It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume V, Issue 213, 30 July 1904, Page 22

It is Town Talk

—That Westraha has a suiplus of £83,363 for the year.^ "Of course, they can never be like us." —That a person who has seen King Dick on horseback tells us it is a cleai case of over-crowding. —That a Kilbunie builder is not superstitious He is building a thir-teen-rooined house on the site once occupied by a fire-destroyed store. — That the Governor's chef is said to draw £500 a year. The idea of a mighty official like that grilling a mci c chop or boiling the billy is too dreadful. —That the Australia, which was recently wrecked, was 13 yeais old, and left London on May 13th, and tihat May 13th was a Fnday. So what could one expect ? —That the water in Wellington's main streets has risen ovei Mr. Seddon's goloshes, and into his boots, tie doesn't say if he was on horseback at the time. —That a first-offending inebriate, who was let off by a bnliant J.P., was informed by the said Solomon that it he came before him again he would fine him twice as much. —That a numbei of people boai ded one highly-illuminated Governoi-recep-tion tram-car at Auckland recently, under the mistaken belief that Lord Plunket had sat there. That an Australian girl has just awakened after a sleep of seventeen days, Got frightened at a horse suddenly putting its 'head over a fence, and subsequently entranced. That the Waimangu geysei has been "on strike" for the last foitnight, and shows no inclination to start again. The Tourist Department ought to cite it before the Board of Co<noihation. — That the heartless joker who sent out bogus invitations foi a Kelburne girl's wedding put her to the trouble of returning a round dozen of haaidsome wedding presents. Women's wit, of oourse. — That a bogus hospital nurse has been collecting clothes and food "foi the poor" in Dunedin. She is at present wearing a less becoming garb than the nurse's uniform the police relieved her of. — That at a Wairarapa football match last week the local Red Cross stretcher bearers appeared in full fig. It was explained that the referee nu<?ht want the "bearers" before the game was over. — That a telegram, "put in" at Wellington at 8 am., reached its Blenheim destination at 11.36. This is nearly as fast as the Penguin could take it. It's worth a Government cable to the London "Times." — That, at the municipal deputation, delegates were asked to define cleaily what a footpath was. No Wellington delegate knows from local experience; neither do they appear to know what one ought to be. — That the Taianaki Maoii woman, who left a five-weeks' old infant unattended for eigiht hours, and found it killed by rats, is a fit subject foi the institution advocated by child-life preservers m New Zealand. — That if all the people who continue writing to- us to say that some of then ancestors were distant connections of some of the ancestors of then present Excellencies would go for a trip Home we should be very glad — That the recipients of invitations foi a certain swell pnvate ball found, to their chagrin, that twopence had to be paid to the postman before the invitations could be delivered "Overweighted with gold invite cards " — That the enterprise of New Zealand country papers is astonishing. Many of them still contain bargain advertisements eulogising the stocks of Christmas (1093) grocenes. Thames papers aie particulaily enterprising in this respect. — That Kelburnites are vastly tickled every morning about half-past eight by the appearance of a stout lady in a dressing-gown, who appears on the balcony of her home and has a leal good skip with a rope for ten minutes or so. It is her anti-fat treatment. ■ — That the Maoris aie predicting an early spring. The marvellous ability of the native race when they observe the willows sprouting to announce the com me change of season is evidence of the highest type of genius. Nobody can see a tree sprout but a Maon.

—That a Wellington girl named Warm has gone South to many Mi. Fieezei. Kxtiemes meet' That two Waveiley damsels charged Loid Plunket recently withbuthday books, and captured his signature. Fortune favouts the braye — and fan. That the disproved allegations that seetaiian preferences were manifest m appointments to the public service is a pointe'i as to how the Bible-ui-schools might cause unnecessary strife in thte community. —That China is moie than evei m pvidenoe at afternoon tea just now There are no less than half-a-dozem iadv missionaries from the Flowery Land in Wellington at piesent. That the oountiy is fullei of medical and O'fchei kinds of fradulent quacks now than ever. But, it is only the tohunga who gets a rough time by having the powers that be loosed on him. That the resignation of Ml . D J. Nathan from the City Council is a distinct loss. There is no other man at the Council who has so sound a knowledge of finance— and there is no other knowledge so necessary. —That most of the country papers ' reoret to have to report" that Mr. So-and-So, schoolmaster, is leaving the seivice to go in foi law, 01 bush-felling, 01 navwing. or something — some job with bread and butter attached. Thflt the Eltham Gun Club recently had 150 sparrows leady for the day's "shoot." Somebody liberated the lot. Rather a pity that person couldn't liberate the thousands of tame pigeons annually slaughtered by alleged "sports. That the Boer trophics — rifles — now being sent to New Zealand should be distributed to the men who helped to win them, and from whom they were taken away on arrival in New Zealand The last of the contingents, who had little to do, retained their trophies