It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume VI, Issue 277, 21 October 1905, Page 22

It is Town Talk

— That the parsons' exhortation to the potato growers of this country at present is, "Let us spray." — That in 1883, while on the Continent, King Edward sneezed. It was in the cable news at the time. — That a find of ambergris worth £400 has been made at Milford. The whales are very rude down that way. — That close on 200,000 aliens were let into England last year, and the powers that be wonder why Britishers clear out. — That the first spadeful of earth has been turned for the Kilbirnie tram tunnel. Will it be correct to call the tunnell "a big bore"? — That a member of the Tittell Brune Company is walking from. Brisbane to Sydney. It wouldn't be Dale Revenhall, now, would it? — That the prevention of usury law was wanted badly. One bankrupt had borrowed £10. He paid £70 in interest, and still owes £52. — That a sailor was brought ashore in Wellington yesterday, suffeaing with blood-paisoaimg in the foot. It is believed he stem>ed' on a starboard tack. — That Mr, FLsher "does not expect to see another man so able as Mr. Seddon at the head of New Zealand politics." Then, why as he always girding at Dick? — That the New Zealand! footballers are not going to play in the Isle of Man. It will be the proud boast in the Isle that they were never beaten by the colonials. — That anglers must carry scales with them now-a-days. The "Gazette" says that no one must catch more than 201b weight of trout a day. Most people cannot, anyhow. — That a local merchant, who went to that electioneering meeting the other night went home, became unconscious, and remained so for eight hours. He awoke in time for breakfast. — That Commissioner Donne brought back with him from America sheaves of smart post-cards illustrating the St. Louis Exhibition. Am idea here for the Christchurch Exhibition. . — That a Northern settler, who planted English oaks forty years ago, has had them felled, sawn., and mad© into coffins for himself, wife, and surviving children — fourteen of them. Ugh ! — That a noticeable feature about a recent society function was the furious fusillade of wit from a small and pompous local merchant. Everybody laughed — when he hadl left the room. — That the defence of an anti-vaccin-ator, who was fined for not obeying the law last week, seems a pretty good one . "God made man perfect, and I do not think we ought to add anything to His handiwork." — That Eltham intends to grovel at the feet of Andrew Carnegie for cash to erect a library which shall always remind them that they are beggars. Evidently, they haven't got grit enough to erect one themselves. — That a local clergyman was seen to stagger and fall from the effects of alcohol on board a steamer the other day. He was following a steward up the stairs, and that person slipped and let a case of beer fall on him. — That, a propos of the local Art Exhibition, one young New Zealand lady is staid to have sought am interview with the president of the Royail Academy while in London, in order to show him "the exact place she desired her picture to be hung." Don't believe it. — That Lord Ripon wants to know what will happen if the redoubtable Mr. Seddon dances on the stomachs os the British Government about the Chinese question in Africa. Let's hope it will make the Conference sick — of Chinese . — That a pretty girl in a local drapery establishment has broken off her engagement because her young man appeared with her at a fancy-dress ball as a nigger minstrel. In the first dance the burnt cork from »Ms hands completely spoilt the only evening dress she is likely to get this year. — That the Auckland girl, guilty of false pretences, and who told thrilling bales of love and! dukes and duchesses and penny novelettes generally, declared she only read the "Herald." Possibly, those cabled society misdoings — "William Brown, coachman, has run away with a countess" — inspired her.

That the Dunedin police "require" an owner for a purse containing money. Facetious Dunedin police! That an extra rum ration wull be served out on every British wars Imp tomorrow (Trafalgar Day). Will Mr. Isitt send a Marcomgram ? —That a Masterton paper wants to know, now that lunatic asylums are to be called "mental hospitals," what Parliament is to be called? Fie! The New Zealand footballers will play Somerset to-morrow (Trafalgar Day). The Britishers have a reputation for victory to keep up to-moirrow. That all the railways in the world have been made m seventy years. Within the next seventy the North Island Trunk Railway will be completed. — That some very weird things in Panama hats and fearsome riding pants have wandered off the Home boats into Wellington lately. They are not looking for horses. —That about fouT-fifths of the "great dailies" of New Zealand! refer to the end of the Jap-Russo war as "the conclusion of peace," which, as old Euclid would have said, "is absurd." —That the acme of politeneiss was reached on a recent slushy Wellington morning by a young man, who removed his gumboots, and handed them to his fiancee to wear across the street. — That burglars broke into a Christchurch bootshop, and took boots. Only large sizes were taken. The robbery was in the chief street. The police know nothing aibout it. Thank goodness! — That, now the trout fisher is forbidden by law to catch more than 201b of speckled beauties per day, the "fishLiar" muist become a thing of the past. In fact, forty-eight pounder® have gone out of date. — That King Edward suffered from a slight hoarseness last week, and went for a motor ride afterwards. Also, he had breakfast and) luncheon and dinner as usual. Subsequently, he went to bed, and slept. Good old cable! — That the locality of a "rogue and a vagabond." who had 1 the insolence to sleep outside because he had! no other place to sleep, was indicated to the patrolling policeman the other day by his snores. Night policemen are often inidicated bv the same method.