All Sorts Of People

Free Lance, Volume V, Issue 243, 25 February 1905, Page 3

All Sorts Of People

MR. Seddon, who isn't much of a. oncketei, but who is .hard to bowl out (and who is harder to convince when he is boiled out), at the conversazione given to the Australian cricketers, at the Town Ha,ll, on Fnday night, was in an advertising mood. He was less concerned w ith the valoui of Australian cricketers than the peifection of tlus country. Still the Australian cricketers will be glad to go on their way knowing that if the oountiy can't grow cricket pitches it can grow footballers, on something like that * * * Sm Joseph Waid trod on. nobody's corns, and his opening lemarks may be boiled down into "Eat, drank, and be merry for to-morrow the Australians will beat you." But, when Sii Joseph, smiling a twenty4iorse-po>wer smile, reckoned that Australia was about to go Home to collar the "ashes, and. bring them back so that New Zealand might gather them m on the battlefield, the eai th shook with the. laughter of the hosts and one man had to be carried out Six Joseph's ref ei ence tjo the greatest batsman in the woild, Mr Tiumper, made that distinguished person endeavour to ciawl under a serviette to hide himself, and Clem Hill, fearful that Sir Joe was about to congratulate him on his lecent marriage, blushed furiously. * * * /Mr. Frank Lavei , who manages the team is, of course, watching to see that all his men drink the weakest shandy for fear Wellington should beat them by 500 luns and eight wickets, and when he upends he is expected to make iokes. He and the team adtmmed the country very much, and the finest mver m the world was the Wauganm. Of couise, we knew that, but lie sand he had been on the Rhine, and, although it had a lot of old ruins on its banko, it did'n't excel the Wanganui. Later on he reckons the Wanganui will have some l uins on its banks if the team goetj back that way and are banquetted and praised as per sample. * * * <^lSlr. M. A Noble is a deadily serious young man, with a vein of humouii that Is dry There isn't anything flippant about M.A.N., and his kindly critical remarks about New Zealand ancket couild give no offence to 1 any sensible person. He says New Zealand soil isn't good enough to grow a wicket and of course the.re was a roar of derision. New Zealanders. peihap> happily, cannot coiiiceave anything bettei than thenown country contains, but, all the same, New South' Wales soil is the most marvellous in the world under ii rigation conditions. Mr. Noble 1 emarked that Australians admired everything in New Zealand except the l'quor laws. of Mr. Noble\ most petitinent remarks was that the hotels were closed at ten in many places, and the Australians were asked to drink liquor at these kind of social gatherings until twelve at night. In fact, the Australian skipper is evidently a deeply-thoughtful and very earnest person. Clem Hill spoke, but the dark gentleman to the press's right front hadn't been removed bodily at the t-me Clem was at it. andi so the only per-on audible was the dark gentleman. If the concentrated apiplauise of the scatherine; throughout the eveninig could be gathered! up it would surcply motive power for a Union steamer.

