It Is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume V, Issue 216, 20 August 1904, Page 22

It Is Town Talk

—That the Bi ltish and New Zealand footballers did not fraternise at the dinnei to the Butchers on Satuida> night. That a man who was iun o\ei in the streets of Dunedm last week by a buggy and pan was picking up a horseshoe for luck' —That the toughest stroke of luck that has happened a local poultiv fancier was to lose his best bud and meet it at a local banquet. That there has been no tramway accident in Auckland foi neaily a week. It is believed the Queen City people aie learning some points from us. That an ex-mayoress of an upcountry town says that her husband, the ex-mayor, is eniovmg much bettei health since he gave up his 'moiahty — That a local soft goods assistant attained a cheap reputation on Satuiday night by sporting a sti aw hat with the British footballers' hat-band round it. That another injustice has been done to the ould sod. Guiseppe Popooelleti advertises in a country pape^ that he has just opened the "Limerick" Restaurant. —That, although mainage is a lotteiy, it has never been included among the "games of chance" in the Gaming and Lotteries Act." The parsons should see to this. That Dunedm 'Stai" is out with the rumour that Mr. T. E. Taylor will not seek a leturn to Parliament ait next election. That rumour is getting bald-headed with age. That the Gore police made a tremendous haul of "beei" in a sly-giog shop the other day. Carting the 300 bottles to the station, they found they were full of tomato sauce. That, up to now, the Chinese residents of Wellington have not returned the visit. — accompanied by detectives— that some legislators were good enough to pay them the other day. —That, during the late earthquake, a local dentist, who had a patient in the chaar, duly gagged with the usual indiarubber device, shot for the horizon, leaving his victim speechless. — That at the Mangawhero bridge banquet the other day Minister C H. Mills told the people he took tea twen-ty-eight times a week, and was very glad the duty had been taken off. — That, given a fairly cleai run and few stoppages, the electric cars iun from Constable-street to the Post Office in eleven minutes. This is a saving of much money to the business man — That the latest high-life item is that a lady who conti acted with a washei woman for a half-day at 3s 6d, paid her 3s Asked to explain, she said she had stopped 6d for lunch ' — That Wellington tradesmen's names aie oftentimes curious. There are Dimond and Hart (lucky cards), painters, Bishop and Parsonage, joiners, and Will Fitwell, bootmaker. — That a Southern Road Board, at its last meeting, passed an unanimous resolution condemning the Russians foi their interference with Btitish shipping and decided to send a copy to the Czar. — That Nelson reports "ominous rumblings" on Saturday last It may have been subterranean, but was piobably the united yell of over 20 000 people at the football match in Wellington. — That the Wadestown bootmakei's shop bore a notice on Saturday la-st which read "This establishment will be closed on Saturday to enable the bo.ss to see the Britishers licked. God Save the King '" — That a Dannevirke person wa^ fined 40s for gross ciuelty to a child the other day. For swearing at a baimaid in Wellington last week a man was fined £10 and costs £3 odd ' Comment is needless. — That "what appears to be a ca.se of tohungaism" happened in a Wellington suburb last week Several buckets of water were used foi the cm^e. Wife used the water ; husband got it Sobeied him up all light. — That the Lance doesn't claim to have prophetic gifts, but sometimes it gets there just the same. Geoige Reid was recently cartooned as getting anav with his bag to the Impenal Confeience. And now George has been called on to form a Federal Mimstiy, so that if that Conference comes off he's moie than ever likely to be in it

—That the handicap ping-pong touinament at Otaki was postponed tor the gie.it football match. Touching sacnfice' - -Tliat tlu commonest kind of telegium icccived at telegraph offices duu nig the week is in the following terms Send as. many bricklayeis by fiisttiam as possible, lepair eaithquaked chimne\ •» " — That a certain Ministei's pnvate secietan, at the great football match, \\<ii so overcome with emotion when the New Zealanders sooied that lie appesled to the ci owd "For Heaven's sike, somebody hold me'" — -That there is a new bye-law prohibiting distribution of hand-bilLs on the vtieets. That is piobably why a boy lecently chose a place in close proximity to a stem City Council official f loni which to distribute "dodgeis." — -That, when a motor-man pulled up his car with the magnetic break on Saturday, just as the apron bashed i>nto the back-end of a diay, the diayman asked him why the (unnecessary expletive-,) he didn't get out of the way ? — That, in speaking of a pioposed inclusion of orphans and widows in the benefits of a teachers' superannuation fund a Southei n com mitt eem an said that, of course, in some cases a husband might survive his widow His name began with "O." — That a lady left her opei a glasses Oil her seat on the grand stand last Saturday. It was noticed that she had been using them very frequently It was also discovered that there wei c no lenses m them. She, however, wore lovely lings and bracelets —That the young son of a veiy prominent Wellington mci chant hais been staited by his father on the very lowest rung of the mercantile ladder. In answer to the youth's query to his pater "Do you think I'm a dog?" the latter ieplied "No, but you'll grow." — That a Carterton tradesman, who decided against the town proposal to keep open on Satuiday, wrote a large and elaborate window-ticket saying he was going to the football match People wondered why a blank card was hung; in tlie window. In his hurry he had placed the blank side to the street