A Lump of Logic.

Free Lance, Volume VI, Issue 287, 30 December 1905, Page 16

A Lump of Logic.

The tune to quit (it seems to me This truth is past denying) Our advertising ought to he When all the world l quits buying. — JSfixon Waterman, in N. York "Evening Post."

We have much pleasure in acknowledging and heartily reciprocating seasonable greetings and compliments fiom the Premier, Sir Joseph and_Lady Ward, the Hon. A. Pitt, Mr. and Mrs. C. H. Mills, the Wellington City Council Office Staff, Mr. Geo. Robertson, Government Life Insurance, the editor and staff of the Woodville "Examiner," the proprietors and staff of the "Feilding Star," the staff and head office of the Department of Labour, Mies E. M. Carr (School of Shorthand), the General Manager and Head Office Staff, New Zealand Railways, and the Traffic Inspector's Office, New Zealand Railways. This last is the most novel of all. It is in the form of a memo, card bearing this notice: — "All trains leaving here during the Holiday Season convey a full load of Hearty Good Wishes from us. Short supply, nil." A handsome pictorial wall calendar advertising Mellln's Food had arrived from Q-odlin and Co. Proprietary, Limited, and other attractive office calendars are to haatd from the Westport Goal Co. (Mr. W. A. Flavell, manager), and! Mr. Uunbar Sloane.

The smaller the town, the longeo- the people demand that the skirts of the chorus girls must be on the stage. • • • Williamsons GJbeit and Sullivan Opera Company are preparing "Utopia Limited" for the Melbourne season. • • • Adelaide'^ latest voca.l prodigy is called Maud Pud'dy. No voice oould struggle to fortune agann&t a name like that. • • * Dan Fitzgerald recently underwent a, serious operation at Melbourne, and everybody wants him to recover, because he is not a bad sort. • * ♦ Menier, the Frenchman, with Wombwell's menagerie, now in Austialia, crunches rp glasses and eats nails and knives and forks and broken bricks for "a living." He is the human ostrich. Lord George Sange-r, the circus king, has sold up the show, because he is tired. He 1 seventy years of age, and kept 250 people employed. He started the circus business on his own at the age of twenty. What's in a name? Mel. B. Spunis gone, and a young colonial man popped into monologue fame as Mel. B. Barker. He takes the only Mel. B.s repertoire, and, according to all accounts, uses it with credit. • » * Puccini is in great vogue as a musical composer at Home just now. Four of his operas — "Manon Le&caut," "La Boheme," "La Tosca," and "Madame Butterfly" — were included in the Covent Garden season just closed. • » * Wombwell's boss elephant will probably come to New Zealand, and, as he is addicted to drink, a prohibition ordeir should be issued. The mammoth is particularly fond of "long beers," and he prefers them in a ten-gallon bucket. r- * 9 Mme. Melba is credited in* the Brooklyn "Eagle" with having informed its Paris correspondent that she desires her son, who is now nineteen years old, to become an English gentleman farmer, to marry young, and to have- a large family. • * ■* Miss Florence Lloyd, the lady wiho is bo smart a "gentleman"' in "The J.P.," is Mrs. Walker-Leigh when she \% at Home. The hvphenatedl husband is a soldier-man. The lady was a Gaiety girl, as also was Decima Moore, who likewise annexed an Army officer. • • • A Frenchman has recently turned out a combined phonograph ond kinematograph machine. One is able to see the performer, and 1 hear him too. We may yet see and hear what the New Zealander* did! and 1 said when Morgan got the try. The \great Geor<?e Musgrove is hardly optimistic: — "There's not a comic opera^ prima donna in. the Englishspeakine world — a woman who possesses the personal charm and vivacity that's necpssarv." Perhaps, he's never heard of Amy Murphy? • • • Th« filmy West is doing "record business" with >>is pictures at Dunedin. The West himself is not talking English as she should be spoken to New Zealand now. because he is busy picking up pictures of our footballers in the dear Homeland 1 . His. profit in New Zealand i<? reckoned at £10.000. Wonder if Tax Commissioner Peter Heyes swooped down on him. • • • News comes from Gnv Paree that thp problem of successfiTllv comb i nan- the phonoQrr&ph and bio°raph has been solved. A Parisian inventor has succeeded in perfecting a ma chin© which he calls the chronoTaphi, and the eTTveirimeuts with it have in every case bpei successful. One of the fir*t filmic snow" was that of a "tram" by Mr. "R Gr. Knowles. wiho will be shortly iseen in AnstralHi under Mr. -J. C. Wil'lia TT * < i9O' T »' < * m an p cement. • • * A "burlesque of Miss Annette Kellerman, tne Australian swimmer, in her Channel swim, is just now the rage at one of the Paris theatres. On. the stage, erected in cardboard 1 , are the towns, Calais and Dover. A tiny rowing boat isjslowJv moved 1 along in which is a man 'with a kettle of boiling water. a ehiclcen. and a cup quite the size of ai washing-harein^ The first remark the boatman makes is • "How are you going now, Kellermami ?" The mimicking swimmer -shivers, and answers: "Oh, errand, thanks, onV if** beastly cold." Thereupon the kind oarsman empties the boil;ine water into a tnb. Tt moves away until it reaches the same spot where it started.

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