It Is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume V, Issue 233, 17 December 1904, Page 22

It Is Town Talk

That the latest topio of oonversation in. the Wawarapa is "Why Smoith left Home." That Chnistchuroh lias now a lady mspector-^tramc, smells, etc. Imagine a female James Doyle ! — That it's a proud man Detective Broberg is thia day imfcoirely. Beg oarckm; he's not an Insiknaai after all, is h&? —That the coopers of New Zealand are making a great thing out of small barrels just now. They call them "bona fide travellers." — That last week the Treasury was enriched by twelve hundred 1 pounds palltax on Chinamen. We are very angry about those Band Chows. — That the estimated value of the potato crop in Auckland this season was £60,000, and 1 two-thirds of tlhis has been destroyed 1 by the Irish blight. — That Ashburton unlicensed victuallers have formed an association to rxroteot their interests, establish a fund for court costs, and to arrange the: next election campaign. — That a fortnoight gives New Zealand girls precious little time to ensnare tihe young lords, Lewisfoam and! Anson, wiho grace the colony with tiheir presence almost immediately. That the quaint defence of an upcountry sihopkeeper, who ejected 1 the inspector from his premises, was that he merely did so preparatory to "shouting" for that gentleman. The court smiled. — That "The Spectre's Bride" audience made it manifest to the president of the Musical Union that they were out for a concert, and! not a lecture They could stand! a "gill " but not a quart. — That Opposition Leader Massey has arranged his Cabinet in anticipation of Dick Seddon's departure for London and the Hieh Oomimssionership. But Sii Joseph has a word or two to say to that. That, in eommein<tdng on, the allegation about the* "falling out" between tihe Premier and) Sir Joseph Ward, a country maper refers to Mr. Seddon. as "The Right Hon," amid to Sir Joseph as "The Left Hon." — That Westport, which has now a Carnegie chanty library, is anxious to "obtain a large photograph of the American benefactor, for exhibition in the reading-iroom ; must be cheap." The last phrase is too lovely. — That the Westrahan who lecently won a t>nze for the loudest tnombome solo ("The Death of Nelson") was congratulated by the judge, who, as he held his hair on, huskiJv muttered, "My word, a horrible death!" — That large-sized Henare Kaihau, the member for the Western Maori District, us enjoying the advertisement up North of beins "the only member of Parliament that consistently voted against the Shop Hours Bill." — That the City Gounod tackled the Town Hall crowd right manfully. TJpcars were backed up oin tihe d'own-Jime, so as to be nearer the crowd, and Manager Petersen. tunned with a lantern, was himself the guidung spirit of the arrangements. — That a juvenile Nemesis, in the shape of m>any empty houses, is at last overtaking the landlord's of the city. One six-roomed house (30s a week !) in the suburbs has been empty for a whole week. Out at Miramar you can rent them at from 8s 6d. — That the providential bui sting of a water pipe at Winder's comer resulted in the openonig of the Lambton Quay tramway track some daiys sooner than the Council intended. The sacred Council have been positively forced l against bbeir wall to earn money. — That a Greytown councillor, in a abate of virtuous mdhgniatnooi, is reported ho have said to the mayor : "You our, you contemptible cur, if you come outeide 111 knock your nose off !" Like the recent dfuel between two French statesmen, no narm was done 1 ." — That a tragedy of a dreadful character happened at a race meetung last week. Just as a prohibited person was raismig a f oammic pewter of hops to his parched lips Nemises, in the shape of a policeman, tore it from his hands. Prevention is better thlam fines. — That an American visitor retnxarks, in pained surprise, "Gee whiz, stranger, I've been travelling this hyar mudheap of youre fier six all-fired weeks, and blame mo ef I've seem King Dick, or been shook up with an airthquake yet. I'm sliding outer this right quick !"

— That Wellinlgfcomans generally were surprised to learn from Doctor Gibb at the Towin Hall, on Sunday, what a wicked lot they were. — That Ngaliauranga doet. not desire to be imoLudied mi the borough of Johnsonvill©. "A rose by any other name ffoum smell as sweet." — That a Northern papei accuses, Mr. Seddon of making and. collecting laws as a Ibobby, jusit as a philatelist collects unique specimens of stamps. — That a local parson recently gave hiss ooiagregataonis a very plain hjmt that the collections were highly unsatisf acfcory. He preached on the text • "The poor we have always with us." —That an Otaki lady, about to maike the family tea one 1 day last week, found a defunct five-inch snake. Sine dad mat make the tea. The fragrant bohea is warranted "not blended." — That the "Post" is pirouid 1 to have put a "spoke in the wheel" of the "Ward testimonial." An extra epoke always strengthens a wheel. Passably the colloouialiism, required' is "a spragg m the wheel." — -TlhaJt a late rumour is that a Tananaki land! agent is keeping a hnght lookout for a farm for King Dick, .and' that His Majesty will settle dlown, and! till the patch himself, forswear politics, and grow turnips. — That a man m the far South recently hanged himself to a picture nail wiith copper wire. In his pocket was found 1 a puzzle out from a weekly paper. On its margin* was written, mi despairing oalagraphy "I can't dlo it. Good-bye." — That there are thirty f email e teachers m Christchuroh Normal School, and three male teachers. The Department disoouinteniances female teachers by failing to increase tiheir gaLaimeis Suppose all the gairls were to suddenly leave ! — That Mr. Henry Fielder, who supplied a.nd bolted un saxes the chairs in tihe Town Hall, made an excellent job of it, benng especially careful to provide width enough for persons of genenous build. Everyone delighted with the sea/ting accommodation.