It Is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume IV, Issue 208, 25 June 1904, Page 22

It Is Town Talk

—That the new Japanese puff-powder is not popular with the Russians That the scornful name given by the British Jack Tar to the new colonial recraits is "wallabies." That a local soft-goods man has given up smoking. It requires a strong will to overcome the habit, and his wife's will is by no means weak. —That, Mr. Aitken's face being momentarily hidden by the crowd aiound the leaky circus bandstand m .Postoffice Square, a man asked who the stout lady in the ermine cloak was. —That diamond ear-rings aie once more coming into fashion. This is sad news for the average Wellington Benedict. He has to keep up witlh the procession. — That, in answer to a eonespondeoit, who wants to know "when is the best time to pinch roses," we should say that when nobody is about is the best time. That, although it is well known that a certain wealthy Welkngtaman is a connoisseur of champagne, he doesn't boast about it. He prefers to keep Mumm. — That the sun never sets on the British dominions. The lea.son, according to a distinguished French wit is that the Almighty cannot trust John Bull in the dark. — That a Wellington man us the happ^ possessor of an extremely valuable table, reputed to be at least three thousand years old. The multiplication table is at least that hoary. — That Melbourne's most violent and murderous "pushes" call themselves respectively "The Flying Angelsi" and "The White Roses." Recently, the "Angels" kicked' a man to death. — That one man — the Duke of Sutherland! — owns one-fifteenth of Scotland ; more country and better than most Australian sheep kings. Britain, the land of the free and the home of the brave!" — That departed Lord Ranfurly is said' to have increased 281bs in weight during his New Zealand vice-rule. He recently remaz-ked that the people of New Zealand wanted to be fed' by the Government. — That the new Governor's four little daughters, in their white hats, got the 'heartiest cheer from the crowd on Monday last. The eldest one ros£ to the situation by waving her hand in ackn owl edgment . — That Mr. E. M. Smith informs an anxious world that the plant for the Taranaki Ironsand Company will be on the ground in three months. Some day, E. M., like Andrew Carnegie, may be able to endow libraries. — That Major-General Babington will possibly accept a second term of service as Commander of the Forces. How very unnecessary this seems when we have home-bred youths who are capable of advising the Commandant. — That King Dick, if put through the stampers on Monday last, would have panned out a good diwy. The amount of bullion on his Windsor Court uniform opened the eyes of the West Coasters to the bursting point. — That a person, who was arrested by the pobce because he was very drunk just outside Ashburton, was found to be an informer ,who had been freely "sampling" in that town in ordeir to obtain convictions. The sly-grog smellerout isn't a particularly estimable person. — That, according to a Southern scientist, Rotorua may some day be destroyed by a bar of soap. He condemns the "saponaceous idiocy" of the people who outrage nature by di oppmg bars of "test yellow" into the Rotorua geysers. He believes it will end mi catastrophe, and proves it scientifically. — That, according to Mr. D Nathan. Wellington is quite behind the other centres in manufactures. Mr. Duthie emphasises this by saying how astonished "he was, on going South recently, to find to what a large extent manufacturers were engaged in turninsc out articles which Mr. Duthde beb'eved were only made in other places. — That something should be done to provide the New Zealand veterans with uniforms, by public subscription if necessary. The poor old fellows feel distinctly "out of it" on great occasions. They should all take rank, too, so that a] l should know who's who and what's what when half-a-dozen sergeants-major are yelling out different orders.

That another smart business man is preewmg his wmgs for flight to St. Louis. That no one really knows anything about high speed but the boy who rides a wooden horse. —That Stuyvesant Piggin is a name that occths among a recently-published list of solicitor's passes. That a good many city firms, with flag-poles to their piemises, foigot to hoist their bunting on Monday. —That vacancies, by death and letuement are making promotion rapid in the higher branches of the Post and Telegraph service. That the Wellington dredge took a leading part in the send-off to the depairting Goveraoi. She led the way down the harbour. That, at the Victorian State elections only one 'gentleman" was returned to Parliament. At least, only one pel son is so descnbed in the returns. That the sweaains-in ceremony, at Parliament Buildings, wasn't a circumstance to the swearing-out ceremony when the ram began to play upon the ciowd. That Wanganui is allowed to be the deaiest place m the colony, likewise Wellington, likewise everywhere elsei— when people come before the "beak" on debt caseb. That the office-bearers of the Te Awamutu Wesleyam Cliureh believe m the innocence of" the Reveiendi Elliott. They admit his "lack of caution." Is that all, dear brethren? That M.H R. Rutherford considers New Zealand "the finest country under God's sun." He owns about fifty thousand acres of it, and ought to know. It's the kindest country to him, anyhow. — That the Bishop of Wellington was ptobably the most cheerful-looking; person in the crowd on Governor-changing day. There was an unctuous -jovousness about Dr. Wallis that compelled imitation. — That long-suffering tram travelleis have still another change and a iusJi. The bottom of Cuba-stieet tangle necessitates tins extra pain. There is a rumour that Wellington is to have an electric tram service. — That Counoillots Devine, Fiost, and Evans were without the British badge of respectability on Monday All the Councillors. — except the cocked-hat-ted Mayor — woie more or less modern nail-kegs as if tlhey hui t. — That saintly Christchurch now prohibit® little children fiom trundling hoops in the public parks. Likewise, it won't let a person cairy a load in those places. Common persons canying kits, and boys with hoops, are evidently dangeious cattle — That the man who put up that leaky band rotunda at the h ad of the wharf ruined more milhneiy on Monday than he could pay foi out of the profits. Even Lady Plunket blessed him. As for the Mayor, his thoughts were too awful foi words. — That holidays aie getting so numerous in New Zealand that it will soon be necessary to advertise somewhat in the follownng fashion "Monday next will be a working day." If something like this isn't done, people won't know when to knock off enjoying themselves. — That some of our "boys of the bulldog bieed," whom we made so much fuss of when sending them away to South Africa to fight oui battles, don't seem) to get much help now in fighting their own battles. A couple of them were applicants for charitable aid at Palmerston the other day — That the Wellington Centre of the New Zealand Boxing Association, who have, don© so much to place the noble art of self-defence on a respectable footing in tins quarter of the globe, are greatly disgusted wath the Opera House directors for refusing to let them the Opera House. As a consequence, the New Zealand championship's aie to be decided in Christohurch