All Sorts of People

Free Lance, Volume IV, Issue 208, 25 June 1904, Page 3

All Sorts of People

OUR well-beloved cousin," Uchter John Mark, Earl of Ranfuirly, is no longer Governor and Com-mander-dn-Chief of the colony of New Zealand 1 and the dependencies thereof. We gazed on has pained-looking lordship as his billet was slipping away from him on a grey, weepful day-the shortest day but one m the year-the madwmter of our damp discontent We were there early, and not bright. A gTudy canopy, in Post-office Square in fhneking contrast to the Paring skies, the soarlet-frocked staff, the bedecked office^ Wellington's most beautoful ladies, the flag-captam and his smart officeis-^very thing protesting that Nature might have been kmfa to the bullion, the bearskins, the plumed cocked hats, the dainty millinery • and less considerate of the tailors and bootmakers. • * • Tons of sodden uniforms, but bright fares acres of umb.ellas and hundreds of yards of medals. Veterans and cadets, bear-skinned Guards and bus^ bied Artillerymen, smart "Permanents, the pick of the "foorce," gay Heretaungas. and always the ram. There is a broadside of guns, the warriors stiffen, slope arms' "Pre-sent a-r-m-s!" The Governor comes? No, it is Tarn Duncan, and he saunters into the bell-toppered crowd, smiling to have caused so great a commotion. It is still raining. From the crowd dashes a little woman, armed with an umbrella. No policeman can, keep her back. She has the authority of a field-marshal glowing in her wet cheeks. - ♦ • Swiftly down tihe serried lines of Glen-garry-capped school-boy cadets she sails, and pounces on a proud youngster. "Come home, and change your clothes ' she says. The schoolmaster lieutenant advances. "You can't take him . he s on duty. I forbid ham to go. I am his officer'" "Indfeed, but your not. I command him'" And the young soldier is spirited away for a change of socks The carnages? Lots of them. Ministers, councillors, naval officers, the Premier ' Thea-e is a demonstration. The folks are glad. Richard is himself again. There is a great deal of Richard, and he carries more gold-lace to the acre than anyone else. He is pale and smileiess. Over in the corner the Hon. Mr. Cairoll leans against the wall. He is tared. Sir Joseph Waird is calm, cool, unflurried. His hat is a dream, his decoration a poem, his suit an epic. r • • • Again the carriages A carriage with four little girls in white, the rain beating down on their unprotected forms'. They are the little Plunkets. From the wharf the leaders of a, superb team of bays are seen. The postillion is probably an ex-driver of Royal Ho7-se Artillery. Th© four horses sweep up. There is a roar, stifled 1 by the dampness of the atmosphere. It is the new Governor. A medium-sized man, with tired, prominent eyes — the face of a student — a user of midnight oil : nervous, and anxious above everything to do the right thing. Hi® erold-nmmed monocle dangles on his vest, and remains unused. • • • He works his cocked-hat many times, the matronly Mayor approves of him the bewigeed Town Clerk welcomes him, and other people do ditto. He speaks of "this beautiful country." He doesn't

