LADIES' LOGIC.

New Zealand Spectator and Cook's Strait Guardian, Volume IV, Issue 291, 13 May 1848, Page 4

LADIES' LOGIC.

There is as much difference between Logic Proper and Ladies' Logic as there is between a Polka-Pelisse and a Macintosh. For supposing, as ladies, we believe, generally suppose, all Logic to be stuff, Logic Proper is one kind of stuff, and Ladies' Logic another kind of stuff. The essence of Logic Proper is, the Syllogism ; which consists of three parts, the Major, the Minor, and the Conclusion. Now in Ladies 9 Logic all Majors are out of the question but Majors in the army, and no attention is paid to Minors unless they are likely to come into property. The Major and Minor terms of a Syllogism are called Premises. The premises of Ladies' Logic are such premises as Mr. George Robins talks of. Logical premises ought to contain the conclusion ; but Ladies' premises contain little but trinkets and needlework. The following will serve as an example of a syllogism, according to the rules of Logic Proper ; that is to say, of proper Logic : — Major. " Every man who lives beyond his means is a fool." Minor. " I should be a man who lived beyond his means if I kept a carriage and pair." Conclusion. " Therefore, if I kept a carriage and pair I should be a fool." The syllogism in Ladies' Logic is much simpler ; as thus :—: — Minor. " Mrs. Dashington's husband keeps a carriage." Conclusion. " Therefore my husband ought to keep a carriage." In this instance we see that the first term, or major, is dispensed with ; so that, in fact, the major is a. minor consideration. This is a very convenient sort of logic ; because the only correct major in the ab#ve instance wouJ4 be as f6l\ovfß : — , ,

" Whatever Mrs. Washington's husband doe?, mine ought to do." Now this i? a Major that many husbands would object to. As it is, they can only question the conclusion. As : — " Why ought I to keep a carriage because Mrs. Dashington's husband does ?" To which the (lady's) logical answer is, " Why ? why of course." " Well, but," says the husband, '• I don't see that." " Then," replies the wife, " you must be blind." There 's nothing so sharp as woman's wit. She decidedly has him there. There is another kind of syllogism in Ladies' Logic which consists but of one proposition. For example : " I don't like your friend Mr. Wilkins at all, William." " Why not, my dear ?" " Because he is so disagreeable." That is to say, " Because V don't like him." The following are examples of syllogisms, according to the most approved rules of Ladies' Logic :—: — Intemperance is horrible, therefore it is dreadful. Swearing is ungentlemanlike, therefore it is vulgar. That young man is talented, therefore he is cleyer. One peculiarity in the chain of reasoning constituting Ladies' Logic is, that the links of it are generally invisible. But there is a reply with which the ladies silence, if not satisfy, all objectors — " Oh ! what a stupid you must be !"' — Cruickshank's lable Book.

Letter from a French Governess to an English Lady. — Thousand thanks, my dear Miss, for all your goodnesses — I you assure that I feel myself quite obliged by your amiability, so touching and so attendering. How you were good for me procure the situation of instructrice, to the minds tenders of the youth! The childs of Miladi Bull, who are confided to my cares, are of a beauty dazzling, and of a nature cx traoi dinar ily drav.-ing-towards. How lam rejoiced, that the cares of the tenderest of the mothers have rendered me capable of to instruct the littles strangers, in every branch of an education exalted; because I feel myself that I speak and write your tongue well as an Englishe. Helas! my best friend: sometimes I am not capable to repress my anger, at cause of the stupidity of the childs. Yesterday, I could not arrive to make the little Bulls feel any difference for say dessus and dessous, — which are so unlike as possible. I say — "Ah, how you are beast;" forgetting you tell me that " comme tons dies b&e" mean "how you are stupid." Miladi Bull bear me ; and flinging herself into an anger frightening. These little Bulls are engaging to marvels; but, as to Miladi, I must open the heart for you in this paper friendly. Miladi Bull is 'quite unpolished; ill-honest; starch, and not drawing-towards. She me stops from to sing, when she is present ; she me defends from to wear some slippers, or some paper curls to the hair ; and she me forces to be dressed in great toilette, at eight hours of the morning. She say that read cabbage is in vary bad taste; it must say greens — at cause of the colour. We had the week last some ctbbage, some peas Prussian, and some cabbage flowers. She ask me, " will you some greens ? I look to the colour of the pe»s Prussian, and say, "I should prefer some these blues;" when she laugh of a manner horribly unpolished, but without me tell that which I say bad. Then I thought she had want of some cabbage flower ; and, as I could not say green blossoms, I say, "will you some yellow, Miladi ? She laugh again to the clatters.. I pray you, my dear Miss, to tell me that which I have ill-said. Before yesterday, I was read the romance Redgauntlet of Walter, (that man of the genius) when Miladi Bull enters ; and making the great eyes, she says " you not read — you mind childs always. Bring me two quills, and the canary. You forget to water the plants." I regard the flowers ; see their blossoms tenders quite past from the ardour of the sun, and their heads elegants leaning with, the indisposition. I melted all into tears at my negligence. (That Walter is witch.) I pour some water in the souls thirsting and fainting of the flowers ; then I look in dictionaries for quill. I find "plume " — and run to Sir John. "Have the complaisance, sir, for give me two quills; and say me where is Canary ? (Sir John is more honest in his manners, and always says to me "my dear.") He answer, — "My dear, Ca-, nary is large island." Helas ! what for Miladi make me a ridicule, for me send to carry a large island I Miladi goes to, a large evening yesterday ; and while she herself dress, she me send fqr ribbon* far her wajist. She not like that which I bring ; and say at me—" The ribbon shall be watered ; and quill this lace on my dress." X take the dres», and think she have want to have it garnished with feathers, as I find quill mean "plume," I sew the lace, and «dd feajhers very gentille, and I make ribbon wet with sponge ; X think fat oatke it

