It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume VI, Issue 281, 18 November 1905, Page 22

It is Town Talk

That -tibe man who has ten. miles of street lamps to illuminate every nigrit has "no light task." That the "Post" is up to its old game of pouring cold water on Maramar. Why this thusness ? —That potatoes in. New: Zealand are suffering from plague. Formerly they suffered from consumption.. —That there is not a single whiskey advertisement in the last "Prohibitionist." SVw this reason the paper s unique. That the unabashed beggars of Thames, near Auckland city, are empibasising their humiliation by soatteiing post-cards bearing the picture of Carnegie's library theireon. That, a propos of Carnegie library post-cards, the Commonwealth is prohibiting the posting of cards that "overstep the bounds of decency." — That the Russian school-children, wibo were shot down "like sparrows by those magnificent Cossacks, aiie bo much easier to fight with than Japanese. —That the papers are full of the great words of great medicos on the question of alcohol. Half of them say you will die if you drink, and the other half say you will die if you don't drink. — That on the West Coast every fortnight the papers bunst forth with • "To-morrow will be pay-day at the so-and-so mine." It is a sort of invitation for the tradesmen to be early with their little bills. That a man in Christohurch got damages for tearing his pants on a nail at the Fuller show. It is a good job that all the people who burst their waist coat buttons with laughing do not o-o for damages also. — That the large, red, Italian sailor, with a whirl of whiskers, to wlhom a prominent statesman raised, his hat, was not the Italian Prince. He was a plain quartermaster, who, however, looked! lake a stray duke. — That no one knew who had broken a £25 plate-glass window in a Hawke's Bay town until a oe-son issued a summons against the owner for damages to his clothes, sustained in falling through it while drunk. Non-suited. — That an English paper says Miss Brown, a professional guide, will leave England with a party of ladies, to "do" New Zealand. Miss Brown is a "skilled linguist." Wonder -what language Miss Brown, will select to hurl at us ? — That, with the large reduct&oai of duty on tobacco, promised' by the Premier, the tobacconists will be able to put by a little "sock" for a rainy day. But, of course, the price will be reduced proportionately to the smoker? — That a gentleman, who had' the distinguished honour to be born dluring the same year as the' King, who was lately sixty-four, has, on this account, recently changed his name from Grubb to G-uelph-Grubb. It is in the papers. — That a poor little husband lately applied for a separation order from the missus because she saved too; much money. In six years she had piled up £210 out of a 25s anweek "salary." Possibly, the little chap liven on> short commons. — That anglers in a certain country district are in a ferment over a story that a police constable has been fishing from the bank of the Wanganui river without taking out a license. Are constables on the Acclimatisation Society's free list? — That the Wellington Hospital appears to be a wealthy institution, if the buildings andi lands it owns are an indication. Sad to hear that a needy lady is being "dunned" for cash. Thought people paid hospital rates just to help poor people. — That there is a smile in this ad. "Situation wanted, by Nurse, competent to take entire care of infant. Call or writp for two days." When, one bJas got to scribble for forty-eight hours to induce a nurse to take a job, the state of the servant market is pretty bad. — That Auckland_Oity Council has given owners of big smoke-stacks six months' notice to abate the nuisance. You see, the smoke blew right into the Magistrate's Court. We would like Wellington's concentrated! essence of ooal to blow into Parliament House — in session. It might then be abated.

—That Job Lines is the alkiring name of a. Wairarapa candidate. Mr. Lines desires to be cast in pleasant places. —That it doesn't dio any good to whotoip for your pet candidate if your name is not on the roll. You ought to see about it. —That a bare-faced) case of "shoplifting" took place in a Wellington side-street on Saturday. The culpots, six working mien, used jacks. That a commercial traveller has returned to Wellington, and is' now in hospital suffering from shock. He asked for a sandwich at a railway station—and it was fresh! —That Mr. Jelliooe's book on the Courts of New Zealand wiH not be published until Mr. JeTlicoe is back in England. In the words of the diplomatists: "It is significant." That a Northern old age pensioner, agedi ninety-four, has written to the authorities saying he will not apply for the pension again, "as I have married a young lady with money." —That the first train from Paeroa to Waihi — in which district Kinig Dick has been making things hum — ran off the line. Want of ballast, probably. King Dick was not aboard. —That the most important thing in running an election campaign, according to Mr. Rutherford, is lies. On this basis, there is not a single candidate in Wellington who has a hope. That the Commonwealth is about to protest about the massacres in Russia. Again the Czar will be asking"Where is Australia?" Might as well send a porous plaster as a protest. That the Wairarapa press is very angry with Lord 1 Plunket for having marched through the district at r> good tfound pace. They have threatened 1 to enforce the by-law or something. A humble apology would, perhaps, fit the situation. That the absurd fashion so prevalent at present of carrying th© gloves 'n instead of on the hands was originated by th© King. His Majesty had hurt his hand in the hunting field, and so couldn't get a glove on. Ever since all fashionable mien have had inquired hands.