Dowie appeared ,b Santa Claius to 2000 children in Zion City on Chi lstmais Day and distributed gift® to them all. He aftei wards removed his cLsguiNe, and explained that tfoeie was no such individual as< Santa Claus." So a Yankee paper says. 'Remov.ng the disguise" is good Presumably John Alexander used a razoi . Mark Hambouig, the Russian pianist with the leonine mane of taaar, who punched the piano through the colony about a yeai ago, has been reeling off his lmpiesioiKs about us lately at Home. Someone of the Sootch persuasion must have lett an enduring impression u-on Mark. We judge so from the fact that he sums us up thusly — 'New Zealand is largely populated by Sootch people, who aie mostly fair. But the inhabitants of New Zealand are becoming daiik. Their speaking voices aie really beautiful." Scotch, fair, and with a leally beautiful speaking voice — who ir> she? * * * \JGfenual William Simm will be missed at Te Aro House and elbe where, for his unfailing courtesy and bonhomie to the public and his subordinates duung a great number of years have made him much liked. Still, it is \ ef resiling to know that the firm's assistant manager is going to be the manager for Messrs. Blythe and Co., at Napier. Always, of course, a busy man, Mr. Simm has still found time to help found the Wellington Rowing Club, and he was on the committee for some years. He is a keen lovei of Shakespeare, and was among the devoted band of mitelleotuail persons who founded the Shakespeare Club here, a fact that the olub has gracefully recognised. * » * . Simm has, in his time, played a part, in football management, for he represented the Wednesday Afternoon Clubs on the Wellington Rugby Union for several seasons in times past. It is reoognised by those who know Mr. Simm best that his friendship is worth having, and that the enthusiasm he brings to bear on matters he interests himself in always helps towards successful achievement. JVfr. Simm is a Scot whose whole ooloniLal working life (twenty yeans or so) has been spent m the service of the fiim he is leaving. Fiom appi entice through all grades to awbistant manager is his industrial histoiy. About lowing Mr. Simm and Mr. J. Wateis (now of the Harbour Board staff) went in for the pans championship at Kaaapoi several years ago. While going all out one of the Lyttelton boat's ciew poked a hole m the Waters-Simm boat with a.n oar, a>nd the angry waves got in. Despite the water-logged oondition of the boat, the doughty double valiantly brought their boat over the mile 1 and a-half course, and finished a good second, stimulated by the delighted applause of the populace. Mr. Wateis took no chances, m those rowing days of his. Before entering a boat he invariably brushed his hair to shiny smoothness, and parted it m the middle. This may have had something to do with the beauty of \vv- balance. * * * vMr Simm has been a membei of the Wellington Diamat.c Students' Club, and secretary in 1895. He played Farrington in "The Magistrate," a piece the club Dut on with much success in 1894 and 1897 The club's most notable achievement was during Jubilee week, 1897. when it put on "The Magistrate," '"The Schoolmistress," "The Hobby Horse," and 'The Aiabian Nights," all within the week — a record. Mr. Simm, during his lone service at Te Aio House, has =een the whole of the original staff and the proprietors leave, one by one, until he is the only old original left, and he really isn't so very hoary after all.

Dreadful truly ! Champion runner Shi abb thanks that the best things to eat and drink aie the things one. likes be^t. He "always found) beer a great help. It's no use a man tiymg to run races on tea andi soft stuff." But, of coui^e, six men out of a dozen would ' crack up" on beer — especially colonial beer. Thei c isn't any royal road to running. So Stuart Robinson tells us, anyhow, and suiely ha ought to know. * » * C. E. Archibald, assistant chief clerk in the Lands and Survey Depaitment, is cuttuig aduft from. Wellington to be a chief olerk m the Auckland office of the Department. The modest ex-Thames boy will be missed, for he ha^ been intimately -assocaaited for some years with volunteering, and with the Petone Navals (Garrison Artillery). Mr. Archibald got the military fever when about six years ago somebody fired at a. rabbit and the word went round that the Russians were om, the hoiizon. He joined the Civil Service Rifles, and became corporal. He used to see a ma,rch past or two, and got an idea that the "Navals" were the smartest crowd on parade, and 1 so he and Mr. Wood got elected to lieutenancies one oven ng Now of course, as you know, Mr. Archibald is captain commanding the corps. \Mr. Archibald has an organising mind, and so he instituted! the annual Sounds cruise, of which four have been held to date. The men steam to Picton, then lowei the cutter and dodge about for a week. It says something: for the keeniness of the "Navals" and the blindness of the Defence authonties, that each man pays his own expenseo. Mr. Aichibald tells how he was leading his company one evening on a "march out" down Lamb ton Quay. Suddenly a shrill military command rang out "Com — pan — y, halt!" and the corps halted like one man. There was a, juvenile snigger from the lear, and the boy who had given the command didn't seem to be anywhere about. The mihtaay spirit is very strong in the breasts of Wellington juveniles. • * * JWi-. Archibald is an old Thorndon School boy, and gathered in a scholarship which took him to Wellington College. Subsequently, he passed his Civil Service examination, and entered the Survey Department as a cadet. Questioned why he didn't go to Africa to John Ah Bull, he said he didn't want to go with any of the earlier contingents because it wasn't very safe, amid subsequently, when things were safer, he missed his chance. Of course he smiles here, and you do too. He is rather pioud that the Petone Navals Juave the only V.C. man — that is, the only V.C. active volunteer, for there is one other, a station-master, in New Zealand. « • * wHe tells us it is somewhat difficult to set "Bill" Hardham to wear his decorations on parade, although, of course. "B 11" is not obeying Army orders when he turns out in "review oidler" without them. Still, "Bill" was ever modest, and when in the Coronation Contingent, for purposes of photography al-ways-hid behind Colonel Porter. "Bill refused a commission in the Navals, and us a petty officer only but hold* a lieutenant's commission in the New Zealand Militia. He is entitled to a salute which he never gets, and! all troops must "present arms" to the V.C. . a thing they never do. Besides, Bill doesn't want them to. ♦ • • vTo revert to Mr. Archibald. He was responsible for the foundation of the Old Petone Navals' Association., which has been coming to light lately by challenging the Wellington men in cutter racing and rifle shooting, and he wants the strength of the corps, which is now 97, to rise to its full establishment ot 104 before he leaves for Auckland.

