It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume V, Issue 239, 28 January 1905, Page 22

It is Town Talk

—That many a local man would discard his shabby suit if tailor, were not so economical. —That the tramway clocks, dotted about the vauous lines, are a boon and' blessing to men and women— w hen they "go." —That many a man who believer he can read his future in the eyes of the girl he loves gets tripped up over hei "noes." —That amongst the latest inventions in New Zealand is a moustache guaicf for spoons. And if one is not a. "fipoom," what then? —That a scutcher in a Fox ton sawmill scutches no longer. He gets £3000 by the death of a lelative. He may now become a "hemp"loyer. That the tempoiary financial embairassment of a Thomdon infant caused great excitement, but the threepenny bit he &w allowed has been recovered. —That at the banquet given to Mi . Seddon at Inglewood not a single word of politics was spoken It is possibly the first of its kind since Richard' became king That Chi istohuroh bohool -child len now have a penny school newspaper. That style of teaching is a distinct advarce in education, and can't help beaiing good fruit. — That a Hobart paper chides Wellington's recklessness m raising a children's choir of seven hundi ed voices, seeing that the crust of the earth is so thin hereabouts. —That the Giaborne people did things thoiouighly at the recent bowling tournament. When it was decided to hold the meeting there, the citizens subscribed £300 in two hours. — That if the crew who &aw the i=easerpent, about which we recently had a cable, come to WeLluigton, Mr. Moore should wrestle with them, and make them sign the pledge. — That Andra' Cainegie recently imported his family piper frae Scot! an', to sound the wild pibroch at a New Yoik dinner he gave. The death rate in Noo Yark was vera heavy that week — That the 'cute-st youngster to date is the Te Aro kiddie, who found a fhepound note. He changed the note before he handed it to the ow net Win p Well the ownei could reward him more easily. — That an ardent desire to bell house property is now very general nn Wellington. Strangers will be glad to heair they can obtain a house for twice it«> value m any pait of the city and suburbs — That the revenue stamps on one patent medicine returned nearly £326,000 to the Biitish Treasure last year. Perhaps you think the New Zealand regulation will ruin patent-medi-cine people. — That Lady Ranfurly is not getting re-acchmatised very i apidly She has had much sackness at Home. Perhaps she might be persuaded to again reside amongst us, and get better. She would be heartily welcomed. — That the Governor, afteir vne'wing Rotorua,, remai ks that he agrees with the gentleman who designated New Zealand "God's own country." We thought the gentleman with the clovem foot had a hem on Rotorua. — That the Japanese AdJmiral who turned traitor, and was beaten to death by his- felloiw officers, began his caireei in the paragraph of a Yankee papei Japanese journalists have taken the trouble to contradict the story — -That the new motor perambulatoi is able to develop a speed of only foui miles an hour The baby-carneir has* a ' start her" and "stop her" level , so that if nursie goes in shopping there may be fun when baby staits and can't stop — That it is evidently quite tiue that the "bad eggs" have cleared out of Wellington. A grocer left Ims bike leaning against a lamp-post all one recent might. It was there in the mornmg, witlh a tack in each tyre. Merely boys. — That the Melbourne health authorities have been tracking the deadly sausage to its lair. Of sixty-eight sausages examined none were found to be pure, and the "pork" sample wasn't pig meat. The person who writes saving that few Wellington sausages aie anything but frauds is possibly suffering from bias.

—That half -a-niil lion poundb weie gambled in New Zealand during the holidays. Dear old toto l Wicked bookmakers ! — That a local parent hat. cliristened his Litest 'Arthur Nogi Stoewsel." Veiilv the kiddy starts out with a heavy handicap. — Thait Oity Engineer Mouton is. hopeful when lie asks it theie is a probability of the new Hutt Road being made within six yeais. — That what a pei^on ha* himself m-ade he can as easity destio\ The Australian workman and the Arbitration Act is aji example — That only one juivenile smokei was spotted bv the Wellington police m the wiide of last \ear' Police spectacles must be veiy defective. — That the Italian Government calls on available Gmseppes in Wellington to i oil up foi conscription. In thewoids of the poet "What a hope'" — That, aocoiding to Auckland "Star " "axe chopping oompetit'ons are not without danger." The man who would' chop an axe is no sport. — That many British clergy told the British working men in 1904 how very wicked they weie. The Salvation Aimy gave them three million meals. — That they have been discussing the tiemeiid'ous question, "What is a gentleman p " throughout Australia and the prevailing "gag" is, "Ask a policeman." — That during the recent ' heat wave" m Canterbury (125 deg in the sun) auate a number of people' went to bed in the sink, with the water i Tinning on their feet. — That the 'Times" repoits the case of a ' fevei -stricken barque." Uigent enquiries prove that it was not the barque that had ferver but the ciew of the said barque. — That the quotation Theie is> a divinity that shapes our ends,'' is peculiaily applicable to a fair manicuiiNt who is doing a rushing business in Wellington just now. — That there are quite a numbei of Ne^v Zealand old age pensioneis and people i eceivmg charitable aid who wouldn't swap billets with the Czai of all the Russian just now — That the gallants of the Hinemoa were first to get to the wrecked ' Nambucca " They took the headlight, mam truck blocks, etc., as mementoes. Her funnel wais "just a wash " — That the tiams aie getting perceptibly slower, possibly as a safeguaid agaimst accidents. When the tiains ti avel quickly, the people scoot into safety When they crawl, the people crawl too. — That the in create in the convictions for di un.kenn.ess lecorded in the S M Court statistics is due rather to exti a poilice vigilance than to extra drink. It is a revival of the "one more stagger and m you go" principle.