All Sorts of People

Free Lance, Volume VI, Issue 286, 23 December 1905, Page 3

All Sorts of People

\T~F< ken Dochter Gibb, nae doot? Aweel, he was on the platform ■*> at the Girls' High. SchooJ— we beg pardoa— Girls' College prize-giving. Not that he had onything to say, unnerstan'. for the Chief Justice, who ought to be a bishop, n>o less, was daen awfu' weel at the tongue-waggin'. The doohter is a braw Prohibitionist, is he no? Ye dinna ken? Aweel, he says so, so it's aw rioht. Tell believe his own word, maybe? Vera weel. Although the dear dochter wasna able to gie any advice tae the lassies aboot the "higher life," he wis in richt quid fettle for a sang, and) when "Auld Lang Syne" was being sung, the dear dochter surprised us aw by putting a deal of animation into the dreadful line "We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet for ould lang syne." • • • Afhe braw dochter wis vera animated /(ndeed, so he wis, and when they had finished he called for the crossed bands, and the last verse. "Let us sing the last verse, ma freens!" he cad oot Yell be noticin', maybe, that that last verse says: "We'll tak' a riehtguid willie waught,' and we're wondering how the dear dochter comes to be recommending onv such thing. But, they didna' join hands,, and they didna' "tak' a Tight quid," etc., and he was vera disappointed, surely, and! maybe he jist had to steal awa — and hae yin on his ain — ginger-beer, o coots©! 'Smiler" Hales cheers the British * people up :—'l: — 'I turn up from memory's page the history of the doings o± a team of Australian, cricketers who cam© here in 1878, and did to English cricket just what our New Zealand friends are doing to Rugby footballers. They made, cricket look cheap— very cheap. Blaokham made a sensation by dispensing with a long-stop, and by standing close up to the fastest bowl- " ing. And! how the English critics whimpered over it all. Home cricket was going to the dogs, sir ! Yet, only a few months ago I saw the pick of Australian cricketers out-bowled, outfielded, out-batted, and out-generailed in each of the test matches, and tern& of thousands of Englishmen saw the same thing. • ♦ • "Why don't you do a little thinking, my athletic friends? This team may have a clean run through the whole country. I'm inclined to think it will. They may pile up over a thousand points before the tour is over: I consider it quite possible. But, England will have her day, and' the time will come when the Home Rugby players will regain the ashes just as surely as the Home cricketers have done. Australia could not go on producing a Spoffoorth, a Boyle, a Blackham, a Bannerman, or a Murdoch. • • • "Nor will New Zealand, wonderful little spot though it is, go on turning out a Wallace, a Hunter, a McGregor, or a Gallaher. These things run in cycles. Get in and beat them if you can ; don't nag so much concerning their methods. The roughest same they ever played was a kissing match compared to the annual struggle between Harvard and Yale. It is certain that England's turn will come to •wea" the laurel asainst New Zealand. In the meantime, take your gruel as if you liked it ; it will go down better."

