Political Chit=Chat.

Free Lance, Volume VI, Issue 281, 18 November 1905, Page 16

Political Chit=Chat.

By Our Street -Corner General.

FROM a scrutiny of the ehaiioet* of the various candidates who are now out on the stump, and a comparison of the opinions of streetcorner generals in other centres, 1 have come to a conclusion on the most probable result of the campaign. It Is that Bang Dick will return from the war with a working majority of from 15 to 20. Victory is certainly perched upon his banners just now. And 'his last week's march through Georgia— l beg pardon, Auckland— proclaims the approaching triumph right along the line. A keen politician from up North tells me that the Government will probably lose two seate up there. He believes that Mr. Kidd * marble is not very good for the City Central (Auckland) seat, and that Mr. Bagnall will shake him to the foundations. Christopher J. Parr the blaok-eyed Opposition marvel of the Northern city is coming on with a rush for Auckland City West, and s bound' to "arrive" according to my political confidant. • • * On the other hand, the Government are going to take over three Opposition seats, so we are told, so that they will gain on© in the rubber. The seats in question are said! to be Kaipara, Marsden, and Waikato. As to the latter, I hae ma doote. Mr. Willis had a rowdy meeting up Wanganui the other day. Somebody heatedly asked him if he was the chosen Government candidate? He told them the Premier had selected him. Angry words, which included "It's a lie," came from the audience. It appears that Mr. Willis wanted to meet the other Liberal candidates to eeleet the on© for the Liberal support. Mr. Willis said he didn't cam much what happened, because he was strong enouieh. lam very sorry that people dhould use such an unparliamentary term as "lie." Politicians always speak the truth. • * * Mr. Lang, of the Waikato, won't support a bare majority for the carrying of Prohibition. Of course (if he were asked) he would 1 support Lang retaining his seat by getting a threefifths majority over Greenslade. Why, certainly! • • * Bay of Plenty Herries went up to Waihi the other day to tell the miners that the Government had borrowed ts reform from the Opposition. His meeting was chiefly remarkable for the constant chorus of "Good old Dick !" that surged through the Miners' Hall. r • ♦ • Junior Whip Alfred Kidd is said to be shaky for Auckland Central, and the Opposition candidate, Bagnall (chairman of Board of Education) is rising in the betting. But, King Dick's big speech the other night may have given the Kidd a lift. » * Messrs. Lang and Greenslade have an opponent for the Waikato- seat, one James W. Tayloaff a Glasgow M.A., who appears to be a gameful sort of chap. Jamie says he's agin party government, and suggests Cabinet reconstruction, with a combination executive, consisting of three or four members from each side, Opposition and Government. He says it would save a lot of time. A politician who wants to save time is such a rarity that I mil ask Mr. Taylor, M.A., to stand down at once ,in order to save the time of the electors. Dear "General":— "Dr. Chappie is a director of the "Times," is he not? Dr. Chappie is also a Prohibitionist, isn't he? The "Times" is not the "Liquor" organ is it, because if it was Dr. Chappie wouldn't have anything to do with it, would he?— The Colonel. • • • In Auckland West, the No-License candidate, C. H. Poole, is making strong running against Oppositionist Parr and Government Independent Masefield. • * • "Do you know Red Jack?" breathlessly enquired an excited stranger who rushed up to shake hands with the Premier at Ethel ton on Wednesday week when he stepped off his car to formerly declare the new section of the Blenheim- Waipara railway open. "Yes, and Liverpool Bill," answered Mr. Seddon, amidst roars of laughter, as he warmly shook John Crimson by the hand. There were some "Old Coasters" in the crowd gathered for the occasion, and not a few present were hailed as "Tom" and 1 "Bill" by the Premier.

