Political Chit=Chat.

Free Lance, Volume VI, Issue 282, 25 November 1905, Page 11

Political Chit=Chat.

ONE of the most amusing features of the war being fought by the political snipers in and around the Empire City is the way rival tacticians "tack" and "board" and raise their little jibs to catch each changing breeze of public opinion. For instance, here us Mr. Hislop, alive to the exigencies of the situation, and, discarding the pronouncedl Opposition garb he has always hitherto worn, and surprising his friends and! vexing tho Iron Duke by masquerading, in «ie neutral tints of an Independent. J±e, of corns©, has an illustrious precedent in the conduct of that great and holy man, Joseph Chamberlain, the revered philanthropist of Birmingham. • * • I fear me much that the vigorous "Dahn" Fisher bites off far more than he can conveniently masticate when he endeavours to misrepresent the also vigorous "Pat" O'Regan. P. J. had set an example in abstention, from personalities, but the tyro let's her go, Gallagher" when anyone "treads ou the tail of me coat." The O'Regan has as glib a tongue as "Bahn, and a memory for facts and a way of using them that ought to make his opponent more careful. Mr. Fisher got more than a Roland for his Oliver from, the O'Regan on Wednesday nighlt. • ♦ • Mr. Seddion, at Pukekobe, reckoned he had the confidence of the mothers of New Zealand. Wonder what they told him? • • • "Are you in favour of a poll-tax on Chinese women?" Mx. Tioogood the new Liberal candidate' fox Chnstchurch East, was asked. "Yes," he replied "otherwise there will be a probability of lots of little Chinese escaping taxation." Reminds me that a smal batch of Chinese women were absorbed into the life of Wellington a fortnight ago. Their Chinese bridegrooms, notv ever, met them on the wharf. • • • Quaint notion by Speaker Guinness (member for Grey):— "To prevent the re-aggregation of large estates he proposdthat when cutting up an estate which had been resumed, a section which could' be leased) with right ot purchase should adjoin one that could only be leased for thirty-three years, and renewed at the end of that term, and this again should! adjoin a section which could only be taken up under the homestead system. Thus there would always be one section Jetween the freehold sections, the freehold or which could not b& obtained. • * * Mr Fraser on the licensing question; "One of the worst features, of this question is local option." "I am a Prohibitionist every time as against local option." "I pledge my word that if no4icens© is included m tne Bubiects for a referendum I will support it." "The man who says the young colonial is a drunkard lies. • * w Mr. Buddo has discovered that New Zealand's defences are not worth the grooMid they stand! on. Everybody knew this, but, as an excuse for a large amount of expense, a big statt and a great deal of gilt, gaud, and "side," those defences are the very thing. # . • On one famous occasion Mr. Charles H Mills, Minister of the Crown for the oolony of New Zealand (and the dependencies thereof, don't forget), spoke of the glorious charge of Nelson and his victory at Waterloo. Later m life he remarked, with a burst of eloquence, that the Premier had oome out of the torchlight with consolidated ability!" Mr. Mills was a schoolteacher once! Just lately Charles H. described an "independent" as "a man with a leg on each side of the fence and a swing in. whichever direction the pot boiled greasiest." And yet, how can the Ministry spare him? • ♦ • Some time ago a cab bolted, and brought up when it had knocked a hole about ten feet big in the corrugated iron fence surrounding Government House. The hole is still there. It has an added interest, however, for tihe quick intelligence of a political joker has used it to advantage. On both sides of it he has printed, in huge black characters: "Vote for Duthie and Quick Repairs!" • ♦ • "The applications I receive from candidates for the public service are the worry of my life; men, women, and children all seem to want to get put into public billets."— Mr. A. W. Rutherford, at Amberley.