Was it rneiely a coincidence? The Hon. John Rigg wwars r in Chimstcihiurch the other day in. the interests of the I.L.P. (Independent Labour Party), and had a good deal to say on its behalf. Mi. And lew Collins was also there, and allowed himself to fall into the hands of a press mtei viewer, who extracted l his views about the split in the labour camp. Next day Chnstcthurch was able to compaie the gospel according to Andiew from the Liberal and Labour Fede/ration point of view with tihe gospel according to John from the Independent Labour Aspect. If they are travelling the same loute they lnnght economise on the exes, by engaging the same halls and taking a "'turn" each. N J. G. Wilson, ex-M.H.R., head! rf the Farmers' Unaon, is assessor for tlhe owners in the Flaxbourne land purchase case, at Blenheim, the Hon. T. Kennedy McDonald be^ng assessor for the Government. Ghristehurch "Spectator" is busy wondering how the latter gent.'s claim for fees will get past the Auditor-General, seeinig there is a disqualifioataon against members of Parliament taking over £1 per diay from the State for "services rendered." It says Kennedy Mac. is not. the man to work for a month or so for that much ! * * * i^George Barnes, the herald angel of the Stephensom Musical Comedy Company, with has crisp hair cut in the French oheveaux de fnse style, looked in on us the other day, andi owned! up to being a New Zealander. We thought he was rather a good-look-nig chap. When George was swatting at Chinstohurch Boys' High School he threatened to become a lawyer, but an illness nipped the early ambition in the bud. George drifted away on a health hunt to Australia, and found a job ahead of an Australian, theatrical company. Later he was lassooed by George Musgrove, and has toured triumphantly around for some years now, and knows the civilised earth pretty intimately for so young a man. at the High School, George imbibed a love for acting, and was among the "stars" at the amateur munmiings given by the school. He has a recollection of his triumph in "Horace at Athens," a builesque classic or a classical burlesque. He is strong in' Shakespearian parts, having played Bottom. George belonged 1 to the school first eleven and first fifteen. Arthur Sams, the New Zealand representative cricketer, who will probably captain, the New Zealand team against Cousin Kangaroo, had the honour of George's companionship at school, and Eno Harper, of the New Zealand football team for England, and a champion athlete, shares the same distinction. Mr. Delamare, 8.A., editor of "The Spike," is also included among George's play-fel-lows. But, they're all grown up now, especially George. * * * "'Mr. Page, City Treasurer, is a keen cricket enthusiast, and he remember-> oricket clear back to the days when the very best players sallied forth to welt the leather attired in bell-toppers. It was a very excellent and very British idea, because one could! .so easily tel l who were "gentlemen" and who were "players." But, Mr. Page's* memory also takes him back to the days of oldtime bowler Alfred Minn, who was a ponderous person, who made the earth shake when he ran to the wicket. He ■was the fastest und'er-arm bowler who ever lived, and if he hit the wicket there was firewood. Mostly they used to use iron-piping when Minn bowled. No wicket-keeper came closer to the wicket than twenty-five yards when. Alfred was bowline, and 1 then he used a coat to stop the ball. Mr. Page relates that when a wicket-keeper tried to stop a Minn ball with Ms ©oat the ball passed rae^ht through, the garment, and killed a dog that was passing peaceful]y along outside the ground!