Our attention has been drawn by a country friend to a bilious par. about the Lance which Mr. P. Freeth some weeks ago published in his Palmerston paper. It is well buried there. Before he went to Palmerston Mr. Freeth was anxious to acquire an interest in the Free Lance. But we didn't want him. Hence, the sourness of the grapes. ,^-Aquaint story is told by Herbert Flemming, of the Brough-Flemming Company. It happened at Christchuroh, where he acted as manager, for a company formed on shipboard, which gave a minstrel entertainment on arriving at Lyttelton from England. Besides the "circle" programme, there was to be an original farce, entitled, "A Shower of Oats," in which one incident was to be the simultaneous appearance of a crowd of live cats. Mr. Flemming bogged, bought, or borrowed about twenty domestic pets, and had l them confined in two rooms, one at each side of the stage. That they raised a feline chorus to some* of the minstrel items was but a minor feature of the performance. • • •» At the appointed "cue" in. the farce, the whole menagerie of cats was launched upon the stage by way of a realistic incident. The effect produced was not exactly what the farce-builder had intended, though just what anyonei familiar with the nature of the untrained cat would have anticipated. Instead of remaining on the stage, as well-con-ducted professional catsi would have done, every puss of them made abound across the footlights and into the stalls. The effect was startling. » * * ,^From every woman, in the hall there arose a piercing shriek as the score of scared grimalkins rushed through the building, with tails andi fur earect, in one blind scramble for the doors. A panic set in, and cats and 1 audience poured out into the street in one steady stream. In a few minutes the minstrels were left in sole possession, of the theatre, and of the £100 odd t!hat had been taken at the doors. The fiasco was remembered as a joke against Mr. Flemming, when, in after years, he visited Christchurch professionally, and he is occasionally reminded! of it still. • • • On' dit that a youthful scion of the Pharazyn family has just come to light in a riddles competition in one of the English weeklies. They say the prize he won means £100 a-year for five years. Tom Mills, of the "Post," has also been trying his hand at something of the same kind. A big Yankee publication ran a deteictivei story in serial instalments, and then, after getting the hero into a tight place, offered prizes for the cleverest suggestion how to get him out again. Tom, who fe©ls himself fit enough for any sort of billet from Sherlock Holmes up to President Roosevelt, sent in has contribution, and 1 has just been, informed that he came out 11th on the list. He was about the only competitor outside the States. / » • * I Mr. C. A. C. Hardy, the hope of vSelwyn, is a hobby-rider of pronounced proclivities. His especial craze is for walking-sticks, of which he has several thousands, ranging from half-hundred-weight Samoan clubs to the dainty cane of the tired* dandy. C. A. C. doesn't wear a stiok himself in the street, because every stick he has has a pedigree like a racehorse, and he is afraid he mi.o;ht lose it. The most interesting stack of his collection is the one that King Canute poked the wave back with when he commanded it "thus far a.nd no further," and another is a small silver-ferruled arrangement with which Heurv VIJU. thrashed Anne Bolevn with for putting salt instead of sugar in hia beer.

There are at least two 1 epresentatrvas of Tatty-land in Wellington wiio were noL in the smallest bit depressed when Qic news arrived on Sunday morning that Wales had put down New Zealand at football. One is Captain Davy Jones, or the> fast and furious fertrysteamer Duchess. As the crowds arrived for tiansit to the Bay, Davy, all smiles, was bu&y celebrating the victory. He had started 1 his Italian band on "The March of the Mem of Harlech," and kept them going at ijiga pressure, till the perspiration .streamed down their faces. Then he let them cnange the tune to "The New Jerusalem" out of compliment to the Hebrew citizens who were trooping aboard for transport to Rona Bay. Also, he hoisted the Union Jack proudly at the prow -of the vessel. On the other-side wharf there was a crowd of Empire. City young bloods, in sweaters and shoit pants, to learn the result of the big match. "What about football ?" they yelled. "Who won?" 'What do you think ?" shouted Captain Jones, in reply. "Don't you twig the flag?"^ «/Mr. George H. Davies, of the Native Office, war* also in high feather. A fortnight before the event George, who has the whole history of the Welsh Fusiliers off by heart, and! knows how they won Waterloo and saved the British Empire, a dozen times at least with the billy-goat at the head of the regiment, had drawn a little picture depicting Wales knocking out the moa, and had shown it Touncl with much glee to his intimates. But, they merely scoffed 1 at it, whereat he was sorely grieved. He was even willing to lend it to the Lance. But the # Lance wasn't prepared to back the billy-goat against the moa. It is now George's turn to gloat and exult. And this is how he rubs it in. You will understand it better if you are told that Nee aspera terrentf' ("Not even difficulties frighten us") is the motto of the 23rd Welsh Fusiliers: — Nee moa terrent. (Not even moas alarm us). Capricornus. Ha!!! Ha!!! George is forgiven. Sunday was a dlay out for the Welshmen of Wellington, and they let us know it. • • • Dan Chee, New South Wales storekeeper, and richest Chinaman in, the State, died the other day. He started with bo money, bought goods on, credit, and hawked them round. Married a white woman, and had a son and two daughters. Brought them up in the Scotch faith. Young Dan was awarded the prize for being the most popular boy in the Sydney Scotch College. His eldest daughter is the wife of an English nobleman. All li, eh? /- * * # vJtfiss Constance Barmooat, the writer of the interesting notes on the mysteries of New Zealand girls' trousseaux which were printed! in an English paper the oher day, is the Nelson girl who went home about five years ago, and became private secre-taa-y to Mr. W. T. Stead, of "Review of Reviews" fame. She is a daughter of the late Hon. J. W. Barnicoat, of Nelson, one of the pioneers of Nelson province. Before sihe went to England Miss Barniooat did some pioneerin or on her own account, for she was the first woman to act as an official shorthand writer in New Zealand. It was she who took the notes of evidence at the Parliamentary inquiry into the banking crisis at the time when the Colonial Bank became absorbed in the Bank of New Zealand. Also, the charming Constance said New Zealand didn't read 1 the "Times" weekly edition deeply enough, nor gather # the pearls from the "Fortnightly Review' sufficiently, which we never shall forget.