Old-time Marsden Thompson us after the top-hair of sitting member Manlier, and is going in with a loud whoop. He has sent a wire to have his Beat in the House dusted. # • * Greenslade, of the Waikato, a Government man, as working twentyfive hours a day, is deluging the country with literature is promising people everything on earth and in the heavens above, and is going to put Lang down with several votes to spare. Wanganui Willis is, I fear, about to retire from politics. He had a most hostile meeting last Friday night, and at the conclusion he was bom foai tied with a hailstorm of paper pellets containing questions. Th© chairman laboriously opened! them,- and m the meeting was over just before midnight. Mr W His made a mistake in not rnvitina the whole of Wanganui to the garden party at which he entertained the Governor. * • ♦ Mr. E. M. Smith will require ironsand foundations to make his election secure. The people of New Plymouth are not falling on his neck to nny distressing extent. But, w^en the numbers go up perhaps E. M. will still be able to exclaim, with the psalmist, "That's me!" Down .here in Wellington, the closest fights are going to be between O'Regam and Fisher for City Central, and Barber and Hislop for Newtown. The Mayoress seems to be working just as hard as her husband, and Thomas himself was never so approachable and in such a "promising;" mood. In the Central district, Patrick Joseph is making great headway. • * * Wullie McLean a}so js going to give ex-Mayor Aitken the biggest 'shaking up he has ever, had. The heavyweight will have to look spiry. •* * * Mr. John Duthie has sounded the irild pibroch of politics at the Theatre Royal, and complained that there was nothing new in the cannon's opening roar fired by the Premier at the Opera House. But, then, there is nothing new under the sun — not even Mr. Duthie and his esteemed views. , Despite the Iron Duke's critical hab/-jt, ( and bis delight in book-keeping 1 viva Voce from the platform, he always commands the respect of the multitude. Honest John's "remark ' that members sJb&onild omly bVpaid for tb/e' session is a^good* line fox .members with, bank-books Mr. Duthie. It doesn't make much difference to him whether he gets his quarterly cheque or no. Still, a system of fines for absence would be,.- a splendid reform — and Mr. Duthie would pay his snare into the Treasury. *■ * * In connection with the Lance assertion that there were under-paid restauTant workers in Wellington, it wa stated at Mr. Duthie's meeting that girls in some restaurants' worked up to fourteen hours a-day for 12s a week. It was also denied. • * * Mr. Greenslade, the Waikato optimist knows he is going to "get in.' The other day he found out the Maorii up that way wanted seed potatoes. Consequently, he wired straight away to Wellington, as if he already had both feet and „ a bell-topper in the House. Common potatoes for mere eating are from 3d to 4d alb 1 How many thousand bags would the Waikato natives like? By the way, the duty on incoming "spuds", is .not lifted, while there is a murphy famine here. Indeed, it becomes heavier, seeing that the duty is levied' on the value of fciie arriving tubers. We shall be tariffed to death yet. _ ' The Mafcaura electoral roll gives an idea of the extent to which the übiquitous "Mac" has peopled that part of the colony, remarks the Gore "Standard." He and she are 650 strong, no fewer than 108 being "Maodonalds, ' "McDonalds," or "Mac Donalds." One of the candidates for Parnell was asked whether, if elected, he would bring in a bill to prevent Maoris from harpooning whitebait. And the answer was in the affirmative! « • • Mr. T. E. Taylor 'is- hardly the kind of person to induce slumber at any of- his meetings. # But, at his rttsh-for-tho-spoil meeting at the Theatre Royal last week end, a lady, who struggled vigourously to get a front chair on the platform, immediately thereafter went to sleep. As "Dahn" Fisher was moving a vote of thanks to Chairman J. P. Luke, the lady woke. "Isn't he a splendid speaker?" she said with her waking breath. • * » At Mr. T. E. Taylors meeting there were two men who quarrelled. One man's wife was there. She seemed to imagine, perhaps, that her man was

getting the worst of the deal, for she stepped out? ajad punched ,the other fellow on the nose, and swept on with her husband, who trred to quell her pugilistic tendencies. The unhappy man who had offended her said something to her. She backed through the crowd, and gave him another on the nose. Then, with her head l held, high, she swept into the night, driving her crestfallen hubbie in front of her. • • • Although Councillor Carmicbael is "out" for a city seat, few people seem to treat his chance of getting "in" seriously. But, he got into the Council which, after all, seems to be the back-door of politics. • » • Mr. Taylor remarks that there aie twenty-six "New Liberal" Radicals out as candidates for the elections, and that most of them will get in! Thank heaven, oh, thank heaven ; the country is saved! Th© Hon. Charles Mills says the Government was not responsible for the rubbish about New Zealand contained in a pamphlet circulated at Sfc. Louis. Nobody accused Charles, anyhow. Wakatipu Fraser was banquetted with tremendous eclat the other day. Said he : — "It had' often been said that he should live in the district, but, seeing its scattered nature and the difficulties of access between different points, that was impossible. Besides, living at Wellington, he was close to the fountain head, andl could attend to anything that was required in a few moments. He found that half-an-hour's personal conversation with a Minister ■accomplished more than fifty letters." Mr. Herdman is another country member who elects jx> .live in this sinful city, far a^ay from his loved constituents.