v/\Ye had a chat the othei daj with Mi. Geoige Dariell, who, foi di longer time than a 113. othei In nig aatist, nas stood vi the loiehont of the colonial stage. George started on the pi ess, ana, although the stage veiy speedily claimed him for its. own, he lias always had an itching palm foi a pen a.nd a learn of foolscap. Witness, the pU\s he has turned out to illustiate colonial life— all bieez\ productions,, racy of the soil, and instinct with the coloiu, the personality, and the atmsopheie of these lands under the Southern Cio^. -r * * v/ A, a matter of fact, Geoige Dai 1 ell staited his stage caiee-r in New Zealaind about thuty j eats ago. He «as a lunioi reporter on a Dunedm papei, and haidly out of his teen-, when a stock dramatic company came along with that fine, all-iound tiagecLenne, Mi & . Robert Hem, as the bright paitioular stai. Geoige Dan ell was a comely youth, with flaxen hair, and they wanted a jeune piem.er. He signed on, and six months afterward, had mained the Widowed Mrs. Robeit Hen, at the Thames, and was playing leading roles in a round' of such classical phvyo as "The Love Chse," 'The Honey moo 1, "The School for Scandal," 'She Stoops to Conquei," and soon. / * * „ stock actors of those days, ' lemaikedMr Da rell meditatively were moie versatile and equa.l to more ambitioub wo<ik than the stock actons of the present day They weie moie frequently called upon to play Shakespearian roles and to appear in the legitimate drama. Iw as married at the Thames, and I remember that at that time w e weie staging a fiesh classical piece every night. Every day I had a newrole to woik up." ' Seveial of the actors that weie associated with Mr. Da.nell in the seventies aie 111 his piesent company. Oily Deermg, who ha* played everything from broad faice to high tiagedy, fiom heavy father to Joey the Clown is one. Hany Hodson is another. Miss Lawrence, the leading lady, is the daughtei of two veiy old New Zealand favourites Mi. and Mrs. R. L. Lawrence (Came Geoige;. # Mr. Dai rell has a blight son of eighteen (by hiis marnage with Miss Chrssie Peachey), who is just about leaving college in Sydney to join his father on the stage. 'But," added the veteran actoi , "theie is not the oppoitunity there once w<n, on the colonial stage to tram m the higher walks ot the profession." Mr. Darrell like.-, playing in the Old Cbuntiv, and duiing his leceait visit Home he appealed in a round of the legitimate playing, amongst other roles in that of "Othello." He has also just finished a new drama, which Mr. J. C. Williamson lias in hand, and of which great things are spoken. By-and-hve the public will be ahle to iudge for themselves. At this stage the call-hoy gave his signal, and George Darrell stepped forth in white flannels to point the moral and adorn the tale in the last act of "The Mystery of a Hansom Cab." z * ■» * -Mr. Nigel Ivan Maikham, who w. is a captain 111 New Zealand's Sixth Contingent, recently died at Home. He w a-s a son of Admiral Sir Albert Maikham, and certainly one ot the most lovable men 111 the Volunteer •sGivice of New Zealand. Captam Mark ham wa& one of the dashing, daie-dovil kind, and had a remaikable aptitude foi spending money on othei people, and being a very good fellow indeed. For some years he 1 elided in the Waikato, and also followed the mining will-o'-the-wis.d during the Upper Thames boom. Many of his old' company lesident 111 Wellington will be grieved to hear of his death, for he was a gallant officei who fully eained the distinction of being mentioned in despatches It is thought that the arduous duties of campaigning undea-mined Mr. Markhams health. * * * "Some people," says Bishop Nehgan, ''think Imperialism consists in waving a twopenny flag and singing 'God Save the King.' " And some paireons get a reputation for holiness by denouncing the frailties of the people without in any way helping them to do better 3 But why a "twopenny" flag? * * • Dowie has whiskers. Therefore whiskers are right. Here him on ohm coverings . — "I do not think much of you that shaye — for being so foolish as to shave. God Almighty put a beard there. Why do -you go for a weekly scrape, like a pig ? If you hare any beard, let it grow. You women are responsible for the 1 bare-faced condition of your husbands. Do not let the women act the part of a Delilah, and induce you to take off your beard. If a woman will not marry you because you keep it, then let her go. Women, keep your hands off." On this line of reasoniwig, it would be wrong to cut your nails, or even to trim the beaid. And we had no idea that trigs went in for a weekly scrape — though nothing would surprise us about what happens to the pigs in "Zion."

