Afternoon Tea Gossip

Free Lance, Volume V, Issue 215, 13 August 1904, Page 10

Afternoon Tea Gossip

By Little Miss Muffitt.

A GIRL fnend, writing from Sydney, tells me that many ' nice" women over there now ride astride. This leminds me that Queen Alexandra it> colonel of an English cavalry regiment, but has never been seen riding on a man's saddle. * * * The Japanese would make fine legislators. They would risk their lives to to secure a pass. New Zealand legislators secure a pass (on the railways) without veiy great risk to their lives. * * * An Australian man has been trying to kill himself by firing three bullets into his head. He still lives. It is suggested he would be a fit and proper person to repiesent his district in the Federal Parliament. * # * A French visitor to Wellington called at the Tourists' Office the other day, and asked where the celebrated boulevards of the city were. I understand he was despatched by one of the corps of guides to Kent Terrace, where he sat for many iapturous hours under the aboreal masterpieces there. Truly, we should be proud of our public trees. * * • Several Australian officials, at £5 a day each and travelling expenses, have been exploring for a Federal capital site for eighteen months. At present they are camped on the Lower Muiray, living on cat-fish and "manna" out of the box-trees. It is a very haid iob to find a capital site when the finding would immediately stop the "experts' " vages. Even though it is an agncultuial item, I shall garner it — "Mr. J. Giay, of Kentucky, Corowa (New South Wales), has given the free use of ovei 100 acres of land to Mrs Michael McCarthy, the widow of a victim to a recent fatal accident. The farmers in the vicinity, by means of a working bee, put the whole area undei crop." Hearts of gold ! * * * A correspondent, writing; from St Louis, with respect to the New Zealand exhibits at the World's Fair, says some of the lemarks about them are funny Thus, the old lady, who, looking at the picture in which an old Maori, bands behind him because he is tapu, occupies the foreground, and a -nliaie oan be seen in the rear, immediately exclaimed "There's Uncle Tom's Cabin poor old fellow." * * * There is a story told about a financial celebrity not unknown to Welhngtonlans, who took an understi apper to task for not making his calculations cleaa "Why don't you make your figuies so that I can read them?" he asked. "Well, sii, what am I to do? I have reduced them to decimals." "Yes, that's all right, but what do all these bally dots mean. You just rub 'em out, will you P" He is still a financial celebrity » * # You may break, you may sliattei Man's heait if you will But it a,\\\ ays is good f oi Another break still ' * * * Persons who live up Russell Ten ace way don't want any stopping-places foi the electric cars. That's why they write to the papers saying that a jogging old horse in a cart can beat the car. I don't know why the person who lives half-way down Adelaide-ioad shouldn't have the car stopped. The moie stops the fairer for all. The cars have reduced the time taken betw een the terminus and Post Office by fifteen minutes, and the paper giowlers' a^eitions are not facts. People who w ant to fly won't qualify for wings by a life of selfishness. t * * A Quay chemist is telling a story of brazen "cheek." At 1.30 on Thursday morning his night-bell rang ,and he went down shivenngly and answered it. "I want a bottle of soda water," said the ringer. He charged sixpence, and said twopence would be returned if the in,m brought the bottle back. He went to bed swearing in the great colonial language At 2.35 a furious ringing bi ought him pyjama-clad to the dooi again. "Here's yer bottle; gimme iup tuppence'" But, an infuriated chemist dashed a door in the face of the citizen, and returned to bunk despite the ringing for half-an-hour of a night-bell.

Touching the obituaiy scrap of papci found on a suicided swagsman m the Forty Mile Bush, 'Buiy me in an eggbox; I'm a bad 'un," he wasn't looking for an ornamental "shell." * * * Gabriel Elliott, the We&leyan lay agent, who got badly "left" in a slaudei case he brought against a lady a while back, is urn king in a flax mill up Noith. He is bettei employed theie than in the "vineyaid." It is said theie are no less than 40 000 people in Pans w ho have not the least ldeawheie they are to get than breakfast w hen they get up m the morning. As theie is no poveity in New Zealand, the numerous people m Wellington who haven't got enough to eat have probably insatiable appetites. The Loid Howe islanders, who were so kind to the people taken off the wrecked Ovalau, had lived and died without medicine. None of them had ever been sick. They died of old age. The Commonwealth, out of thankfulness for their kindness, sent them a medicine-chest. Since which thiee deaths have occurred from other causes than old age. * * * I was on the wharf the other evening when a fireman, going aboaid his boat, made a mis-step, and fell. He caught a wharf stringer, and climbed on to the wharf unhurt, but profane. One of his mates remaiked -jocularly, "Neaily got drowned that time, cully'" "Gain'" responded the fireman, looking disgustedly at the treacly wateis, "I ain't afeard o' getting drowned, but I objects to gettin' p'isened'" * v- ■* Sydney "Newsletter" is funny. It says that Willy Schweigerhausen is about to cycle round the woild, and "should he come to Australia," etc. Willy cycled past the "Newslettei " office about two years ago, and had some feaiful adventuies in WestiaJia. He was stuck up bv a carpet snake at Wilcannia (New South Wales) and chased bv flies at Bourke. I should have thought that the name Scheweigerhausen would be easy to lemember. Willy cycled down Lambton Quay with his flaxen locks trailing; in the wind long, lone; aero Also, the Lance heai d and wrote his tale of woe.