It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume V, Issue 256, 27 May 1905, Page 22

It is Town Talk

—That Biitain cannot >»paie obsolete guns foi Cape Colom because they are stLll hi u.se at Home -Tuat train Pohfcl£sL,P ohfcl£ $L, *£* oountrv want* more Tommy Tay ait,. His action in the Southern scandal l* worthy of all piai-e —That down South the\ aie saying Fathei HayV* lecturing fee wa-» ±.1U per lecture, the Alliance paving exes. Now, he is ''on bis own.' —That Judge Cooper thinks jurymen should be piovidted with thenlunch instead of being allowed to tiamn home for it No mention of beer. —That the onl\ occupants of the Auckland police cells on a recent night were, the local 'Herald" <w,vs, ten parsons charged with drunkenness. "Only" —That it should have been left to a deputation of madden ladies— or widows —to determine vi what manned Mi. Aitken's services to the city should be recognised. —That Opposition Leadoi Massey complains that King Dick is electioneering at the oountrv'* expense. What about stumping the oountrv on a railway pass? —That a Taranaki lady has presented her country with three infante of even a ae. This ls a case for Kine Dicks bounty. What do we not owe to that monarch's "memorandum" ? —That ram-maker Di. De Lacy McOarthv formerly of Adelaide-road, Wellington, is just now on the wild and weepful West Coast. Wonder if he is responsible for the wet weather? —That a local dealer in "ladies' and gentlemen's left-off wardrobes," having made a fortune, has left for Europe, with no intention of returning to this country. Fortunes in old clothes! —That the flannelled fools are giving the gi ass m the ' Basin" a. ahamoe to trrow while the mudldied oafs soabtei kmb> and hair and teeth on the goresoaked sw>ai d at New town and Miramar. —That ox-M.H.R. Meredith means to run Sir Jukes Steward for the Waabakj seat. Won't the poet be angry P He has been sitting for twenty-three years and he wants to reach, his silver jubilee. That an Auckland man recently shot himself because he suffered from mdigestion. Perhaps the threatened patent-medicine prohibition may have helped to unseat the poor fellow's reason. —That where the carcase is there will the eagles be gatheied together. Thus the Taahape 'Post" —"Still they come ! Yet another lawyer is taking up his abode m Taihape. Three more than enough." —That many country papers gave publicity to a paragraph staitmg that citizens of Wellington, are considering a suitable reward for "the ex-mayor Mi W. G Allen " What's in a name J Also, such is fame. That Mr. Massey thinks there will be more farmer-, in Parliament after the election, and the Parliament will be a "healthy" one. Evidently he expects them to give up late hours and "vitiated atmospheie." That Mrs. Prendergast, of Heathcote Valley, the victim of the recent Cbnstehureh railway fatality, was a sister of Mi. M. C. O'Connell, formerly piopnetor of Barrett's Hotel, Wellington and the Club Hotel, Masterton. That to the roles of politician, lawyer, and journalist, P J- O'Regan seems to have added that of prohibitionist. "Pat" isn't exactly a typical prohib — physically at any rate. He would make a sensation as a cold-water lecturer. — That many years ago the Government gi anted a South Canterbury school £12 "to encourage swimming The committee decided lately to use the money for that purpose. The committee could win a New Zealand Gup m -i canter —That a Southern policeman demonstiated with great precision m court lecentlv how a certain burglar's ™^ [e - ments were used. Counsel asked him if he'd ever seen a burglar use such tools s He said he hadn't. What would you wager? That the shameless way in which uncovered meat and hot bread are con - veved in and ai ound Wellington is evidence that the new Council have allowed this extremely important matter to escape their attention. Likewise are fish shops well worthy of their instant nHon+inn.

That the appropriate name ol a baa, bolo^t on a piogramme to h.uid is Earwaker. —That gold nuggets for pn iz(\s seem fco be all the rage. A wait-drunken digtrei won a £50 nugget down South, but lit his pipe with the ticket No nugget for him. —Tli.it Auckland meinbei Kidd has made a lemaik to hi-, canstitiKMit*. It in diplomatic cncles that he iin \ make one foi a change in Pail ament during the coming se^ion. Tli.it in the Southern divbncb-, th r authoiitie- have suspended woed-ki"-U 1( r opeiation.s, as the weeds thrive v, •,pfenduldy on the tieatment The oiilv tin at? that is being killed i- the useful grasi-. That Auckland society is -ori^ to he.v tl\at a young gentleman v. ho was variously ''the Earl of Northesk" and "Captain de Conrcy" isn't euthei gentleman, and w charged with foigei\ of a oheque for £200 That, a propos of the Jap-Ru&'io war, a Marlborough paper joculaily remarks — "The international situation is indeed an amusmg one." Might as easily talk about the fun to be had out of a thousand-acre cemetery That Solicitor Beere haw shown a hole oi two isn the Shops Act. Couldn't Beeie oome to the rescue of the bona fide tiaveller? Kven should prohibition be carried in Wellington at the next election, we shall stii'll have Beere —That Mr. P J. O'Regan has been receiving anonymous letters of more oilers abuse since he came forward as -ponjsoi far Father Hays m Wellington. Why don't the writers come out in the open and give Patuck a chance to go for them f That the lightniin,g jerkers are watching with absorbing interest the nurture of a single hair being forced to perfection by an always worn cap. The staff frequently but reverently lift the little hot-house to gaze in ecstacy on the tender orchid That Mi i listen Hall -Jo nets has been emphasising the value of water-power in the boggy North He didn't emphasise the value of the long-de^ed million and a-halif tons of metal absolutely necessary to iai-=«? the roads above high-water mark. That the "man m the street" is nimble in Sydney. An envelope, containui'g three ten-pound nortec bleiw out of the window of the Government Savings Bank there into the street the other day. The clerks gave imimediiate cha^e, but didn't recover them. That a bieaeh-of-prcxmi&e-of -marriage case, wibh prospects of much nyum-nvum readme:, has just been settled out of court, and Wellington thus muv-es a nine-days' sensation. He i* one of our gilded youth-,, and she wa^ a housemaid in the family mansion. —That the offtcal history of the part New Zealanders played in the South African war has not vet seen the light. The British official record has cost £13.000, and it isn't out vet. Thfhistonans get £6800 peT annum. Couldn't the Government eret McMurran to write our tot tie h story