'-tJohn Rigg is unloading himself of borne very pretty sentiments. Just lately he said they i\ere bewdmg the wroiiig kmd of men to Parliament. The merchant and the faime. ''weie all very well," but not good enough. It was best to "catch them young," and tiain them for a Parliamentary caieer As for "catclung 'em young," alieadv politics is too much of a profession in New Zealand. James MacMahon, ' the Mighty Atom," feels moie pi ohihitioiust than ever since the last Lance camo out. It came about in this ■wise. He was arranging country dates for his dramatic company, and couldn't undei stand why in one backblocks to^n Satuid«iy uiwht was barred against him. Bomface either owned 01 bad the letting of the local theatre. James stuck out foa Saturday night. Boniface flatly refused to give way. "What's the little game, anyhow p " asked the Atom "Well, it's just this," explained' the hotel-keeper, "you can have the public five nights of the week all right, but Saturday night I leserve to myseilf, and they must be set free to spend then* brass over the ba,r. See." MacMaho-i sees, and is going to hoist his oanvais sign, "The Ro<id to Ruin," over that pub * * * Buller's big-whiskeied M H.R Mr. Colvin, is pained to heai that he is to be called to the Legislative Council. He desires to say he knows nothing about it and won't have it, and all that sot t of thing, and he's going to keep on helping the Bullentes all he knows. * # # Detective Bioberg ,the oaipturer of murderer Ellis, is a happy man. You remember Ellis, during the hearing of the evidence in the Magistrate's Court, made a dramatic interjection asserting that some of the evidence given by the detective was untrue. It was in -elation to the incident of tihe meeting of the detectave and the criminal, and f he manner vi which the latter sprang back and held 1 has rifle. There was something of the "sport" in the miserable man's composition! when, he, after his conviction and sentence, removed any imputation there may have been against the detective's veracity by stating that all his evidence had been true. One would have thought the murderer would have been too much concerned with his own impending doom to worry about the police, whom he might very well regard as his natural enemies.

Mr. Dalgleish, Premier of Westi-aha, \va=. a police olerk in Melbourne eight yeai* ago. He "went down" badly when he "put up" for a Victorian seat, but migrated West, got a job in the Civil Service, put up again, and was niiad'c member for three million, five hunched thousand square mile* of sand. Only five months ago lie was the merest pawn on the political chess board. Government defeated', Laboiu Party in power, Dalgleash leader of Labour Party chosen Premiai . Political ronwirpes «ne strangei than "Arabian Nights" stories. # * • Colonel Ricardo, recently appointed commandant of the Victorian forces, got. the job to run the Westralian troops when he oame back from Africa. The gallant Colonel was officer commanding the First Queenslandeirs m Africa, and you will remember that a Queensland paper, that madie allegations reflecting on his conduct in the held, had to pay up handsomely. Tins docwi't altei the fact that the gallant Colonel was not worshipped! by his men, who possibly thought has discipline too severe If Colonel R/ioaird© halted 1 for vi day or two, barrack hfe was the ordei of the day uiwJer his command. Bugles blared, troops presented; arms, and all the rest of it. • * • Coloneil Ricardo was senior colonial officer on the march to the reildef of Kimberley, and when the column' halted jubt outside the. dbamond. city the enemy di-opped a few futile shells, aanong the New Zealandens. They naturally assumed ' Boer formation." The gallant Colonel said something about keeping them for a quarter of an. hour under fire, which was resented as perhaps reflecting on the oouiragie of the troops. The New Zealanders' commanding officer pleasantly reinairked that has mien would willingly go wherever ihe Queensland officer might lead. And they went to Maefarlane's Farm, Droll-field, and rather wished they hadn't— under Colonel Ricardo.