All Sorts of People

Free Lance, Volume V, Issue 217, 27 August 1904, Page 3

All Sorts of People

HIS Excellency, Lord Plunket, had a,n extremely wi etched! trip to Chnstchurch in the Hmemoa, and the press of that city is apologising like anything about it. His whimsical lordship attributed the blame to the Premier, who had given him the Hinemoa. Some people a while ago were much annoyed because Mi. Seddon wouldn't give Loid Ranfurly the Hmemoa. They will now know that, although Mr. Seddon doesn't mind discomfort himself, he doesn't always desire to inflict discomfort on the gentleman who, for the timte being, has the occasional use of one of Mr. Seddon's boats. * * • It has always been a source of wonder to us that our legislators, in all their law-making efforts, have never passed a prohibitory Act against Mock Parliaments. The Wellington Litei ary and Debating Society's Union last week perpetrated one of these things. Just imagine the opening of a Mock Parliament with Sir Robert Stout as patron, the Hon. Tee Kay Mack as Governor, and the Rev. W. A. Evans as Speaker! It was a oold and wintry night, and his "Excellency" delivered a speech from the Throne that hit the denizens of half-empty "galleries" like a slab of ice. It was a twenty-minutes' paraphrase of the latest Speech from the Throne without even a reference to the football match. When Governor Macdonald retired into the gallery with the common folk, the debate on the Address-in-Reply began. Usually, the Leader of the House waits until his sharpshooters have drawn the fire of "the other side's" big guns before he comes into action But, in the Union Parliament, Premier Graham took the first shot. This rising youns; member of the Devil's Own is the hustler of the staff of Messrs. Bell, Gully Bell, and Myers, and is the son of Nelson's M.H.R. He has a Wardlike rapidity of language, and rattled off his speech with a volubility that reminded us of volley-firing at Trentham. He spoke of "mv Government" with all the unction of King Dick himself, and thumped his peroration into the table with the Seddonian emphasis. * * * The Leader of the Opposition, appi opriately enough, was a member of a prominent Consei vative family, Mr. H. P. Richmond, who, like the numio Premier, has the pleasure of writing those mystic Signs of Cram, 1( B A., LL.8.," after his name. Mr. Richmond forsook journalism some three or four years ago, after giving it a trial on the Chnstchurch "Press" and the "Evening Post," and settled down in Messrs. Skerrett and Wylie's office. This was but natural, for the Rich monds take to the law — either the laying down of it or the practice of it — as easily ais the Atkinsons take to politics. It may be that H. P. R- will conioin polities with law, for he got off some good things in his reply to his learned young friend Graham's administration. He declared, for instance, that "the party in power was laying the foundations of the colony on balloons of fictitious oratory." But. this latest Richmond in the field fell with a dull thud in one of his flights of oratory He had been animadvertiner, Heirdman-like unon the disgracefully slave-Hke condition of

avil servants. These men, he declaied, were "tongue-tied," and went on to say "And yet they can tell same appalling tales!" Wheneupon, a voice from the Government benches exclaimed "But you said they were tonguetied!" Mi. Richmond fell so suddenly that he lost his breath, and failed to get in a retort. Then, the bell rang, and Mr. A. H. Casey spoke up for the Government. The lengthy one was so ardently an advocate of his party that he expressed a willingness to make a bet that "gentlemen now on the other side wouldn't return to thei House." The "bet" was taken up in a manner that surprised Casey, for, on being appealed to, the Speaker declared that he oould not allow wagering. * * * Mr. A. G. Quartley, who has a large measure of humour, devoted himself mainly to holding up the example of a defunct English yeomanry in iegard to the land question. The young oolle>gian got off a number of witticisms, including a simile that bi ought down the House. The Government, he said, was like Waimangu geyser, in that "it blows, and then sinks back into its own mud." Unfortunately, Mr. Quartley, as m the case of the yeomanry, was again out of date, for Waimangu has grown sulky, or has died, and neither blows nor sinks. * , * * Mr. G. W. Morgan made a weak ie~ ply to the ' Humourist," and, after suffering m patience a running fire of interruptions, made way for the speech of the evening, which was made by Mi . J. S. Barton. Point after point was made by this speaker, and has stones were pat. "The people of the colony," he said, "asked for bread, and,' the Government has given a £15,000 stone to the memory of Queen Victoria. Why ? So that the Government might have its name blazoned abroad. Sweet are the uses of advertisement!" * * * A laughter-raising retort closed Mi . Barton's peroration. "And the land question, gentlemen. What about it? The Government is sitting on a rail !" A voice from the Government benches "But it won't fall over!" "No," retorted Mr. Barton, "it won't fall over, as you say — it will be pushed over!" And there the debate ended, with the picture of the Graham Cabinet floundering in the paddock, and the Oppositionists looking over the fence enjoying the fun. Mr. King O'Malley, the Federal Pailiamentauan, who wailed forth that h' 1 couldn't live on his salary, and vvouH the Government kindly allow him to put up a tent in the Parliament grounds, has had the offer of a job. A travelling showman, ■nhoise piece de ii 3sistance is a negro giantesis, has na le him an offer to travel with the <-'u>w and reel off the "patter" about the fat lady. Mr. O'Malley's answer would be deemed unparliamentary Mr Onell Hovell, a son of Dean Hovell, of Napier, who has been spending his "long leave" in New Zealand, is one of the few young colonials who holds a commission in an Imperial regiment. He has returned to duty with the Man-cbe->ters, which regiment is m Smgapoie. The young lieutenant was intended for an Army career, although he wasn't a bit military looking, and the war was his chance. He was what w as commonly known in Africa as a "remount," joining a New Zealand oorps while in the field. Cuuously, the men of New Zealand contingents had no gi eat love for "re-mounts," who practically used the contingents as a steppingstone to the Army There was no obiection shown to colonials who left New Zealand with contingents obtaining commissions. Mr. Hovell served throughout the campa.ign amd wears both the Queen's and King's medals and five bais.

