It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume VI, Issue 287, 30 December 1905, Page 22

It is Town Talk

That there is a lab of talk now-a-days about 'clean" sport. Swimming, we suppose. —That Taranaki cricket pitches aTe being spread with Bulli soil. Bulk soil is expected to grow cricketers. —That New Plymouth rejoiced that through the Christmas season everybody—except the policeman— had lots to do. —That the church-bolls in several New Zealand towns "rang out A muffled peal" when that footoball defeat oame through. —That Auckland Hospital has one official to every "patient and a-halr. A "half-patient" is good in connection with the surgery ward. —That the local resident who received a Christmas pad-eel endorsed It not delivered, please advise us, tells us it came from Ireland. —That vie New Zealand-Oxford University match was the funniest of the season. Mr. A. L. Sloper-probably "Ally," the F.O.M.— refereed. —That on a recent Saturday, there were no police cases in Auckland, a record for nine years. Auckland gets more like Wellington every year. —That the New Zealand 1 footballers play "all France" on January Ist. A bit tough to pit fifteen poor little colonials against forty-five mill-on Gauls. —That a Hawke's Bay firm have signed a contract for "burning papa. Perhaps, papa hadn't got enough 'rocks." Maybs mamma wtfl escape. —That when one raadis in the ''Times'^ the startling heading "Cadet shooting, one naturally smells blood. The "Times" doesn't always mean What it says. —That there is no hotel at Days Bay, but on Boxing Day some beardless youths from this side, provided a hoggish spectacle for several thousand people in that festive spo^ —That the idiotic way in. which the City Council tars the footpaths is firstclass business for the carpet-dealers. Sensible people never think of walking on the footpaths now. —That the chief excuse of our friends the Home footballers for their defeats is that the country plays "soccer. Next year New Zealand ought to send a "soccer" team Home. —That Tourist Commissioner Donne's theory that Waimangu only wants its basin washed out to induce it to play again may be a good on©, but it wall be a plucky sculleryman. who will undertake the job. — That the British press notes, with amused surprise, that there are no social distinctions among the New Zealand footballers. These extraordinary colonials have even sat at the same table and dined together. — That Arthur Adams' heroic effort to be cheerful in his Christmas "Times" article still showed the canker at the heart of the rose. Too many funeral poems and girls who don't love you are not cheery circumstances. — That the tradesmen must have had booming times last week. So numerous were the Savings Bank withdrawals on Friday and Saturday that an hour's wait for your turn was no uncommon incident. Everybody was on the buy. That one of the funniest things about the sudden southerly showers of Friday last was the way the watercart man shut off his shower and galloped the horses for the Corporation yards. He retired beaten at a cup pace. — That a private cable has been received stating that New Zealand scored two tries against Wales, but that the referee disallowed bath. Hence perhaps the deadlock over the New Zealanders' refusal to stand another Welsh referee. — That a Prohibitionist calls for the prosecution of Mr. Guinness, Speaker of the House, for addressing electors from the balcony of an hotel after licensed hours! There used to be adequate provisions made for the treatment of public scolds. — That Messrs. Penty and Blake are putting up a bis; record in winning awards for competitive designs. The workmen's homes competition is a case in point. Two of their desiorn? equal first for the North Island £100. Another of their designs ties for the South Island £100, and' vet another ties for the Nortfh Island £50.

—That B. B. Kiernan, Australia's champion swimmer, just dead at Brisbane, established the latest record tor the 500 yds swim, 6 mm 7&ec. —That Christmas cheer proved too potent for fifteen individuals* on Christmas Day. The colonial Robert had to put them to bed — each in his little cell. —That Day's Bay is no longer the only Mecca of the Wellington holiday crowd. Surely the Island Bay "nine-pounoVa-footers' " will bump the price of land up after seeing the myriads of holiday-makers on Boxing Day! —That the festive fruiterer, plain or coloured, Christian or heathen, insisted on his "pound of flesh" at Christmastime. Anybody would think New Zealand was <a vast desert, to which f ruat had to be packed on camels a thousand miles. — That several' correspondents want to know if the 'Tost" intended to cast reflections on the local pork dealers in its holiday supplement. Thus- — "For many years one never saw ai King Charles spaniel as a woman's darling — the pug, the 1 poodle, the terrier, or even the knowing little foxy being mostly chosen for a pot." As a Christmas "pot" we prefer commonplace bullock.

— That, the nimble shilling and the agile tanner flew faster and; more frequent this Christmas-tide than ever before. Santa Claus got in his full share. — That the demand for cream is abnormal this week. Old Sol played havoc with complexions on. Christmas and Boxing Days. Ma,ny of the feminine variety are now undergoing renovation., — Thiat a lady has been, summoned for assault. She attacked a woman m church on Christmas Day, and scratched her. The woman was a milliner who hadn't sent her holiday hat home in time. Justifiable. — That the confessions of a Christmas chemist would be humorous reading just now. To cope with the Christmas appetite is the lot of the provider, and to cope with the after-effect is the lot of the chemi&t Hence, these- smiles. — That civil servants who have noted the dismissal o_f the "voucher" officials will possibly keep clear of politicians with "friendly" motives in future. Politicians in search of ammunition ought to wear a red hat. with "Danger" written on it.