Afternoon Tea Gossip

Free Lance, Volume V, Issue 213, 30 July 1904, Page 10

Afternoon Tea Gossip

By Little Miss Muffitt.

WHAT soit of a wife do jou imagine the Australian man, who hanged himself the other clay, could have had? He left a note to say that he hadn't been paid his weekly wages (£2 10s), and that he daie not face her without the cash. * * * Heard about the tiam accident at the Basin Reserve p No.-' Well, a man got a seat on the o o'clock cai . He said it was an accident that had nevei occurred bef 01 c * * * No light has yet been placed on the "Thiee Kings" — the islands so fatal to the Elingaimite. The authorities said that lights should be supplied, but they are waiting to see if the 'Kings" aie really dangerous. Mr. George Reid, the celebiated Austiahan politician, who is burlesqued m "Tapu," "weighed out" at Fleanington (Melbourne) the other day. The scales, which had nevei been treated so shamefully befoie, registeied 1 18st 4Vlb. Still, ihe "is a pretty light politician compared with King Dick. * * • Loid Plunket has already achieved the distraction of being pai agraphed in the Australian papers <is about the only colonial Governoi who can tell a yarn. Sampler are given His Excellency would probably like to make the acquaintance of some of the breezy items attributed to him. * * * They know all about it m Sydney, bless 'you' Thus Sydney ' Sunda\ Times" — "Mr. Seddon's* depaituie to London as High Commissioner for New Zealand will cause the promotion of Sn Joseph Ward, a diplomatic commei-cnal man, to the Premiership." I wonder if Sir Joseph has heard of his coming luck ? *. <■ * It may be some comfort to men who are in the habit of drinking out of hotel glasses which aie nevei properly washed to know r that cancer is not infectious. The great ones of the medical profession have recently decided it is not transmissable fiom pen-son to person Still, there aie sound reasons why one should keep a bottle in the house What about clause 9? * * » •Mr. Kruger did not survive long aftei he presented that £50 to the Russian wounded fund " So a sarcastic pei sou 1 embarked to me the other day. A propos, Kruger, two years before the war spent £100,000 m ' acquiring land m the Rustenberg valley. He settled on it 112 Boer families, taking only a small part, of the leturn per year in payment. The old man wasn't all meanness. * * * As I remarked, I went aboard the lonic the other day, and', among other tilings, saw the engines. A sailor-man explained the principle on which they woiked , something like this — "Well, you see, Miss, it's just one thing goes up, anicl then anothei thing comes down, and then they let the smoke on, whaoh makes the wheels go round 1 . That's what they call the hydraulic principle. It's ouite simple when you know it " Now. of course, I could write a book on marine engineering. * * * There weie 229 steerage passengeis by the lonic last trip. I made enquiries on board, and found that dozens of these people had no piofession or oallmg, and that many had 1 spent their all in fares The idea still prevails that gold, diamonds, and billets are to be picked up in the streets. A very large pioportion of the people were Scotch, so they are all right There weie fifteen women coming out to meet husbands, and twenty-one girls met their futuie husbands on the wharf. * * * Nurse Maude, at Chnstchuich — "At present nurses are simply muddling along, and mothers' lives aie continually being risked." She advocates that all nurses should be tiained The aveiage 'trained" nuise disdains, to become for a few weeks housekeepei , nurse and general rouseabout The only sort of person the pool can afford is the oldfashioned wot king woman who will live on the ordinary family faie, and do everything that if well the mothei would have to do in the way of household chore 3 .

Confessions ot a Fashionable Plusicum" is to be tiic title ot a new book Apiopos ot some ot Mi . SeddonS letent utteiances, lie sbould lead it — it it is a, ie.il confession. A Melbourne subuiban pliotogi aphei has this notice pasted m lus window — Toi ins cai-.li Photos not naid foi wiill be turned upside down." Wellington photogiapheis know a thing on two ' Cash at sitting" pievails in the Empne Tlie^e aie the d^s of ichg,iou>s hbeit\, kindly toleration, laige-heai todnois and bieadth of clencal \ lew That's possibU win a cci tain pai son up Xoitili refused to i cad the buual 'enicv o\oi a killed mriei because he hadn't been confirmed. John Cook, the Victoi lan lad who aftei he had accidentally cut off several of his toes with an axe. caught a hoife ajid lode six mile* to the doctoi, is a piettv gritty specimen of young Austi alia and dese'ives, as the newspapeis leport, to be 'piogicsmg favouiablv * * * Sweet item fioni a Sydney journal — "For sale, Padeiewski (imported), long wool, six-tooth, £450 " It is a meiino that is meant — not a Pole Likewise n-.i- a of the name of Tiumpei sold the other da\ . He uas a l victoi " in a New South Wales agncultuial show y- *■ - u Lord Anson a,nd Loi d Lewisham aie going to look in on us w hen they have done the St Louis Exposition I really don't know whethei they belong to the brewing lords or the tei ritojnal peers, but they aie worthy of oui higbest esteem whichever it is I, for one, shall be enraptured Although the pemny-m-the-slot franking machine, on the Post Office steps, would be a boon if it didn't occasionally go on strike, it appeals to me to be an expensive kind of an invention. On seveial occasions lately I ha\e seen people stiugghng with it, and it refused to do its work. A man, who seems to be in waiting, always pounces out, and is a ugiy with the machine giving one's penny back again. I should imagine also that an apprentice in his second year could imitate the stamp, which is exti emely plain and simple. I'm afraid it hasn't come to stay. ir * * Recent daily papei ad. — 'To Chnstians — A Christian is urgently in need of help." His addiess is given. Wonder if he got the ad. inserted free 5 Also, would he accept help from a mci c sinner ? Likewise, are the physical needs of a man who "is not as other men are" entitled, to the consideration of newspaper readers more tham the mere sinful outcast. Again, would he make a leturn for the sam© help, or consider a lendei fully compensated for bis kind^ ne.ss by the ovei whelmine: honour of the Christian's thanks? Did he even read the parable of the Pharisees, and, if not, why not? • • • The way of a woman' One of her recently went into a police office, and wept copiously. Her dear devoted husband had lost £35 10s, and what were they to do at all, with seven childlen and' a grocer's bill? The police didn't know, but they bid her dry her tears, and they would find out Subsequently a* young; "guesser" of the force went to the suffering w oman, and asked hei point-blank wheie she had 1 hidden the money. She was but a weak woman, and showed 1 him ' When one of our sex does start out to iuii crooked, she does it picturesquely There was Sappiura, if you remember.