look up at the weathei, and may have an Irish gift of sarcasm. King Dick calls him the "Government," having had a very excellent precedent for such a mistake m that Loid Ramfuily at Wellington several hours previously hadl said goodnbye to "Auckland " • • • Lady PluaaJket? _ Medium-sized, slight, sweet, quiet-voiced as becomes tlhe daughtei of a distinguished father, gracious, unaffected — the mother of six children, and a good deal under forty yearns of age. She will be beloved in local society. En route to Parliament Buildings thousands of sodden citizens and citizen soldiers. A Guard heie with his bearskin turned the wrong way, another wearing a shooting medal on his left breast. What of it? He's not going to fight in two-feet of hat, is he? The steps of Parliament House, and! the surging crowd, to> see the anxious Irishman "kiss the book." His Majesty's commission and change are read, the Governor takes the oath, a person in a wig puts 1 up his hand, another person in sight does likewise. It is the signal. Boom' The guns know about it. The Govetncxi is gone! Long live the Governor ' • • • There was a band of old men, not smart, not specially piomment, not in uniform, stuck where they could be least observed, a|nd cduld obseiVe least. The veteians. Anything of intei est about them ? Truly. On the flank is Mi ok O'Connor, weaning five medals. He is the only man in. New Zealand who has the Oiimean medal with, the clasps Sebastopol, Inkermain, and Balaclava. The little man who, on November st'h, 1854 with the rest of the old "Die Hardls" (57th), got lost in a Russian fogr, and fought long hours in d'efcaohed parties', officerless, hand-to-hand — -and won — is a Government messenger — the man who survived the hideous day of Sevastopol and the bloody field of Balaclava carries letters to the post. • • • The infantryman who fought in the Turkish war, the Indian Mutiny, and who won a Victoria Cross he never got for holding a redoubt for many hours with four other comrades against' the Maoris, far from heilp, and pitted against a horde, carries messages. Irresistibly the Chant Pagan of Kipling surges up — Me that 'aye rode thi ough the dark Forty mile often on end, Along the Ma'olhsberg Range, With only the stars for my mark An' only the night for my friend, An' things runmn' on as you pass, An 7 things jumpm' up in the gras<3, An' the 1 silence, the shin©, an' the size Of the 'igh, inexpressible skies . . I am takm' some letters almost As much as a mile, to the post. An' "mind you come back with the change!" Me' If we should forget Governors, there are other things we might remember. • ♦ • Sir Julian Salainons, K.C., a leadei of the New South Wales bar, in his young days was a constant visitor to the theatres. He was a pleader then, and he pleaded thus "'Eie y'are, 'ere y'are, apples, oranges, and liminade; Sydney rock rasters!" The little hawker has developed into a great lawyer, whose income is well over £10,000 a year. Poet Laurea/te Austin's latest wail, "The Wind Speaks," is evidently chopped 1 out of hard wood, with a blunt tomahawk. A close student of the rhyming dictionary, Mr. Austin, who was probably much agitated when he was made Poet Laureate, has done his best with the mental material he has It is emphatically a pity that, a* the time the nation wanted a laureate, neither Sir W. Jukes Steward nor Mr. E. Metcalf Smith was available

Various employers, the usual Parliamentarians, and odds and ends of otliei kinds of Welimgtonians, enjoyed themselveb gravely at the annual spread given by the Employeis' Association of Wellington on Wednesday night ■week. That solid citizen and dour Scotsman, Mr. Cable, as chairman, was flanked by other Scots, notably Mr. John Duthie, Mr. Aitken, and Mr. D. Nathan. It may be said that the employers are a talkative lot, and that talking isn't always oratoiy. Wellington social gatherings have degenerated into talking matches, usually of a political nau ture, and almost every man who was born with a tongue uses it, if not. skilfully at least oontinually and copiously. Neaily all the public men of Wellington, who speak at every opportunltv. could well devote a long course of years to the study of thougjht expression, and some grammar rvrimers. A sentiment particulaily voiced by Mr Nathan, and touched on by others, was that the modern relations between man and master were not exactly of the warmest description. Mr. Duthie thought that the workei , bef 01 c tiundhng off his wheelbarrow full of growls to the Arbitration Court, should go to the masters, and effect the necessary reforms without recourse to the courts. In this connection, it was mentioned that the present chairman of the Conciliation Board (Rev. B. L. Thomas) would shortly appear before the Court to answer for a breach of an award ! • • • The Hon. James Carroll, who is not included among those gentlemen who speak but shouldn't, expressed many beautiful truisms, mainly aimed at effecting the brotherhood of man, and melodiously emphasising: the wallknown fact that the New Zealand Parliament, besides being the best in the world, is the most honest. Mr. Barber remembered the time when the Wellington Brewery's little creek ran along opposite Godber's, and tihafc the brew was good. He reminisced inteiestingly about climbing cattle-yard fences in the paddocks of Cuba-street, to watch the wild beef surging around. • • • Mr. Nathan intimated that New Zealand working men didn't turn out such good work as Americans, mainly because they were not paid enough wages, which is a hint for somebody. "The best-paid man turns out the best paying goods," he said. He wanted the iniquitous trusts killed. This also is a hint for someone. The Employers' Association went to Godbar'si to dine, and they talked till twelve. The essentials of the spoken matter could be boiled down into twelve inches, and, as it was, many speakers did not use the fearful entanglements of figures with which they came armed. • • • Terrible Tommy Taylor thinks that the average bookmaker is as good as the average steward of a racing club. In other words, that a steward is as bad as a "bookie." We would like to hear an expression of opinion from a "bookie" or a steward on Terrible Tommy. • * • Mr. Booth, head of the Salvation Army has just celebrated his seventyfifth birthday. A pressman asked the great organiser if he was satisfied with his life's work. Mr. Booth said! he could never be satisfied as long as the world remained as sinful a® it now is. Which reminds us that, when he was in Wellington, two pressmen interviewed the Salvation Army leader. As soon as he got them inside, he grasped them both by the necks, and pressed them into a kneeling posture. Then, he prayed vigorously for a very long time, making those two reporters feel anything but pleased with their past lives. This done, Mr. Booth called his adjutant to show them the door, remarking tnatt they might make any use they liked of the "interview."

