Pearls From Parliament

Free Lance, Volume VI, Issue 268, 19 August 1905, Page 14

Pearls From Parliament

THE debate so far had been goodnatured, and the whofe proceedings this session had been so. — Mr. Seddon's estimate of the financial dpbaite. • * * I do not think a member of Parliament ought ta be a Volunteer offioeir. — Mr. MeLachlan. • • * If in the course of sending official ceiegrams I choose to send! a memo, to wif a or daughter I am going to do it, and as often as I please. — The Hon. Mr. HaLlJones throw® down the gauntlet. • • • I say this decline in revenue from the beer duty is one of the most gpratifyiaig features of the Budget to me, because I think, if there is any class of the community who are not entitled to consideration, it is tine brewers ; and probably as time goes on. the spirit-oonsumpukm will shrink in equal proportion. — Mr. MoLadhlan, from prohibition areas. • • All the officer of the Wollmg+on Naval Artillery have resigned. Ihey are goodi officers, iand they a-e awn we cannot afford to lose if our Volunteer movement is to be successfully kept up. Mr. J. Allen. • * * I think it would be a wise thing for the Government to endeavour to have their legislation done in the ordinary hours suieh as business-men devote to their jwrn' affairs, instead of driving on, night after night, and keeping members here until they are thoroughly fagged out. — Mr. Lang. * * New Zealand may be and is proud of a great many of its' landowners. They have been in many cases tlhe pioneers of this colony, who had nothing to commence with but a determina,tion to succeed. They have turned 1 the wilderness into a smiling landscape covered with flocks and' herds or waving cornfields ; and if they have succeeded! -n making an independence after years of

straggle I am sure they well deserve u. —Mr. Buchanan, speaks feelingly. * * * If the Premier travels it must involve expense. I imagine that if he took a motor-car it would cost money, probably more than the train service. As the honourable gentleman muiyt know, no Minister and no member can tiavel without the fares being charged! for. — The Hon. Mr. McGowan. And no wondler the men of the Post and Telegraph Department speak out. They are kept on three hours without being paid 1 overtime — after the three hours they are paid ; and no wonder they resent being kept on three horn's without pay. — Mr. Fisher. • * * Let me tell an aneod'ote. Their© was a celebrated ambassador -at His Majesty's Court : a wily .disciple of Conf uoianKttn he was. At some State function he happened to be sitting next to one of the archbishops, and the eocLeorastic took the opportunity of imparting to him some Christian knowledge. One of the principles which he tried to instil into tlhe Celesta! was that he should do good to his enemy. But the astute old Li Hung only pulled his pigtaaa and asked: "If I do good to my enemy, whlat can Idoto my friend?" It seems that there was no answer to ttas airnd that the conversation ended! witlh an ambassadorial "Wha for?" There is only one conclusion to be drawn, and that is that, all things being equal, there must be an unconscious baas in falvouir of a friend as against an opponent. — Mr. Major.

Does the average man laugh at wit? Is he tickled to death with humour ? Or will be look as solemn as a moipoke at a real joke, and shriek with laughter at the suggestion made by a silly person on a stage that somebody has. burst bis trousers, or something equally hilarious? We ask this because a mayor in the Wairarapa made a joke tih© other day, and the paper says tlhere were "roars or laughter." Here is the joke : — "Anyway, this Town Clerk hasn't had the night-mare vet, nor has he whistled! tihe minutes or had his molars orat." * * * When colds and influenza rage, They add to life a dismal page, They make us all look twice our age — And scatter death around. ' Tis then we find a friend so sure, In William Woods' Great Pbppebmint Cube, Which, always certain, always pure, Will save us many a pound.