathered that, j with the aid of the Clique 1 was sure of Drrepdaily and Drouthielaw — as to the electors of Kittleweera, they were, in his opinion, " a wheen dirt," whom it would be useless to^ consult, and hopeless to conci iate. I certainly had no previous idea that the bulk of the electors had so little to say in the choice of their own representative. When I ventured to hint at the remote possibility of a revolt, the Provost indignantly exclaimed — " They daurna, sir — they daurna for the lives of them do it ! Set them up, indeed ! j Let me see ony man that wad venture to vote | against the Town Council and the — and them, and I'll make a clean sweep of him out of Dreepdaily !" Nothing in short could have been more satisfactory than this statement. * * * •» The Provost continued — " Just ac word mair. Promising is a cheap ihing, and ye needna be vera sparing of it. If o»y body speaks to ye about a gaugership, or a place in ttte Customs or the Post-office, just gie ye a bit wink, take out your note-book, and make a mark wit he keelavine pen. It aye looks weel, and gangs as far as a downright promise. Deny or refuse naebody. Let them think that ye can do everything wit he ministry ; and if there should happen to be a whaup in the rape, let them even find it out theirsells. Tell them that ye stand up for Dreepdaily and its auld charter, and the Whig constitution, and liberal principles. Maist feck o' them dinna ken what liberal principles is, but they like the word. I whiles think that liberal principles means saying muckle and doing naething, but you need na tell them that. The Whigs are lang-headed chiells, and they hae had the sense to claim a' the liberality to themsells, ever since the days o' the Reform Bill." Such and such-like were the valuable maxims which Provost Binkie instilled into |my mind during the progress of breakfast. I must say they made a strong impression upon me; 1 and any candidate who may hereafter come forward for the representation of a Scottish burgh, on principles similar to my own, would do well to pursue and remember them. At length I rose to go. * * * ♦ Directed by the Provost's list, I set forth in search of my constituency. The first elector

whose shop I entered was a draper of the name of M'Auslan. I found him in the midst of his tartans. " Mr. M'Auslan, I presume ?" "Ay," was the curt response. "Allow me to introduce myself, sir. My name is Dunsbunner." " Oh." " You are probably aware, sir, that I am a candidate for the representation of these burghs ?" "Ay." " I hope and trust, Mr. M'Auslan, tl.at my principles are such as meet with your approbation V* " May be." " I ara a friend, sir, to civil and religious liberty,-^— to Dreepdaily and its charter, — to the old Whig constitution of 1688, — and to the true interests of the people." " Weel V " Confound the fellow !" thought I, "was there ever such an insensate block ? I must bring him to the point at once. Mr. .M'Auslan," I continned in a very insinuating tone, " such being my sentiments, may I venture to calculate on your support ?" " There's twa words to that bargain," replied Mr. M'Auslan, departing from mono* syllables. " Any further explanation that may be required, I am sure, I will readily " " It's nae use," " How ?" said I, a good deal alarmed. "Is it possible you are already pledged ?" " No." " ' - " Then what objection ?" " I made nane, I see ye dinnaken us here. The pear's no ripe yet." " What pear ?" asked I, astonished at this | horticultural allusion. " Hark ye," said M'Auslan, looking stealthily around him, and for the first time exhibiting some marks of intelligence in his features — " Hark ye, — hae ye seen Toddy Tarn yet?" " Mr. Gills ? Not yet. lam just going to wait upon him ; but Provost Binkie has promised me his support." " Wha cares for Provost Binkie ! Gang to Todd> Tarn." Not one other word could I extract from the oracular M'Auslan ; so, like a pilgrim, I turned my face towards Mecca, and sallied forth in quest of this all-important personage. On my way, however, I entered the house of another voter, one Shanks, a member of the Town Council, from whom I received equally unsatisfactory replies. He, like M'Auslan, pointed steadily towards Toddy Tarn. Now, who and what was the individual who, by the common consent of his townsmen, had earned so honourable an epithet ? Mr. Thomas Gills had at one time been a clerk in the office of the departed Linklater. His function was not strictly legal, nor confined to the copying of processes : it had- a broader and wider scope, and was exercised in a more congenial manner. In short, Mr. Gills was a kind of provider for the establishment. His duties were to bunt out business, which be achieved to a miracle by frequenting every J possible public-house, and wringing from* them amidst their cups, the stories of the wrongs of his compotors. Wo to the wight who sat down for an afternoon's conviviality with Toddy Tarn ! Before the mixing of the fourth tumbler, the ingenious Gills was sure to elicit some hardship or grievance, for which benignant Thomas could give redress ; and rare indeed was the occurrence of the evening on which, he did not capture some additional clients. He would even go the length of treating his victim, when inordinately shy, until the fatal mandate was given, and- retraction utterly impossible. Such decided business talents, of course, were not overlooked by the sagacious Laurence Linklater. Gills enjoyed a large salary, the greater moiety of which he consumed in alcoholic experiments ; and shortly -before the decease of his patron, be was promoted to the lucrative and easy office of some county registrarship. He now began to cultivate conviviality for its own especial sake. It was no longer dangerous to drink with him ; for though, from habit, he continued to poke into grievances, he never, on the following morning, pursued the subject further. But what was most remarkable about Toddy Tarn was his independence. He never truckled to dictation from any quarter ; but whilst Binkie and the rest were in fear- and terror at the Clique, he openly defied that body, and dared them to do their worst. He was the only man in Dreepdaily who ventured to say that Tom Gritts was right in the motion he made, and he further added, that if he, Thomas Gills, had been in the Town Council, the worthy and patriotic baker should not have wanted a seconder. This was considered a very daring speech, and one likely to draw down the vengeance of the unrelenting junta ; but the thunder sept in the cloud, and Mr. Gills enjoyed himself as before. 1 found him in his back parlour in company with a very rosy individual. Although it wai