Professor Madaurm, of Victoria College, Wellington, who has just been honoured by the Cambridge University with the Doctor of Laws degree, started life in the Waakato like outr new Technical School Director, Mr. La Trobe. In fact, the parallel between them, is remarkably close. Not only were they both Waikato nippers, but each had 1 a parent in charge of the country school from, which they proceeded, by the winning of a scholarship, to the Auckland Grammar School. From there, they both went Home to finish off, and at Home they won the New Zealand appointments they now hold. • * • Professor Maolaurin's father was at one time a Presbyterian minister in the Old Country, but gave up the active work of the pulpit when he oame to Auckland, and turned! schoolmaster. The Professor's brother is the well-known analytical chemist, Dr. Maclauirin, now Colonial Analyst. One of the Professor's sisters, Mrs. Goodfellow, is a resident of Auckland, and another married a son of the late Dr. Wadd&ngton. • * • Although the Rev. D. C. Bates wears the cloth of his erstwhile profession, the little parson, with the simple faith m human nature, the big, round, gold-rimmed "specs," and a meteorological bent, doesn't now preach to any alarming extent. He is in the employ of the New Zealand Tourist Department just now, Wellington! branch. He is a Lincoln man, but is not particularly "green." His early clerical efforts happened! in New South Wales, and he preached 1 long enough at Waega Wagga, the little town, made famous by the Ticbborne claimant. • • • Mr. Bates has drunk "billy" tea under many a spreading emu bush, and has put in some parched times on the sialtbushi plains in pursuit of his profession. His New Zealand clerical work lay principally in Invercargill, where the little man was known chiefly for his geniality, his wide learning, his military enthusiasm, and his study of the weather. Mr. Bates is an expert in military topography, and has taught the subject not only to southern volunteers, but to officers in the Ninth New Zealand Regiment, or First Brigade, as that regiment rather misJeadingly called itself. He trekked wherever the regiment trekked, and oame back to New Zealand suffering from a throat trouble, which has practically incapacitated! him from using his voice in hi» original calling. Shortly after his return, while undergoing an operation for this in Auckland, enteric fever developed, and small hopes were at one time entertained for his recovery. • * * Mr. Bates founded the Anglican Church at the Bluff. He is extremely enthusiastic about New Zealand climate, and combats the assertion that its vagaries are many and; marveHious. He intends, perhaps, to become the New Zealand Wragge. He is a feMow of the Royal Meteorological Society of England, and a oorrespondinig member of the Austrian ditto, being nominated thereto by the most eminent of all meteorologists, Dr. Harm, of Vienna. Not generally known that he acted as. a veritable Father Damien an Somes. Island when that unpleasant spot contained a large quantity of sick soldiers. • « • Wherever the alert little man goes there is always a contingenter to sing out cheerily, "What ho, Padire!" or an ex-kharkero to get him to tie the nuptial knot. On the whole, it is gratifying to know that a parson, who, through physical infirmity, is robbed of his occupation, is able to bring his knowledge of outside subjects to bear on getting him an honest crust. We may be sure that he will butter that crust as time goes on.