v A large number of citizens weie pleased) to hear that Miss Payne was oommg back to Wellington to resume her old position as matron of the Hospital. Miss Payne, after spending several years in the position, resigned the mationshirj and became matron of the then newly-established Sanatorium at Rotorua. The change was made for the puipose of recruiting after the strenuous life of the Wellington Hospital. Miss Godfrey, who had preceded Miss Payne in the position, took a tiip to England as her means of recuperar tion. Miss Godfrey, on returning to Wellington, established a convalescent home at Karori * * * it would appear, Miss Payne's successor (Miss Pettit) has found the Empiie City's Hospital something of a strain, and that institution's youngest mation has hit upon the happy idea of exchanging the oity hospital for the Rotorua Sanatorium. Everybody us pleased with the exchange — the Government being convinced that Miss Pettit will make a capital matron, the Wellington Trustees have a green memory for Miss Payne's past services, and both ladies are satisfied. * • •• General Kuropatkin's soldiers feel disheartened, and no wonder, for they have discovered that his baggage includes 1 a coin, with a silver plate bearing that commander's name — so as to be ready for the woist. But, other great men have done the same thing. When the late Li Hung Chang visited Europe and America he earned his coffin with him. Frederick the Great, too, once thought of doing this, but for a coffin he substituted a phial of poison which he was prepared to swallow rather than fall into the hands of his enemies. * # * >yA telegram from Whangaiei recorded the death early in the week of Mr. Chas. Tothill, who founded' the "Northern Advocate," and was a reporter on the "Southern Cross." Mr. Tothill was something else besides a journalist, and did other things, but mention of his connection with Auckland's first daily newspaper is of more than common interest, and recalls an epoch when New Zealand was in the making. The "Southern Cross" was founded away back m 1845 as a weekly, and became a daily in 1862, and in 1878 was absorbed by the "New Zealand' Herald." The successive editors of the "Crossi" weie- Dr. Maj-tm, David Burn, Wm. Brown (also original proprietor), Hugh Carleton, Bacot, McCabe, R. J. Creighton (a part - proprietor, afterwards M.H.R.. and later Government agent for New Zealand at San Francisco), D. M. Luckie (now Deputy-Com-missioner of oui Government Life Department), Chas. Williamson, and Julius Vogel, the versatile pressman-po'htician-Premier. Where is that party now? *■ # • The "Cross" was sub-edited in 18561857 by Mr. James Wood, who left the '"Melbourne Age" to join the "Cross," and subsequently founded the "Hawke's Bay Herald." One of the comps. on the "Ci oss" in its early days was Mr. Henry Brett, who afterwards joined olevei G M. Reed in establishing the "Auckland Star," of which Mr. Brett is still the propiietor. Another "Cross" comp. was Mi . C. A Haszard, who peiished in the Tarawera eruption in 1886 ; and vet another was the late Mr. W. H. J. Seffern, who for so manry years edited the "Taranaki Herald," and who was the uncle of Mr. Jennings, M.H R. Mr. Wm. Smith, who is now at "case" in the Government Printing Office, and Mr. A. F. Warren, who, some few years ago retired from a readership in the Government Printing Office, were also members of the original companionship of the "Southern Cross."

