It Is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume V, Issue 221, 24 September 1904, Page 22

It Is Town Talk

That Loi d Roberts recently admitted he was blind! m one eye. Kitchenei , too, wears a glass one. That t' other-side barbers now iuii "antiseptic" saloons. Theie's a geim in this for local culture. That the Kaisei's latest ambition seems to be to get ci owned in London. Uncle Ted will be delighted. That Paderewski ait Dannevuke "kissed two children with much warmth." They gave him bouquets. That a British bishop has justmairied an American widow with a million dollars. He swapped his mitre for hei mite. That people in the know are offeiing heavy oddsi that a tramway will be taking large numbers of passengeis to and from Seatoun within two years. That the supply of domestic servants in Christchurch is greater than the demand, and consequently Christchurch is putting on heaps of side just now. That tired people in Willis-«treet now kill two bn ds with one stone. They can read the "Post's" news-bill and watch the tramways being laid at the same time. That two Tattersall's sweep tickets have been found in the lost purse of an Auckland High Church clergyman. The reward was rather a sweet one to the finder — palm oil. — That a Wellington man, who stepped on a tiain while it was in motion on Thursday afternoon was not fined, but the lady whose train it was will 6ue him for a new one. — That the Marlborough Expi ess says Fehx Tanner has decided to abandon his "proti acted" cruise in No. 3 Aik. No oiuise that Felix ever mates is likely to be protracted. — That all Russian hotels are Statecontrolled. Revenue, thirty-two millions per annum, and little drunkenness Why is it that sober people are f i equently barbarians? — That Rudyard's powei is on the •wane. Most papers now persist in calling him "Mr." Kiplmg. Who ever heaj-d of 'Mi." Milton, or "Mr." Cowper, or "Mr." Shakespeare? — That the clients of a certain clairvoyante had their faith gieatly shaken the other day when they discovered that the party w ith the alleged second-sight was advertising for a lost hand-bag. — That Paderewski's New Zealand visit has given a big impetus to the piano trade. There is added agony in store foi people who have to listen to youngsters who aie not Padeu ewskus — That it is indeed eminently Russian for the Czar to commend the "heroic retreat" of his troops. A Wound in the back is probably a muchBought honour in the Russian service. — That local tradesmen intend to kill the fatted calf, close down their shops, and have a jubilee on the day when the tramlines are at rest, and the middle of the road is not thi own against thenshop doors. , — That the library subscriber who advertises that he has found a "fivei " — evidently used as a book-markei— m a book, finds that 363 people are in the habit of using this expensive kind of book-maiker. — That cruelty to childien in farming districts is so common, and so rareK punished adequately, that it is only a matter of time before inspectois must be appointed to protect the young from the adult — That a Westrahan paper politely refers to New Zealand's Legislative Council as "The House of Wooden Images." Seeing how the Council is loved by the people. ' idols" would express it bettei — -That eight thousand sheets of foolscap wei c used in taking the evidence in a iong-drawn-out Native Land Court case in the Bay of Plenty district. And some people begrudge Judge Jackson Palmei his billet ' — That the passenger, bound for Sydney who was advised by another passenger to hand over his money to the "purser" in unifoim, did so one day last week He now knows there are "confidence" men about. — That there is sense in King Dick's idea, that the stranded glass-blowers should be able to turn their hand's to other jobs. One of the most successful dairy farmers in this province was once a London paperhanger.

— That Napier has no hbiary. It might get one by debasing it-self, and asking Carnegie. — That it was in August, 1901, that a. Northern papei piedicted that 'the Govci nraent will mn its own coal-yards m thiee months." Whab long months l — -That a man was charged in a Southern court with burgling the house of his fiancee's fathei . His idea was to get some money with which to buy | her piesents. Engagement off —That an up-country Chinaman recently married a well-to-do white lady. John was immaculately attired in fiockcoat, bell-topper, and an eye-glass. The account says they will spend their honeymoon in Wellington. —That an advertisement poster of the Right Hon. the Pi emier of the Commonwealth in bathing dress has been foi cibly 1 emoved', bv the authorities. The picture of a lady so dressed would not have been removed. — That it seems likely the Thibetans, who pounded' the British mission with bamboo guns, will shortly carry the up-to-date .303. Sergeant Tommy Atkins will be set to "drill 'em white." They will help to bump the Russian out. — That every morning two black swans take up a position on the smiling waters of Evans Bay. Aheady some vandals are talking about going gunning. We expect the owners of the adjacent sea will prohibit this. — -That a wire, received by a local man yesterday, reads • "Prince of Wales washed for first time this month to-day. Will wire result later." The item comes from the West Ooast . No reflections intended on the heir to the throne. — That seeing that house property is not going off at such a rapid rate in Wellington as formeily, buildeis may find time to put some decent work into new erections. A wind and weatherproof house is one of the novelties of tins city. —That the Federal Laboui Party has introduced a bill which, if carried wll prevent private people dnving their own caniages unless they obtain a license like any other jehu. It wall hit back. When the "boss" is driving the coachman is at home having a spell. — That a Dannevirke mathematician has calculated that if all the men engaged in the battle of Liaoyang were to stand shoulder to shoulder they would 1 each as fai as from Wellington to Napier. But, we're very glad they haven't reached even Wellington yet — That a Gisborne man was sent to gaol recently for using evil language before children, but a short time ago a man who had used vile words in a school play-ground, before ciowds of kiddies, was discharged because a school-ground is not a "public place." Long ears again !