Odds and Ends.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 233, 26 February 1876, Page 3

Odds and Ends.

“ Wasting Away.”— Miss Lucy Lanky, of Ohio, aged 12, is 44 inches round the waist, and weight 395 pounds. A scientific paper says : ’ Keep your mirrors away from the sun, ” —“ And from the daughters also if you can.” „ A Georgia editor offers to dress Ins paper m mourning for the death of anybody, where mourners can pay 10 dollars. . Matilda R. Cross— Cairo—single woman—weighs 422 pounds—says she wants some one to love her for herself alone. The American Rochefoucauld says— Contentment is said to be better than riches, but the latter is good enough for me.” , ... “ You look as fine as a hired girl, is now about the greatest compliment that can be paid a young lady in the rural districts of America. . . Fashionable young lady, detaching her hair before retiring—“ What dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil!” . . . At an auction sale of wax figures m Memphis, Henry Ward Beecher brought 17 dollars, Theodore Tilton 13 dollars, and Mrs Tilton 5 dollars. “ Yesterday afternoon,” says a paper, Miss - was borne to the cemetery before a large concourse of grieving men, women, and vehicles.’ The American Rochefoucauld says : V here your vision terminates, does not insanity begin there, and the world’s end clearly disclose itself—‘“For want of water,” said an Italian, “I am forced to drink water ; if I had water, I would drink wine.” He kept a vineyard, and the drought had killed his vines. . ... „ „ Near Weymouth is an mu bearing the name Ihe Silent Woman.” The sign bears the picture of a woman without a head. There are those who consider this a capital joke. . , “A maiden’s heart,” says the American Rochefoucauld, “is like a hotel bed, you may never discover the previous occupant, but you may be sure there has been one.” 4. provincial “daily” mentions an “infernal meeting of certain clergymen. The word intended was “ informal,” but the compositor said the copy was bad, and how should he know ? Do You Wink ?—A Tennessee girl, riding on the cars crossed the aisle, kicked a young man up against the window, and remarked, “I was brung up never to allow a yaller-haired man wink at me !” . “No one can tell what a day will bring us. This philosophy is from the American Rochefoucauld, after Madame American Rochefoucauld had presented him with three. The philosopher had provided an outfit for one. Imitation. —Here is a puff indeed : Mr the distinguished decorative painter (see advertising column), informs his patrons that his imitation of hardwood is superior to the natural article ; the latter, for instance, being yellow oak, his yellow ochre. The new Diagonal Waltz is said to possess remarkable mathematical beauties. The stage directions are :—Begin at the top of the last line forming the letter W, and complete the letter without turning your partner ; back and advance diagonally at an angle of about 45 degrees. Meanwhile hug your partner as close as she will permit, and project your elbow at an acute angle into the chest of any awkward fellow who is getting too near.

