It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume IV, Issue 212, 23 July 1904, Page 22

It is Town Talk

—That Lord Plunket has kissed the blarney stone. He has 1 the Irish gift of saying nice things very effectively. —That in reading the "Post's" notes about the Stud Bill, the average reader will wonder what kind) of animals "entiies" are. —That, according to the Pahiatua papei , the bye-election campaign started in the main street of the town by the serving out of some black eyes That the latest Bntish thing to be labelled "Made in Germany" is "Rule Britannia." Somebody is accusing Wagner of having written the music. —That Lady Plunket has all the heroism of her ancestors. She is frequently seen riding on horseback about the 1 oads of the city She has seen, better roads. That the Wellington City Council is gradually seeing the erroi of its committee ways, and would do less "Star Chamber" business if the Mayor would let it. — That a Russian soldiai's daily ration (on paper) is half-as-much again as any other soldier in the woild. Whethei he gets it is, of oourse, problematical. — That the polite stranger in a car on Thursday afternoon, who offeied has seait to a lady, was surprised that she "preferred to stand." But, he didn't know she had been learning to skate. — That farmei"s driving on the "loads" up North now carry life-buoys Only by using one was a farmer, w ho was on a main i oad, saved from drowning last week. There is over half-a-milhon surplus. — That it is suipusing to learn that the Russians are about to use bulletproof jackets. We thought the chaplains carried "sacied rehos" that gave the soldiers immunity from shot and shell. — That the Defence Department's cable to St. Petersburg, that New Zealanders have won the Kolapore Cup, will be censored. The Russian authorities don't want any panics among their soldiers just now. — That the unfortunate omission of a letter in the wedding notice of a young Presbytei lan parson makes it appear as if he was something of a sponger The report says ' The young couple will live at the old mans." — That there are fearsome yarns cui - rent about men being "stuck up" and lobbed at the cutting on Kilbirnie Hill. That's why Kilbirnie i esidents' pistol pockets bulge just now . Also, oak sticks have a leady sale. — That the Wesleyan chuicli treasuier who has only found one button in the collections for the year is easily beaten by another treasurer, who has a footstool beautifully worked in designs made from that style of "coin " —That, apropos of the "lust f ot opeiation," it is freely stated 1 that American Medical Association members hasten death in incurable cases. Theie are also queer stones about the numbei of sudden deaths at Netley Military Hospital, in London. — That a farmer has been fined £1 up North foi having no sheep. That is to say, in. his "returns" he failed to mark the "sheep" space "nil." Some revenue could be raised by fining people who have no income and theiefore omit to send in "returns." — That it is against the law for a bookmaker to bet with a minor, but a bookmaker recently averred that he had seen a mother give her small son cash to "put on," and he thought that he was justified in betting with the lady, who was apparently over twenty-one. — That Victoria's Premiei mav be Bent, but the Victoiian State mav be broke if "Tommy" isn't careful. He shoved a supply bill (half-a-milhon) through in half-an-hour lately. They mention points of similarity between! Tommy and our own greater Premier. — That we have actually had to import a vegetable exnert from Europe As no one but Chinamen grow vegetables to anv large extent, we micrht have given a resident Ah Foo or Wang Koo the billet Some of these daV we'll grow our own experts as well as our own vegetables. — That "matrimonial boudons" as business concerns are becoming common in New Zealand. No person of common sense would assert that thev were not all that could be desired. None of them have been opened by clergymen, or the foundation-stones laid by Ministeis of the Crown.

That, if inclement Wragge doesn't soon leave the country we shall lequire to be fitted with web-feet. — That a man is not necessarily popular because he's always asked to call again when he visits. He may be a debt-col lectot . That in futuie the Government will have all stud horses examined annually. Thene's a moral in this, if one were permitted to express it. . That a lunatic has just died in New South Waleb who came to Australia one hundied yeais ago. He was six \eais old then, and a Dutchman. That 'fools and bauns" aie ridiculous enough to assert that the present dead-lock m the opening of the express tram route maght have been avoided. However, the latepayers pay. That fifteen thousand Chines© will be working on the Rand before Octobei . This is only five thousand more than are in Australia, which, with New Zear land, protests against the iniquity. — That Federal politician Waddell 1 e.marks that his Government "intends to make this one of the most moral people in the would," which causes an Oppositionist to remark, "Physician, heal thyself." — That the Victorian Chief Justice is ordei ing much lash foi larrikinism and grave social offences. Some recent cases of blackguardism in New Zealand can only be justly punished by a fiee application of the "cast." — That thioughout the oolom Arbor Day was not observed foi the puipo.se for which it was proclaimed. It is now a meie excuse for Government servants to take a not-needed holiday and ought to be wiped out. — That, since it was discovered that a New Zealander possessed a pipe that once belonged to Sir Walter Raleigh, collectois aie making enquiries and offering much cash for Seddon pipes, which the now non-smoking Piemier used to love. Raleigh, indeed' — That Yaldhurst is the first school district in New Zealand to have a Schooi Committee entirely composed of women. The hilarious Witty. MHR., wired "Three cheers for petticoat government. Hope to attend some of voui meetings " The bold bad man '