At the conclusion of Mr. W. Fraser'b Balfour meeting, a free and independent elector unburdened himself to the following effect: — "Why can't we play cards in hotels aow? Before I could get nice and drunk for five shillings when we wei© allowed 1 to play caidb, but now it costs nic a pound, because I've got to go to th© bar and shout. The young fellows now can't play cards, they can only shout, and that leads them on to drink." * * * Rather ambiguous remark made by the Premiei at the opening of the ScargU'l-Ethekon railway section: ''The old Wesib Coast had stood him for twenty years, and it was safe to conclude it would stand anything." At a Mr. John Stevens election meeting, at Bulls, the- hall was decoiated with flowens. Mr. T. F'loweas was, in fact, the mover of the motion of confidence m John. Genial Jack us making the pace awfully warm for the sitting member. * * • The energetic Timi Kara has been ■ayimg things at Gisborne. Among them that "the Bible was a book that he revered, and from which he took a great deal of his philosophy, but there was one chapter they might almost begin to doubt — the passage that said Ananias was dead. (This is a dig at the Opposition.) Or it seemed that, he hiad lately been re-incama,ted'. The strength of the Liberal Party was in maintaining tmity and rationally keeping in mmd 1 the fight itself, and not departing too far from the nominal lines. * • * "They could afford to let the others blow their fireworks. When they found them making attacks on personal grounds, making capital out of individual characteristics, distorting facts, declaring themselves Independent, they must be hard pushed. (Laughter.) And bo they were hard pushed. (Voice "And so they will be.") A mosouito annoyed one at times, and! they were tempted to crush it, but they must bear in mind that it was a mosquito. No; let them sting; let them brims about their pin-prioks. They were nothing!" In answer to "V.C." :— "Yes, they have a Captain Fisher in the Tasmanian Legislature also." "No! Tasmania dddn't sendl ten contingents." * * * Mr. James Allen, at Waitahuna, advised' the people strongly to put :n a man who would turn out the present administration, and give them a change. It reminds me that Mr. Allen has been in Parliament fifteen years, and was presumably put there to effect the purpose he advises them stronely to put him in again for. James is a bit long over the> job. * • • Dr. Chappie, the gifted medico, recently began : "In virale but despised Japan." Surely, Dr. Chappie doesn't read the papers. If the British people ever whooped for anybody or anything it was for Japan during the useless Russ-Jap war. About ninety per cent, of the people of this country are Japan worshippers, merely because the Japanese were victorious. And, anyhow, we cannot afford to despise Japan if she wants anything from us. * * * Mr. Massey bet King Dick a new hat during last session that the Government would not have more tiban a majority of ten in next Parliament. Bang Dick, at Pukekohe, the other d)ay, told an interviewer that he had bet Willie a tile that the majority would be twenty. Bis Majesty also said that he went to Pukekohe on the invitation of Willie, who wanted him to contest the seat. + ♦ * "One half the people won't vote, and the- other Half won't put themselves on the roll," declared! the defendant in a. case heard at Auckland recently, m which a woman was charged with a breach of the Electoral Act. "It shows the necessity for leaving alone." replied the magistrate. "If they don't want to be enrolled, let them stay off. If I had my way there would be no canvassing for votes." Yet some people talk of making voting compulsory. * * • An elector who is absent from his electorate may, under the law made this year, apply for special permission to vote. Prime Minister Balfour, who has property at Pahiatua, has not yet applied for permission to vote for Williamarry 'Awkins 1 . t- ♦ In reply to many correspondents, the "General" must decline to answer questions through the post. Life is too short. Also, questions the answers to which won't bear the light of day or the dark of printer's ink arn't worth answering. « • * Answer to "New-chum" : — No, the Legislative Council is not elected by

the people ,so you cannot vote fervour friend — he doesn't need it, anyhow. There are> forty-four gentlemen, m the Council, and the law provide© that there must not be less than. ten. There never is. The law also provides that the number is otherwise unlimited. As you have only been in the colony a fortnight, I shouldn't think you would have a chance. Better tay work. Also, if there was an, elective Upper House you couldn't vote. You oamnot even vote for Mr. O'Regan until you are out of the limejuace stago by residence. You have to be a colonist of twelve months' standing, and a resident of an electoral district for three months before you can make anybod'v happy by putting yQur pencil through the other fellows' names. As far the other question, even if it does happen, you will only have to walk " little way down Adelaide-road to get your beer. If you are lame, it s within the penny section, on the tram.