The Wellington branch of the Australasian Institute of Marine Engmeeis is mainly a Scotch ooiporation, and the Scotch recognise merit when they &cc it. The saad branch saw the merit ot Mr. James Mills, managing director of the Union Company, on Wednesday, and it told him about it. Mr. Mills is now an associate of the Institute, and has a 4ft. x 2ft. illuminated addies. saying s»o. Mr. James Mills is a man whose personality would attract the casual pedestrian wherever he bumped up against him. The casual one would conclude that he was "top of the pile." Indeed, looking down the row of faces behind the champagne at the Chamhei of Commei cc the other day, v hen the fizz was shooting off, one wouJd -ick his as the dominating personality, erven though the Hon. Charles MiWs, the Hon. M>. Carroll, our reveired May on , ■and Messis John Duthiei and D J. Nathan were present. » » J. P. Luke was the chanman, and used up all the points about shipping, and so on, that everybody else intended to use up much to their chasm n. The speeches may be boiled down. We don't quite pather whether the Union Company made New Zealand, or whether New Zealand made the Union Company. The growth and progress of the country and the red-funnel fleet have been contemporaneous one with the other. While the great company (which everybody agrees is the very acme of perfection, and a pattern for the world) has been exceptionally active, it has had' everything; to spur it on — everything bednis; a synonymous term for Mr. James Mills. • • • His Worship the Mayor was looking particularly well, as he sat carefully nursing his waistcoat. He said he thought the neople of Wellington had been extremely patient under the tramway sufferings. The Lance thinks the Mayor might have refrained from making repeated promises about the probable dates on which the electric cars would, start to run. The Mayor does not travel on the horse-cars or the 'busses, and he doesn't hear the deepblue curses. If His Worship had intimated, that the sufferers would get trams by Christmas, there would have been less execration. • • • The Hon. Mr. Mills was, as usual, "Glad to be he-ah." The chief impression one carries away of the Hon. the Acting Minister for Marine is that his watch-chain is endeavouring to hide him and that Charles is trying to climb over the top of it. Charles is eternally straining out of his clothes. Some day something will go. The Hon. Mr. Carroll spoke softly, melkfluously. His sentences are polished pearls. One knows from the first words that the Native Minister is a kindly, tolerant person, with an abiding faith in human nature, and 1 a friendly feeling for the world. You don't want to analyse his speech — you are content that what he has said has soothed you. Likewise, you know that hi.s oratory is effortless, and his style unapproachable by anyone else in Wellington. * « • A "dark horse," who is not an entire stranger to Wellington, arose as a champion of Auckland at that presentation. Wanted to know personally from Mr. Mills why New Zealand, so far as the Union Company was concerned, began at Dunedm and ended at Wellington. Mr. Mills heaved 1 tumultuousily with laughter, showing an, excellent set of teeth. He replied that Auckland had a Union boat docked there at present, which is extremely nice for Auckland. He also stated that the company were groins: to have the Pacific dotted 1 with turbine Union boats soon, for the said company has got to uphold its reputation of being the highest example of maritime perfection ♦ * * Marcus Marks, of local fame, who will be back in a day or two from his European tour, has kindly sent on a good many post-cards in advance One of the latest comes from Monaco. Marcus doesn't say if he has the bank," but we iudge not. He. however, lets us know that "this place is a little bit dropped down from heaven aiccid'esnt. It is the pearl of all T have seen." But, Marcus hadn't at that time seen the suicides' cemeiterv. Anyhow, he has had a slow but complete recovery from the day he spent amone the Costers on 'Appv 'Amstead 'Eath. * ♦ * Lord Plunket is evidently a raconteur of some consequence. Story ail leered to have been circulated on the Gothic by the new Governor — An American girl, fresh from her father's pork factory, turns naturally to the chase of royalties when on the Continent. A New York girl in London cabled home to her father, "What am I to do ? Can't get presented to king and 1 queen here because you sell hogs." Father cabled back "You can't call it 'selling:.' We're giving them away at the price." She was duly "presented 55 as a daughter of an eminent philanthropist.

