NURSERY RHYME. THE STORY OF THE REPEAL OF THE CORN LAWS, "SUITED TO THE MEANEST CAPACITY." [From Punch.]

New Zealand Spectator and Cook's Strait Guardian, Volume III, Issue 136, 18 November 1846, Page 4

NURSERY RHYME. THE STORY OF THE REPEAL OF THE CORN LAWS, " SUITED TO THE MEANEST CAPACITY." [From Punch.]

There was a lady who had 24,000,000 babies, and she wanted to get cheap bread (or them, but she could not, because of the Corn Law, So she went to the Tories, and she ■ said, — " Tories, Tories, desert the Lords: the Lords won't repeal the law ; and I* cannot get cheap bread lor my babies," Then the Tories said to her, Madam, we have no objection to eat dirt; we do it every day; but at present we are under the orders of the Duke." So she went to the Duke, and she said, — " Duke, Duke, order the Tories : the Tories won't desert the Lords ; the Lords won't repeal the law ; and I cannot get cheap bread for my babies." Then the Duke said to her, "F. M. the Dnke of Wellington is Commander-in-Chief of the army, but he is neither a maltster nor a miller. All communications to his Grace must be made through Sir Robert Peel." So she went to Sir Robert Peel, and she said, — "Peel, Peel, speak to the Duke ; the Duke won't order the Tories ; the Tories won't desert the Lords ; the Lords won't repeal the law; and I cannot get cheap food for my babies." Then Peel said, " the Tories brought me in, I know, but I should like to rat and cut the snobs. However, as yet, there is no pressure from without, there's no great fact to frighten me." So she went to look for a great fact; and she heard a voice, saying to her, " I am ready to come to your help, if you will only get somebody to form a League, and call me into notice. There's Richard Cobden." So she went to Richard Cobden, and she said— "Cobden, Cobden, form a League; the League will soon become a fact; but there's no fact yet to frighten Peel, and Peel won't speak to the Duke; the Duke won't order the Tories ; the Tories won't desert the Lords ; the Lords won't repeal the law; and I cannot get cheap bread for my babies." Then Cobden began to form the League; the League began to become a fact: the fact began to frighten Peel; Peel began to speak to the Duke; the Duke began to order the Tories; the Tories began to desert the Lords ; the Lords set to to repeal the law; and so the little lady got cheap bread for her babies. A Learned Mayor. —Lord Mansfield, when on the circuit at Shrewsbury, having been asked to dinner by the Mayor of the town, his Lordship observing an antique clock in the room, remarked to the Mayor, " that he supposed Sir John Falstaff fought by that clock," to which the Mayor replied, " He could not tell, for he had not the pleasure of knowing Sir John." Lord Mansfield then tried his host on another subject, and remarked, " that the town appeared very old," to which the Mayor replied, " it vas always so,

please your Lordship." Friends and Enemies.—While we value the praise of our friends, we should not despise the censures of our enemies; as from the malice of the latter we frequently learn our faults, which the partiality of the former lead them to overlook or conceal.

Traits of American Manners.—Americans have no sort of objection to sleeping in the plural number, a habit so repugnant to an Englishman's ideas ; and, unless a very sharp look-out is kept, and the doors locked, the waiters will, to a certainty, show a bed-fellow to your room,- should the house be full. A

proceeding not to be submitted to, and Jonathan, dreadfully disgusted, goes off, swearing at the " Britisher's" pride. Eiven in our own provinces the same annoyance occurs. Once, when driving my sleigh on a journey through one of them, I had halted for the night, and fearing, from the numbers of people and the scarcity of beds, that some attempt might be made upon mine, I took the precaution to have my bed made on the floor with my buffalo skins. It had not been made long, however, before I heard a fellow contFmplating the snugness of its appearance, and, wilh the greatest sang froid thus soliloquizing : — " I guess I'll turn in with that chap : that bed looks almighty comfortable." I soon undeceived him in his pleasant anticipation, on which he called to a friend in an adjoining closet, " Well, then, 1 guess, I'll turn in to you, we've often slept together before." They both held hij>h situations in the province. — ColburrCs Magazine.

Canine Jealousy. — Mr. Charles Davis, huntsman of her Majesty's stag hounds, informed me that " a friend of his had a fine Newfoundland dog, who was a great favourite with the family. While this dog was confined in the yard, a' pet lamb was given to one of the children, and which the former soon discovered to be sharing a great portion of those caresses which he had been in the habit of receiving. This circumstance prcduced so great an effect on the poor animal that he fretted, and became extremely unwell, and refused to eat. Thinking that exercise might be of use to him, he was let loose. No sooner was this done, than the dog watched his opportunity, and sized the lamb in his mouth. He was seen conveying it down a lane, about a quarter of a mile from his master's house, at the bottom of which the river Thames flowed. On arriving at it, he held the lamb under water till it was drowned, and thus effectually got rid of his rival. On examining the lamb, it did not appear to have beeu bitten or otherwise injured ; and it might almost be supposed that the dog had chosen the easiest death in removing the object of his dislike." — Jesses Anecdotes of Dogs.

"To Fine Young Men." — As it is the Archbishop of Canterbury who draws the thanns giving prayers (or the successful slaughter of the enemy, may we ask, is it the chaplains of regiments who write the recruiting bills, j^attered throughout the country, to catch the eye of the ' fine young man V One of these compositions, recently put forth at Gloucester, is now before us. There is a truthfulness in the promises held out — and indeed, a pictnresqueness of painting, that do the highest credit to the morals of the author, whether the thing be written on drumhead or a pulpitcushion. For instance, when the 'fine young men' — like eels bobbed for, are caught by the shilling, they are immediately 1 taught the art of riding, driving, fencing, gunnery and the mechanics; the making and use of gunpowder, skyrockets, and ocher lire-works ' The allusion to skyrockets and other fire- works shows the hand of the master. The author, subtilly, knowingly, touches on schoolboy recollections — on those fifth of November days when fire- works were precious to the juvenile. We subjo'n a few^f the advantages offered to 1 the gunners' (for so artillerymen are styled) Here they are :—: — ' They are lodged in the finest barracks in the world ! They have light work and good pay, the best beef that Kent can afford, and a comfortable place in the barracks called the canteen, set apart for them to see their friends in, and take a cheerful glass ; also a splendid library and reading-room, a park and pleauregrounds, with a select number of horses for their instruction and amusement. After their education is completed, they will have all opportunity afforded them to travel to foreign countries, where they may drink their wine at at twopence per bottle, by the new tariff!' These, it must owned, are many agreeable advantages, and yet, with a modesty peculiar to recruiting sergeants, he of the upper George Inn, Gloucester, has said nothing of the box at the opera, and the Mowbray bounds, always at the service of the gunners. But perhaps the sergeants did not wish to tell the fine young men all that was in store for them. After (it is not said how many) years' service, the recruits are promised they shall 'return to see their friends,' (balls, bullets, and bayonets permitting,) ' with money, manners, and experience/ the last advantage, doubt, warranted. — Punch.