fit close to the waist. Oh, la! she herself threw into an anger frightening ; and say at me, that quill mean "trizeav" — and ribbon watered mean ribon moire. The girls — dear make me to see a cat and her littles. I say — r-" Oh the cat superb, with her little*! — Oh the genteels small beasts!" They ask at me, "what will you say by htr littles ?"-~r" 1 wish to say 'scspetits;' the little childs of the cat, my loves." The littles Bull laugh to the tears even ; and then say that little cats not named childs nor genteels. Sir John say at me — "My dear, you say gentille in French ; that is nice in English ; and my naughty girls laugh, because you say 'genteel small beasts' instead of nice little animals." To-day we expect some world to dinner ; and I myself arranged to marvel in s gown rose, and capped in a cap of blue tendre, garnished with buttons of roses, and teeth of wolf, and ears of bare in satin. I pass my lady near; and she say at me in anger, " what a dash you cut ! you are like a merry Andrew, or Jack Pudding." I pray you Miss, for tell me who are these gentlemen ; MM. John Pudding and Andrew, whom she name Gay ? also, what she mean by cutting a dash. At dinner she cut a large rosbif; and I say "Miladi, you are good dissecter!" — She laugh, (she always laugh, that woman there,) and say " not dissecter, but carver." 1 do not like her contradict, but I know well that carver will be in French sculpteur ; so I say only, " thank you, Miladi, I ignoranted that; and she laugh again. It was there some ladies at dinner, who ask of me if I love the music. I say, "Oh yes ! I love that dear music to the folly. We had a music charming to the bosom of our family. My sister, oldest, can touch delightfully ; my sister, young, pinches of a manner quite extraordinary ; and I have a brother, who gives of a style astonishing." The lady clattered with laugh. (Ma foi ! the English are very unpolished.) Then she say, " what you mean by say one touches, another pinches, and a third gives, in speaking of the music ? I answer, "we others French say always * touch the piano, pinch the harp, and give of the horn.' My family all very strongs." She say " what for you say very strongs." I tell her, " we French say always very strong musicians, when one plays very well." Oh, my dear, I you pray me procure an emplacement otherwise. Miladi Bull has put me to the door ; and for such little of thing also ! Know dear Miss, that lam of a family very good ; and that our house at Paris j (like the house of all the nobles) was called after our name " Hotel de la Roche." When the woman of chambers attached my robe before dinner, I say at her — " Oh ! Mary wbat number infinite of domestics I have seen at the hotel of my Papa !" She laugh (everybody laugh at me, I think ;) and she say — " your Papa keep an hotel ! Miladi Papa keep an hotel also ; very large." Eh ! well ! at dinner I say, " Miladi, where is the hotel that Mr. your Father keep ? and how you call it ?" She answer not, and make mien to not hear me ; but her neck redded, and 1 suppose she some person low, and her family have no hotel ! After the dinner, come the servant to my chamber and say — "Here is your money Miss! Go directly; as you got into a scrape with Miladi, about the hotel." When that she go, I look into the dictionary for get into a scrape ; and all I find is monter dans un grotter. So if you find another emplacement for me, say at the same wbat is " get into a scrape." And believe me always, in the devotion entire and gratitude eternal, of Your passionately attached AN AST ASIA. DE LA ROCHE. [The expression lauyh to clatters is, we suppose, a literal rendering of lire aux 4clats\ a phrase commonly used to denote obstreporous laughter. The teeth of wolf, and ears of hare, we leave to the better knowledge of our fair readers.] — Syd. Morn. Herald.