The Hon. George Read, of Federal fame., when beset by a crowd of cabmen at a railway station recently, saad lie would give his custom to the mail who had the largest family, and a Jehu who i& father of ten got the job. By-thet-way, George has 1 a very small family himself, and, on his own snowin^, deserves no- encouragement from the electors on that account. Now, the cabman, has to be heard from. "Next timei the other chaps can have him," he says, bitterly ; "my horse ricked his back pulling him up the hill." • • • "Saint Andrew" Rutherford l , M.H.R., has found a blot on the Companies Act. It contains no provision for the summary hanging of bogus company promoters. This is sad "nooze." • * * Mr. Tom Buick, J.P., and one tame a promising orator in the House of Re* presentatives, is reaching out for many honours. "Tom" is the wieldei of a trenchant nib on the Dannevirke paper, of which he is part owner. He is the author of those valuable historical works, "Old Marlboiough," and "Old Manawatu." He has achieved something besides. He has recently been appointed coroner for his town. It is ai very necessary appointment, for things are emphatically lively — and deadlly — in Dannevirke at times. • * * Mr. Walter CaUaway, who created a sensation in October, 1902, by being the only small-pox patient New Zealand had known up to that date, isn't quite the "Cal." he used to be. The half-oaste ex-soldier was in Wellington the other day, where he appeared before the Medical Board which examines wounded pensioners. Mr. Callaway, while performing an, act of gallantry m Africa, was badly wounded, the bullet passing thorough his lungs and other organs, and bis recovery was looked upon as a miracle. When, he was wounded, he weighed thirteen stone four pounds, but the handsome hallfcasie now scales but ten stone six pounds. His pension is Imperial, 3s per day , New Zealand, Is 6d ; which is a remarkable example of the value placed upon services' by the most loyal of all the colonies. • • • Also, the Imperial Government assumes thait a permanent injury is such, and! doesn't ask the injured one to periodically parade in London to be examined. As 1 may be seen, no Auckland' doctor is deemed capable of knowing whether an injured' man is entitled to a renewal of hisi pension, tlie men, from all parts of the colony, having to report personally in< this city. The recommendation made: at the time of CalJlaway's act of gallantry, that he should' be awarded the 1 D.C.M., was not given effect to.

Harry Price and Harry Smuth, from Wellington, were amongst the* distinguished straaigers in London when the mail left. There are no flies on either of them. Another Weliingtonian who met them, perambulating the block in Regent-street writes home . — "They seem to be having a great tame doing the swell with bell-toppers and frockcoats. I had only my old' brown dress on, so felt a, little bit shabby alongside of such mashers " * * # Mir. G. Witty, M.H.R., is one of those loyal fellows who doesn't let a few ooppersi stand between him and a dead Sovereign. Defended the £15,000 New Zealand subscription to the Queen's Memorial the other day, and spoke of the miserable people who hated to hand' over the necessary 4£d per head — the sum it had cost the people. Further, he said that if there was a disloyal person who didn't want to find the 4£d out of his own pooket, he (Mr. Witty) would give him that much. After the meeting, a person sauntered up and demanded 4£d, as he was a disloyalist. Whereupon, Mr. Witty put his hand in his pooket — and kept it there. Theory and practice have their differences, evidently. * * • The late Cecil Rhodes, capitalist and Imperialist, was born at Bishop's Stortford, a wee bit village in England. The little place wanted to celebrate the fact, but found no place. For the purpose of erecting a monument toi the great one, they have razed an ancient inn, five hundred years old, to the ground, and the glairing white marble occupies the site. Probably, Rhodes would have been the first to forbid such vandalism. * # * Caversham runs a mock Parliament, and Dunedin was all agog with excite»ment the other day over the opening of the session. That nice young man, with the mild, drawing-room manner, Mr. T. K. Siidey, who represents Caver sham in the House, was the Governor, and opened l the make-believe Parliament with immense dignity and a Speech that knocked Ranfurly'® longest into a cooked hat. _W. S. Bedford was Premier. He is father of Dunedin's little Harry, the senior member, and wears "specs," and runs a tailoring establishment in Dunedin. W. S. Bedford' ism't afraid to advertise himself , for he inserts his photo in his business advertisement. The Governor's Speech was debated in great style. Several ex-members- ,who are waiting for a chance to geit back to the Hous©, toot a hand in it. Amongst them were the versatile A. R. Barclay and the irrepressible W. Earnshaw. TJp here in Wellington we can't run a mock Parliament. There's too much mockery about the real thing.

Ex-Premier Sir John See. used to be pooi . However, he scooped a Cup winner in Melbourne m the dear, dead, long ago, and he and another were thus enabled to set up a business in Sydney. * * * Mrs. Bold is the first colonial doctor of dental surgery. She has commenced the yanking of the rooty molar with complete sucoe&a. Most likely the lead given will be followed by an army of feminine gum-diggers, who will, as usual, go ahead until matrimony claims them. The exigencies of married life usually robs the world of the services of professional women. • « * "Smiler" Hales, an ex-captam in the Macedonian Army and 1 a searcher after newspaper truths so very hard to find, wanted) badly to go to the Far East as a war correspondent. His alleged slanders on the British Army have stopped his little game. However, we should think that "Smiler" might write a true history of the war from his London offices.