Ban^-oo "Little Mary" slumped with a resounding thud in America. Frank Leon, the clog dancer, and Lizzie Kirk (Mrs. Leon), the unique serio, have met agjain, and are playing in the same company, at Brisbane. A person has written to a Londo i theatrical paper to &ay that "Chive. Twist" is a "crab" from "Leah Kietchnar"! It might further be remarked that Horace deliberately sneaked 111^ odes from the "Bulletin." About that little cablegram that arrived the other day, wheireosn it was stated that Gran Hervey had let a revdlver go at Walter Baker. Walter is, of ooufrse, Bland Holt's leading man, and Grant Hervey is the "Bulletin'" bard. • • ♦ Miss Elaine Ravensburg, reckoned to be the finest "boy" ever sent from England for the purposes of Australian pantomime, went to Africa to fulfil one engagement. It developed! into two. Her fuibure Africander husband 1 is fearfully rich. • • * Once there was a feud 1 between Irving and John L. Toole, and at a dinner in London some few years ago Irving made some uncomplimentary references to the comedian. In speaking to a toast later on, Toole said that on the previous night he had 1 had a very bad dream. He direamt that he died, and went up to the gates of heaven and knocked. St. Peter came out and said, "What is your name?" "Toole." "And your profession?" "An actor." Whereupon St. Peter said: "You are lost, and must go dtown to another place. We do not admit actors here." • ♦ * "On the way down," continued Toole, "whom should I see but Irving trudging up to the gates. I said to myself, 'Here's a lark. I'll follow Irving, and see how he'll enjoy being turned away.' But, to my astonishment, Irving was admitted at once, and 1 the gates closed after him. I rushed up, and knocked vigorously, and 1 St. Peter put out his head and said, 'Didn't I tell you to go to the other place, and that we> don't admit actors in here?' 'But,' I exclaimed, 'your are deceiving me. You have just admitted Irving.' TTes,' said St. Peter, i>ug surely you don't call Irvinig an actor !' "

A story is being told to the effe<v that tihie incomparable Scottish song linger, Jessie Maclachlan, was a worker in a factory when she was "discovered." Tair-o, the "Maori wizaid," has bee a milking the atmosphere of half-crowns and drawing a euchre hand 1 from the passing zephyrs on the other side. Funny thing that we haven't heard of Taia-o (or should it be Tarpo?) over here. Mr. Heniy Hawkins, R.A.M., who for some time led the Dix orchestra here wrote the music for a sketch the Musical Ibsons have been playmig with success. Mr. Bert Boyle, the local J.C.M. manage>r, wrote the words, and the Ibsons say it has "gone big" wherever they have showed. • * * Printed that the great Melba.'s voice may never aigadn be heard! in public, as she has developed lung trouble, which, although not of an alarming mature, is thought, likely to affect her singing. It is sincerely to be honed that one of the world's greatest voices may not be hushed for many yearn yet. Mr. G. Homan Barnes, who is looking after the "J.P." Company, tells me the company has tickled the risdbilitieh of the dour Dunedinites. I believe it, 'cos I saw it in the papers. The. Dunedin \ papers scream with laughter, and take heaps of space to do it in. As I write, George's familiar step is heard ■upon the stairs, and! his soft voice breaks the office cobwebs. How do, George? • * * Thurston the Great tells a story aboiut sleight-of-hand, at Melbourne : — "I visited the Eastern Market with a live chicken concealed! under my coat. Stopping before a poultry stall, and picking up a dead! and dressedi chicken. I asked the woman in charge how much it was. 'Two-and-sixpence,' was the reply. Making a pass, I substituted the dead! chicken for the live one under my coat, and the latter flew arway. 'Oh,' exclaimed 1 the poultry vendor, 'I've chickens are 3s 6d'.' And I had to pay that 3s 6d!. You see. the woman soldi live poultry as well, and, instead of being 1 amazed at my sleight-of-hand, as I intended her to be. she hadn't seen the trick at ail and imagined it was one of her own birds I had released."

A Southern paper is rude. It writes : "Mr. G. H. Barnes," etc. The Southern paper ought to know by now that it should be "Mr. G. HomaD Barnes." Mr. G. Homan B. is laying the track for the "J.P." Company, which got a start at Ihmedin, on the 9th. • ♦ • Harold Ashitwn, the gifted galloper for the Knight-Jeffries Company, ambled through Wellington! the other day on. his way to Christchurch, where he gets things in going order for the great double to burst with a loud report on the ears of the people of the plains. They are timed to go off in Wellington' on Boxing Night. • • • An Australian play-goer, writing from England, says that the actinig on that side of the world is not nearly as good as in Australia. "Thefre is no attention paid to small details," he says, "and one always goes away from a show feeling disappointed!. Theatregoing is expensive here, amd I have passed many and many more enjoyable evemings in Australian playhouses at lower rates than I have here." As a matter of fact, the colonies seem to have the best of everything, and don't wamt anything from Horne — except money.