To Widows. —In Texas there is a farm of 4500 acres, which i 3 enclosed by one fence and cultivated by thirty-two owners, every one of whom is married. The Detroit Free Press has heard that a certain woman is writing a lecture on “Woman’s Duties,” and cruelly suggests that her first duty is to burn the manuscript. In North Siam when they go to law, our Consul tells us, tliey have “ a curious custom.” Both parties to the suit are put under water, and whoever remains there longest wins the case. With us the custom is different. Both parties being in hot water are kept there without reference to the right on either side. “ How do you get up your sermons ?” asked some one of Mr Moody. His reply was, “For a number of years I have kept large envelopes marked, say ‘Blood,’ ‘Heaven,’ ‘Faith,’ &c., and everything I hear or meet with on any of these subjects I make a note of in these envelopes. After some time I have material enough in one of these envelopes for three or four sermons. People sometimes speak of me taking four or five months to prepare a sermon ; it takes me four or five years.” Fancy that such a thing could be burnt in a minute. There is no balm left in Gilead sufficiently powerful to heal the lacerated feelings of the young lady whose patent aerated rubber bustle burst on Sunday in Trinity Church, San Francisco, during the sermon. She is like Rachel weeping for her children and will not be comforted. The noise was bad enough, but to have to walk down the aisle all flat was too much for a sensitive young creature to bear, and she fainted into the arms of the editor of the San Francisco News Letter, who, in recognition of her beauty, thus records the circumstance. American Advertising. The newest style of cheap advertising was produced recently at Terre Haute. A child of nine began to cry terribly at the corner of a street till the crowd grew larger and larger. Nothing would he say till it became larger stil), when at last he called out quite loudly, so that all might hear, that they might take him home to “19 Avenue Road, at Smith, the bootmaker’s, who had recently received a fresh importation of kid shoes from Paris, at from ten to fifteen dollars a pair.” A Woman’s Promise. —Henry Carey, a cousin to Queen Elizabeth, after having enjoyed Her Majesty’s favor several years, lost it in the following manner : As he was walking in the garden of the palace under the Queen’s window she asked him, in jocular manner : “ What does a man think when he is thinking of nothing ?” “ Upon a woman’s promise,” he replied. “ Well done, cousin?” said Elizabeth. Some time after he solicited the honor of a peerage, and reminded the Queen that she had promised it to him. “ True ! ” said she, “but that was a woman’s promise.” The Toronto National thus concludes a notice of a visit to Barnum’s travelling circus : —“ On the whole, we were well pleased with the show. And, blessed be Creation, there was no clown. Our heart bounded with joy when we gathered this important fact from the programme. The performance concluded with a balloon ascent in which several members of the Toronto press, took part. We are as yet unaware of where they came down, but hope they were as well taken care of as the Hamilton gentlemen a few days ago. They have gone nearer heaven, however, than they will again, at least unless the prospect stimulates them to much-needed reform.” A Lady’s Age. —Mademoiselle Mars, who died in 1847, was an actress whose reputation kept her on the stage rather too long. She was one of those women who are never willing to acknowledge that they can grow old. One day, when she was about fifty, she was summoned to some trial.—“l am obliged to ask your age, mademoiselle ? said the magistrate. “ Thirty-two, monsieur,” answered the delicious voice of the actress. The magistrate bowed gallantly. But it happened that five or six years after she had to prosecute a servant who had stolen some jewels, and appeared before the same magistrate, who was obliged to ask her the same, question. —“ Still thirty-two ! ” replied the illustrious young lady. In Africa, according to Dr Robert Brown, the birth of twins is commonly regarded as an evil omen. No one except the twins themselves and their nearest relatives is allowed to enter the hut in which they first saw the light. The children are not allowed to play with other children, and even the utensils of the hut are not permitted to be used by any one else. The mother is not allowed to talk to any one not belonging to her own family. If the children both live to the end of the sixth year it is supposed that Nature has accommodated herself to their existence, and they are thenceforth admitted to association with their fellows. Nor is this abomination of twins restricted to Africa. In the Island of Bali, near Java, a woman who is so unfortunate as to bear twins is obliged, along with her husband, to live for a month at the seashore or among the tombs, until she is purified. Among the Ainos, one of the twins is always killed, and in Arebo, in Guinea, both twins and the mother are put to death. Mark Twain and Josh Billings are, it is not generally know, twins by the same mother, and, unfortunately, they were not born at Ainos. A Well-known Character, —The following anecdote has just turned up of old Doctor Strong, of Hartford. On one occasion he had invited a young minister to preach for him, who proved a rather dull speaker, and was unusually long. The people became wearied, and as Dr Strong lived near the bridge, about the time for the commencement of the afternoon service he saw his people flocking in great numbers across the river to the other church. He readily understood that they should hear the same young man in the afternoon. Gathering up his wits, which generally came at his bidding, he said to the young minister, “My brother across the river is very feeble, and I know he will take it kindly to have you preach to his people, and if you will do so I will give you a note to him, and he will be as much obliged to you as I would to have you preach for me, and I want you to preach the same sermon you preached to my people this morning.” The young minister, supposing this to be a commendation of his sermon, started off in good spirits, delivered his note, and was invited to preach most cordially. He saw before him one-half of Dr. Strong’s people, and they had come to listen one hour and a half to the_same dull, humdrum sermon they had heard in the morning. They understood the joke, however, and said they would never undertake to run away from Dr. Strong again.