Said a well-known and highly-es-teemed theatrical galloper the other day : 'Yes, wife's all right, and iuddy is doing splendid. When little Byron. was very young, friends used to examine him closely, and! say, 'My word, but he's an awfully pretty child. So like h s mother !' He's older now. Everybody who sees him now-a-days remarks, 'Good gracious, isn't he like his dad !' " "They don't say anything about his. beauty 1" pondered Michael sadly, as he remarked that Czerny was the greatest conjurer above ground. Mr. W. W. Robinson, a fanner old sport of Auckland;, has beea writing a series of chatty articles descriptive of the early days of football in tho province of Auckland). One of the liveliest sketches relates to the matches with the Thames in 1870 andl 1871. These were the palmy days of the Northern goldfield, and Jack Gibbons, of the "Post" reporting staff, remembers the events perfectly, and oan fill in all the detail with a graphic hand. The event was a kind of blend of Domnybrook Fair with the Melbourne Cup. Every kind of shandry-dan on the diggings was pressed into serv-ije to bring in. the miners from the waybacks to the Shortland flat, and 1 all the hotels and grosc shanties — every second shop was & grognshanty in those days — was full to overflowing. Books were made on, the match, the odds were quoted at every street corner, and hundreds of diggers were out to paint tihe town red. The match itsell was a regular kick-^uid-tear scramble, and the crowd/ yelled and shrieked itself hoarse as the heroes of the fight were laid out and carried off the field in sections. One man had his leg broken, and others sustained broken noses, smashed! ribs, andl black eyes. Every player was a son or Anak, for brawn, stature, and muscle were the chief qualifications. It was in short the kind of football that Ernest Hoben celebrated in, song as being played at Killaloe. • ' • * Mrs. Hislop, the Lady Mayoress, is a capital impromptu speaker. Whether or not the recent election campaign, in which she actively assisted her hueband, has brought her out of her shell and trained her to public speaking, matters not. The fact came out last week that she oan turn out at shortest notice a speech that will stand) comparison with the male article. Her opportunity arose at the Girls' College breaking-up. Mrs. Hislop distributed the prizes, and at the close a vote of thanks was passed to her,. She rose promptly, and, rather unexpectedly, and without the least effort or trace of nervousness, spoke well and sensibly to the girls, pointing out that borne training was the greatest factor in future happiness, and that character was more to be desired than prizes. It was a capital little speech. • • • A dazzling smile irradiated the countenance of Mr. George Toogood, of Findlay and Dalziell's, barristers, the other day, and we stopped him, and accused him of having won a sweep, or come into a fortune, or having been called to the liegislaive Council, or something equally glittering. It was none of these things. George had just passed his law examinations; that is to say, he has worried through "contracts" with success, and will bloom into the full flower of lawyerhood as soon as the forms andl ceremonies thereunto appertaining shall have been solemnised. George is the robust and vigorous treasurer of the local Savage Club, is an earnest, decent chap, and frequently bursts forth into elocution. He always has a breezy atmosphere, and is a good tonic to the tired scribbler. George, old chap, shake 1