not yet noon, j& case bottle and glasses were qd the table, and the whole apartment stunk abominably with the fumes of whisky. " Sit in, Mr. Dunshonner, .sit in !" said Toddy Tarn, in a tone of great cordiality, after I had effected my introduction. " Yell no hae had your morning yet? Lass, bring in a clean glass for the gentleman." " I hope you will excuse me, Mr. Gills, I really never do — " " Hoots — nonsense ! Ye maun be neigh-bour-like, ye ken — we a* expect it at Dreepdaily." And so saying, Toddy Tarn poured me out a full glass of spirits. I had as lieve have swallowed ink, but I was forced to constrain myself and bolt it. " Ay, and so ye are coming round to us as a candidate, are ye ? What d'ye think o' that Mr. Thomson — hae ye read Mr. Dunshunnsr's address ?" The rubicund individual chucked, leered, and rose to go, but Toddy Tarn laid a heavy hand upon his shoulder. - " Sit ye down, man," he said ; " I've naething to say to Mr. Dunshunner that the hail warld may not hear ; nor him to me neither, I hope." " Certainly not, 1 ? said 1 ; " and I really should feel it as a great obligation if Mr. Thomson would be kind enough to remain." . " That's right, lad ! shouted Gills, " Nae hole-and-corner work for me ! A' fair and abune board, and the deil fly away with the Clique !" Had Thomson been an ordinary man he probably would have grown pale at this daring objurgation : as it was, he fidgetted in his chair, and his face became a shade more crimson. " Weel, now," continued Toddy Tarn, " let us hear what Mr. Dunshunner has got to say for himsel'. There's naething like hearing opinions before we put ony questions." Thus abjured, 1 went through the whole of my political confession of faith, laying, of course, due stress on the great and glorious Revolution of 1688, and my devotion to the cause of liberality. Toddy Tarn and his companion heard me to the end without interruption. "Gude — sac far gude, Mr. Dunshunner," said Gills, " I see little to object to in your general principles ; but for a' that I'm no going to pledge mysel' until I ken mair o' ye. I hope that there has been nae communings with the Clique, a body that I perfectly abominate! Dreepdaily shall never be made a pocket burrow, so long as Thomas Gills has any influence in it." I assured Mr. Gills what was the naked truth, that I had no kuowledge whatever of the Clique. "Ye see, Mr. Dunshunner," continued Toddy Tarn, "we are a gey and independent sort of people here, and we want to be independently represented. My good friend, Mr. Thomson here, can tell you that I have had a sair fecht against secret influence, and I am amaist feared that some men like the Provost owe me A grudge for it. He's a pawkie loon, the Provost, and kens brawley how to play his cards." "He's a' that!" ejaculated Thomson. " But I dinna care a snuff o' tobacco for the hail of the Town Council or the Clique. Give me a man of perfect independence, and I will support him ; I voted for the last member sair against my conscience, for he was put up by the Clique, and never came near ufs ; but I hope better things frae you, .Mr. Dunshunner, if you should happen to be returned. Mind, I dcn't say that lam going to support ye — I maun think about it ; but if ye are a good man and a true, and no a nominee, I dare say both my gude friend Thomson and mysel' will no objeck to lend you a helping hand." Tt.is was all I could extract from Toddy Tarn, and, though favourable, it was far from being satisfactory. There was a want, from some cause or another, of that cordial support which I had been led to anticipate ; and I almost felt half inclined to abandon the enterprise altogether. However after having issued my address, this would have looked like cowardice. I therefore diligently prosecuted my canvass, and contrived, in the course of the day, to encounter a great portion of the electors. Very few pledged themselves. Some surly independents refused point-blank — alleging that they did not intend to vote at all : others declined to promise, until they should know how Toddy Tarn and other magnates were likely to go. My only pledges were from the sworn retainers of the Provost. ♦ • • ♦ • Mysie was the bearer of a billet, addressed to myself, and marked " private and particular." I opened it and read as follows :—: — Sir, — Some of those 'who are well disposed towards you have arranged to meet this night, and are desirous of a private interview at which full and mutual explanations may be given. It may be right to mention to you that the question of the currehcy will form the basis of any political arrangement ; and it is expected that you will then be prepared to. jtale expli-

citly your views with regard, to, bullion. Something more than pledges upon this subject will be required. As the meeting will be a strictly private one, the utmost secrecy must be observed. Be on the bridge at eleven o'clock this night, and you will be conducted to the appointed place. Do not fail as you value your own interest. Yours, etc. Shell Out. "Who brought this letter, Mysie?" said I, considerably flustered at its conteuts. " A laddie. He said there was nae answer, and ran awa."