Stories about the late Wilson Barrett a.re all the rage. Here is one . Sir Henry living happened to meet Mr. Wilson Barrett one day, at a time when the latter had just ceased to play Hamlet. "Ah, Barrett," said he, with the Irving mannea*, "what have you been playing?" "Hamlet," answered Mr. Bairett, with the Barrett manner. "Hamlet," giunted Sir Henry. ''Yes, ' said Barrett. A grunt from, Sir Henry. "I say, Irving," sadd Banrett, a bttle nettled, "do you think you ar<e the o;ny actor who can play Hamlet?" "No," leplied Irving quickly — "No, Barrett, my boy ; but I know you are the only actor who can't." * * * Mr. Bedell-Sivright, the stalwart young skipper of the British football team, has shown himself to possess all the tact that a great many of his fellow Scotchmen possess. Curiously, when chances were brightest the skipper hasn't gone out of his way to remark that the young John Bull party with him were about to wipe up the floor with the young John Bull junior party. Said he in Canterbury: "We came cut here to learn something more ;f rossible of the game." Said he in Wellington • "We expect to be beaten." Said he in Taranaki • "We did not come out here to teach New Zealanders footbaill." * • * In fact, throughout the touir the Britishers have shown a very creditable modesty, have refrained *rom speaking about "tricks" and "hanky panky," and have certainly not, after winning a match, issued a memoriam card to the memory of New Zealand football, as some execrable Wellingtanian had the extremely bad taste to do after the defeat at the Wellington Athletic Park. The Britishers have certainly nothing to learn as to their private oonduct * * • "Josh" Clarke has the distinction of being the "last of the lags" in Australia. He recently cheated the authorities of their just due bv dying in Geelong Gaol. He was seventy-five years 1 of age, and had received sentences totalling eighty-five years. * * • Major Taylor, the "Afro- American" cyclist, was something of a sociail lion in Australia. He was entertained by the Very swellest Pott's Pointers. When he got to 'Frisco, however, he got no kind of a show. He was simply a "nigger." No hotel would put himself or his wife ur> and everyone sat on him with a large resounding thud. He got away as fast as the railroad to the Eastern States would take him. He has been so well tieated that he refuses to live with his own race. Hence it is a little likely that he'll turn his front tyre for Australia, where everyone is equal except Kanaka slaves and black gins. * * * The late Sir George Dibbs, the man who "damned Chicago," was one of those sort of men who don't go much on boiled shirts and stiff collars while "off the chain." Sir George had a fine place on the banks of the Parramatta, and he was to be seen oftentimes, attired in moleskins and a singlet, weeding the garden. Another of his pastimes *vas the making of horse-shoes and the carving of walking-sticks, which he always gave away. Within easy memory that a swagsman of burly dimensions once called at the house of Dibbs, and, seeing a white-whiskered' person in working attire belting into a gum tree with an axe, remarked . "Is the old finger in, matey?" Matey said he wasn't. "Well, jest step inter the kitchen, and give us a bit of a hand-out." "You aren't lookin 5 fer work I s'pose, are you P" asked the gardener. "No, I ain't such a flamin' idiot as that!" Then, Sir George gave him the "hand-out," all right, and, as the swaggie hit the^ road, he remarked, "W'y. I do believe it was the old finger hisself !"