Mr. George Baylis, the gentleman who pops up pretty frequently in connection with Newtown and Island Bay matters, made those two interesting suburbs. G. H. said &o at a dinner given last week by Island Bay residents to a few select pea-sons and us. When Mr. Baylis made Island Bay, he might haye used nice white shells instead of rooks for the beach, and he could have arranged for less wind. Then, it he had thought of itj he wouldn't have thrown in those hills, because nice flat land is better to build on. We don't know what he was thinking of when he made Newtown. Probably, he had a tew swamps in stock, and 1 Newtown seemed to be a pretty likely place to get rid ot one. / • • * '/Mr. Baylis nas, however, drained the swamp since his first creation of it, and given us a tramway service and several thousand houses, and the biggest population of any electorate in New Zealand, and he has allowed us to go and live there, and! given Mr. Barber permission to use a, little of it tor a house, and Mr. Luke likewise, if he behaves himself, will be allowed to remain there, or thereabouts. Mr. Baylis remarked at that dinner that when he was making Newtown, Mr. ' irber was a school cadet, and used to shoot at a target at Newtown. Mr. Baylis came along, tore the target out, aaid planted the Newtown Hotel there! Somebody here yelled): "Good shot, George!" _ {The old Newtown Hotel is now the meekest kind of country residence, and faces the biting blast of Evans Bay, Mr. Olarke, part-owner ot J^ilbirnie, inhabiting it. We understand from G. H. that he also made the island' Bay Hotel. If he had only made the dining-room a bit bigger I Mx. Palmer apologised for it, but it is evidently Mr. Baylis's fault. People filled that dining-room until the walls bulged. "Jemmy" Dykes, who was there to sing, was passed in over the heads of the people, perspiring profusely, a yard at a time — it was bo hot that about six tons of kaihawai had come ashore at the Bay that day, asking for a family residence in a freezing chamber. One gentleman who got his chest insidi&the dining-room, but most of whom Had to stay outside in the passage, is the military commander of the tramway traffic. He is sft. lOfin. in height, 42£ in. round the chest — without expansion — has a moustache waxed out to breaking point, wears the military "quiff" — he knows what we mean — and is very large and evening-dressed and red-handkerchiefed indeed.. It is an honour to be permitted to use the car he goes to work on. He was either a major-general in the Guards, or a colour-sergeant, but we prefer to tnink of him as the former. / * VMayor Hislop> was there, looking hot, and smoking a_cigarette. He said that once upon a time Island Bayers would have willingly paid sixpence for a tram ride to the playground l of Wellington, but now why not a penny fare? Told a story. Once upon a time there was a man who went to a modern dentist to have a tooth drawn. The modern dentist 6aw the tooth one moment, and the next moment the man. saw the tooth in the forceps. "How much?" he gurgled between expectorations. "Half-ar sovereign," said the gum-digger. Replied the man: "Go on! Last time I went to Billy Irons, flhe blacksmith. He dragged me all round the shop with the pliens, broke the tooth off twice, and then dug the stump out with a shoeing knife! And ihe only charged me half-a-crown 1" The moral is obvious. 2 * V^We want to say that Charlie Izard was there, just to have the raspberry jam sensation of writing "Charles Hayward Izard, M.H.R. for Wellington North, in the Parliament of the colony of New Zealand, a councillor of the said city, esquire, barrister at law." Charles said the Council legislated for "the children yet unborn," and a great many nice things, showing that the City Council was a philanthropic body of large calibre, and l with hammerless, silent action. Charles told how he was coming down the street that day, intent on buying a shirt, when he looked tup, and saw two huge arms each waving a bottle of "laughing water" out of . top-storey window. Charles ascended, and found that a young fellow had just passed hisexam., and was a D.O. So they passed the fizz, and Charles passed the shirt-shop, and) was late for dinner. Also, he said that he used to "put a bit" on the machine at Island Bay, and if he had had his way there would 1 be a racecourse at the Bay still, and millions of people wouldn't go to Trentnam. ♦ » • A gentleman recited for half-an-hour while everybody went outside into the cool, and it was very interesting, and very hot indeed. By the time Freddy Beeves of the "Post" upended to tell

