Afternoon Tea Gossip

Free Lance, Volume V, Issue 222, 1 October 1904, Page 10

Afternoon Tea Gossip

By Little Miss Muffitt.

A GOOD idea! Somebody suggests that the Hospital shall buy up all the old tram-cars, and use them as shelter sheds for the open-air cure of consumption. I would suggest that if they are so used, they should be steeped in foimahn for a week pieviously. It is incorrect to say that the Russians oannot beat anything. J^? often beat a retreat. They'ie oft befoie the pistol geneially. * * An acute observation from "Cyclops" — 'The journalist has the capacity or thinking in millions sterling foi the common good, while he has not the price of a threepenny cigar about his clothes. Therein lies the secret ot his greatness Goat* in New Zealand aie looked on merely as fit objects to heave rocks at, and as depots for all sorts of edibles from a flannel shirt to a jam-tin. But, it has-been found that goat's milk is proof against tuberculosis, and "nanny may have a good time in the future. Loid Charles Beresford recently told a mixed naval crowd that there weie frequently better gentlemen "forrad than on the bridge and the quarterdeck. And "Jacks" who often find it hard to be "toffs" on a few pence a day, gave thiee hearty British cheers. Tactful chap, Lord Chai las. * * •* A lady wutes me expressing her shocked feelings at the use of the word "blacklegs" in connection with a fao-tory-guls' strike at Home. She considers it immodest. lam sorry that in tin's connection lam bound to call m.,- correspondent a blue-stocking," howerei shocked she may be. + * Australian wuters aie asking what would feminine swelldom do if Australian Governors' wives took the liberty of criticising them and their dress as Lady Plunket has done in New Zealand. I don't know what they would do, but I do know what the criticism ought to do — good. * # * Commander Colquhoun, Avar conespondent to the "Times" in the Far East, but who is 1 eally the figurehead of the Victorian navy, is coming back, and says the war will be over in two months. "Table Talk" leckons that it will be more m consequence of his absence than any material evidence. * * * Very likely the family complications often wired fiom Austi alia aie due to the fact that papa is living away fiom home. La^t year Victorians, in other colonies sent home to their wives £611,073. Most of them live in Wettralia, but it is significant that New Zealand sent about a quarter of a million of the above amount. * * * General Kouropatkin remarked, with a good deal of emphasis, and with his hand upon his tiusty sword, many months ago, that he was going to "sign peace in Tokio in August." Funny thing that he should have forgotten to name the yeai as well as the month. Reminds me strongly of the Christmas dinner the British troops wei c going to eat in Pretoiia in 1900. No nation seems to take the enemy much into account * # * Often wonder if the Governor has learnt the Morse code of semaphore signalling. Both he and our esteemed late Governor, Lord Ranfurly, in public wave their headgear in a dot and dashy way. Understanding the code myself, I distinctly made out on one occasion that Lord Plunket signalled "God Save the King" between Parliament Buildings and the wharf. Royal and v^'ce-regal hat doffing or saluting is interesting For instance, H.R.H. the Duke of York, in acknowledging salutes, merely scratched his bearskin with his fingers turned inwards. Her Majesty the late Queen Victoria, who was latterly physically unable to bow repeatedly on trying public occasions, continually moved Her seat in the carnage Was fitted with .springs, which, agitated slightly gave the Queen the appearance of bowine: in acknowledgment of the plaudits of her loving subjects.

A countiy paper lemaiks, a propos of tho prohibition of shoddy . "If farmers am toiced to go to the plough in broadclotJi, it should be made compulsory foL navvies %Q wear bell-toppers."

Pleasing extract from a letter written by a New Zealander travelling in America . — "Eveiy one that I have met, Americans as well as Englishmen, has nothing but praise for New Zealand generally and all hei works, and 'Dick' Seddon m particular."

Miss Thorneywall has the distinction of being a guest of the King, because of her marvellous aptitude for bridge. She is the most skilful player in Britain. Takes you right back to Tranby Croft and baccarat, police courts and Gordon Cummmgs, doesn't it? What a blessing a good memory is !

A Smithfield butcher, who had dined oh" New Zealand sheep's head, found that the jaw-bone panned off good colouis of gold. It seems all the animals that went to London with, the goldenjawed sheep were similaily gilt, and the London people aie anxiouis to find the New Zealand paddock wheie the potential mutton picks up nuggets. The curious thing about the tale is that it is not American.

A Marist Brother in Adelaide was bailed up by a revolvei -aimed burglar in the Brothers' School the othei day. The buiglar threatened to shoot if the pi iest didn't show him the way to the valuables. "Ri^ht you are," said the priest, turning suddenly, and leading the way. The burglar lowered the ievolver, and the father stepped back, grabbed the gentle Sykes, pushed him into a room, locked tihe door, and rang un the police. Not too slow, eh?

Newtown has its quaint characters. One ancient relic of a bygone respectability approaches hurrying city men in th" mornings, holding twopence. He offeis to toss the citizen for twopence. If he wins, he slakes his parched clay. He also has a rather reprehensible habit of taking a couple of insanitaiy pipes mto tobacconists' shops with the idea of exchanging them for a new one. He alleges, of couise, that he is an "M A. of Oxford."