itangiuia, the frizzy-haired Maon singer who sang foi Mi. Dix for a time in a drawing-room tenor, has got to a place where the interviewer has discovered in him one of the earth's gieatest marvels. Rangi is eating into the space of the largest of Amencas truthful journals. Rangiuia was, it seems, taken Home to England by the Prince and Princes^ of Wales, who are simply enchanted with him. He has been to court — not the Magistrate s Couit you know — and is a lion of the first power. All of which, of course, is sheer tommy rot. • • • The American papers emphas.se in black type the fact that, although Rangi is generally- absolutely harmless, and quite civilised, his pa was a cannibal and tlus would probably suipnse the eldei Mr. Rangiuia. The American paper s>ay* that when the Maori puts on his native dress he becomes a ' typical savage," and likewise that his voice promises to be one of the most magnificent tenors of our time. Mr. Ranermia, although quite a pleasant young fellow , is not a typical Maori, and theie arc many tenor voices heard every night in Wellington drawingrooms that are better than his. The "World" avers that Rangiuia only cuibs his cannibalistic appetite by the sternest self-control, and hopes' that no one may anger him to hunger. * * * The death of Paul Kruger recalls many good stones that have been attributed to the late ex-P resident. Here is one that ha.s a somewhat faimbar ring about it. When the fiist Australian contingent arrived at Capetown to take part in the Boer war, Mr. Kruger is said to have asked General Joubert if he knew anything about these Australians. "I only know that eleven of them once beat* All England." "Good Heavens'" cried the President, "we are lost ; thirteen thousand of- them have just landed." • • • . Rev. B. L. Thomas is, as you know, leaving the Congregational ministry, to go m for the timber tiade, which causes a Northern pi mt to say . "We don't know whether he intends to eater the ranks of business as an employer, but, if he does, it is safe to reckon that his experience for the next year or two will do some violence to his Seddonaan principles." It may interest the Northern paper to know that, the rev. gentleman, who has not yet quitted the Church, was recently an employer of labour and the chairman of the Conciliation Board, and was cited to appear before that tiibunal for a breach of an award. ♦ * * It is not generally known that amongst the honours held by Piemier Seddon is that of president for New Zealand of the Boys' Empire League. This three-year-old! patriotic society was founded to promote and stiengthen "a worthy spirit" in British boys all over the world, and its motto is "Many countries, but one Empire." It has a national president, and three colonial presidents, Mr. Seddon's associates in the latter honours being Lord Milner (the pro-Chinaman), and the Premier of Manitoba. • « • never oome singly. After putting up a good fight against an opponent who did not appear on a platform, Mr. W H. Hampton was beaten by Mr. Cohen for a seat on the City Council. Next day, Mr. Hampton had a fire in his residence, and he was consequently driven out of Council and home. He shared a house in the city with Secretary Cooper, of the Trades Council, and, as Mr. Hampton lived "underneath," his household goods got all the worst of the fire, and the Brigade's deluge. "Hardluck" Hampton is now living in Newtown. * » ♦ Professor Tucker, who will be 1 emembered as one of the first batch of professors at the Auckland University College, has for many years been Piofessor of Classics at the University of Melbourne, where he has been able to study the classical aspect of the Labour Party. He recently gave his definition of "working man" as follows — "The wot king man is the man who performs work habitually and for his living. Work includes all those labours of body or mind which are demanded by a wholesome and complete social organism in satisfaction of its bodily or mental needs. The term 'working man' has piopeily nothing to do with the amount of remuneration received, or with the nature of the work done. * » * "Professional men, teachers, artists of all sorts, journalists, managers of businesses, clerks, are working men as unequivocally as the carpenter or gardener. The male adults excluded are those who live on their private resources (or possibly on those of other people), owneis of business and properties which they do not manage, pure speculators, and those who, being "born tired,' are voluntarily unemployed." As there are some who still affect to regard the Labour Party as solely representing the party in moleskins. Professor Tucker's definition is put in in rebuttal.

An Auckland jeweller, named Yousuf Abosamia, gives notice in the latest number of the New Zealand "Gazette," tihat "on behalf of myself and Amy Abosamra, my wife, and my piesent amd any future born children, the Christian name of David and the surname of Silk will be assumed, taken, and adopted in lieu of the name of Yousuf Abosamra." Welcome, brothei Britishei ' * ♦ * The late Mr. Wilson Barrett, while in New Zealand, had some tolerably smart persons in hi® company. There was a smart person, who is at this moment "resting" in Wellington, and who is a keen cyclist, He is telling a stoiy about that bike, and lemarks that he never failed to get it passed on the railways here as "scenery." The porter would approach him : "This your bicycle, sir?" "Yes." "Have to pay extra!" "Oh, but that's 'soene'V'" ''What play do you use it in?" The Sign of the Cross.' Nero may have ridden a bicycle, of course. * * * Mr. Brown, the man who "took Kimberley," and who, before and after the African war, was in the employ of Messrs. Castendyk and Focke, is at present wearing a very handsome gold watch-chain and a smile. The "boss" and' fellow-employees gave the chaan to him the other day, when he teft the firm to take a position with Messrs. E. T. Taylor and Co. Mr Brown is a sergeant in the D Battery, N.Z.F.A., and when in "review order" his tunio is a thing of beauty, for the sleeve is a mass of efficiency badges — gunnery, marksmanship, etc , etc.