the people the great press truism that th said press was almost bursting with enjoyment, it was twenty to ten, and eveiybody got aboard the car and allowed Mr. Godber to "shout" fares. The Island Bay Hotel dock said 8.20, so it is always early out there. / . t/Mr. James Lookie, the well-known builder, has got back from his OldWoild ramble, which was over-clouded by Mrs. Lockie's death. After a spell of forty yea is in the colonies, Mr. Lockie found a great deal to* engage his interest and excite his surprise. He was impressed with the growth of the motor 'bus in Londlon. Coming back from Cricklewood, he counted! twentytwo of them inside a couple of miles, all going m the one direction, and mostly full of passengers. They carry sixteen below, and twenty on top. Mr. Lockie, by the way, is largely interested in the Upland Park and Kelbume Tram Companies. /• t/He also spent a busy sight-seeing day going over Harland and l Wolff's immense ship-building yards, at Belfast, whore 12,000 hands are employed. At New York, he joined the footpath crowd that was watching through open basement windows the up-to--date printing machinery -of the "New York Herald" turning out edition after edition. Glasgow was much bigger, of course, but not much changed, and Paisley seemed! to beat it hollow for Saturday "drunks." x' * * \_SWj may be hard to believe of so enthusiastic a bowler, but Mr. Lookie gives us his word as "a man. and a brither," that he didn't trundle a single bowl on a Scottish green all the time he was away. He looked in just to see hiow they were playing, and how the turf stood the wear at Girvan; and other bowling centres, but he never let on that he knew the jack from tiie< mat, and so he passed muster as merely a greenhorn. He saw no wrinkles in play to pick up, but over in Sydney, coming back, he watched Lord Jersey, a former Governor, skipping a team, and made up his mind that His Lordship oould hold 1 his own, even on the Wellington green. * • ♦ Lord Ranfurly is a decent sort, although he may be a "guinea-pig" director of a great company as cabled. He remembers things, does Uchter John Mark. Remembered', for instance, that Veteran Lacey, of this* end or the earth, had earned the Turkish medal, which he had never received. Lord Ranfurly picked up a Turkish medal — > presumably a a dealer's — and' has sent it out to the veteran to complete his "breastful." As every medal is engraved with the name of the soldier to whom it is given, Mr. Lacey gets another fellow's "gong," which, we sup-

pose, doesn't matter much. It proves, however, that Lord Ranfuriy's great scrap-book, into which he entered or pa&ted eveiy little teeney weeney thing that ever happened to him, has proved useful. / ' ""^aJec Burns has gone away to do his six months at Cable Bay, and George Humphries has emerged! therefrom to take a spell at wasting down his too, too solid flesh in the Empire City. A number of the press gang gathered round Ale© the other day, before he went to Cable Bay lor the Press Associaion, and. drank his health and kissed his damp brow. Aleo is a Press Association Parliamentary reporter, and a slave to his job. He is chairman of the Press Gallery, wears specs., and a 42in. waistcoat at the lower end. Always wears light clothes, and a light heart, although in the dark days of the session he is .sometimes seen in a black "claw-hammer." / • * • affects to enjoy the yearly banishment to Cable Bay, for, although the community thereaway is small, it is sociafcle. Although Aleo # is no poet, he is a tennis 'un, and this game is played at Cable Bay with much animation. Anyhow, when Aleo oom.es back after the yearly sentence he has less adiposity, and more tan on his good, old, healthy, kindly face. We don't know anything else against Aleo.