It Is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume IV, Issue 206, 11 June 1904, Page 22

It Is Town Talk

—That the Federal Ministry is a broad daylight one— it knows no kmght. —That "clefmama" is the latest form of the collecting craze. Its victims go in for amassing keys of all sorts, sizes, and shapes. —That King Dick keeps on gaining recoids. An Australian paper now maintains that he is one of the champion snoters of Australasia. What next? — That there is a journeyman painter in Wellington named Rainbow. Last time he was noticed he. was up in the clouds, painting one of our lofty skyscrapers. That one peculiar point about the war in the Far East that promotes speculation is that it is a struggle between a nation that eats meat and one that does not. —That in fashionable circles it is now quite correct for a young lady to present a gentleman with a miniature flatiron. It is the straight tip for him to "press his suit." — That in one small assembly hall in Wellington the old 1 sign. "Gentlemen are requested not to smoke," has been altered. It is effective. "Gentlemen will not smoke." — That Auckland's wealthy folk still have a reputation for liberality. At the stone-laying of St. AndTew's Church in that cdty a cheque for £50 was found in the offertory. — That a mounted l scout, who faced a couple of 15-pounders on Prince of Wales' Birthday and' had several rounds of blank shell fined at him, is dead — in theory. — That, as appendicitis has now been proved to be a transmittable disease, there is still hope for those social soarers who have not yet luxuriated in the kingly complaint. — That a Yankee railway company is spending twenty million pounds in improvements. Two-thirds of the contracts are let to British firms. Poor, old, decadent Britain! — That not only has it been proved that the Russian General Kurow-pat-kin is an Irishman, but that the Emperor of Japan is also a Hibernian. He should be spelt "Mick O'Doo." — That the Wanganui flood had a peculiar sense of humour. A prohibitionist settler, after the subsidence of the waters, found a hogshead of bear washed up against his front door. — That weight for weight, the Japanese woman is the physical equal of her husband. Hence the sweet deference of the little brown man, and the happy marital relations of the Mikado's subjects. — That, up till recently, the deputy superintendent of the Sydney Fire Brigade was held by Sparks. The Board, of which he was a member, having retired, Sparks has been put out temporarily. — That a clergyman has made the remarkable statement in public that he has known auctioneers who were good Christians. He was illustrating the difficulties that beset the telling of the truth. — That seats are to be provided for Sunday "sparkeis" and the thousands ot people who promenade Oriental Bay. Quite right, too. But, what about the millions who do Evans Bay on Sundays and holidays? — That the brotherhood of Briton and Boer is coming about soon. They will have to grab a gun in a 'common cause. "Fuzzy Wuzzy," with his assegais, will probably upend himself with a wild yell in the near future. — That the brewers will be extremely giatified 1 to hear that the rumour stating that Tommy Taylor would resign hi*- seat in Parliament has had the bottom knocked out of it. Tommy declares he will be on tap as usual before the month) is out. — That it cost a Dannevirke settler £30 for systematically beating a boy from a charitable institution, who had the misfortune to work for him. Good enough. If the magistrate could have given him a couple of dozen with the "cat," the good would have been greater. — That a great savant attributes the growth of appendicitis to electric tramways. So many people ride now-a-days that the interior economy of man gets but little tonic exercise — as in walking. The people of Wellington will not get appendicitis. They will be continually on the scoot, getting out of the way.

— That there are 300,000 visitors at St. Louis. New Zealand sent the Donne of them all. — That "truth is not sti anger than fiction." It only appears so because we are not used to it. — That they seem to, be drawing the colour-line up in Auckland. The Govemoi s of the; Grammar School are opposed to the admission of scholarshap Maori boys. — That the new French Consul hadn't been m Auckland an hour before a pi est>man wanted his opinion of "our beautiful harbour." In Wellington, the harbour advertises itself. — That the bike fiend has been busy mi the lobbies amd landings of local business places lately. A bul lock-chain, a 12-moh staple, and a combination look are handy things to have. — That a country settler has been fined 5s for hitting a postma&ter-stoie-keeper on the nose. The postmaster re-fused to give credit for three penny stamps at 5.30 in the morning. — That S.M. HaseLden lecently repnmand'ed a lawyer for badly brow-beating two witnesses. One would think that lawyers cain't do as they like. The profession should enter a protest. The idea,! — That the West Coast stull needs educating. One of its narjers call's General Sir Edward! Hutton, Comman,d L ant of the Australian Forces, "Col Hufton." Likewise, it spells "cyphei " "sypher." — Thait occasionally the rein of paiantail control is drawn somewhat tightly. Last week, a lad of only thirty-five was compelled to quit home because he insisted on going to the theatie in defiance of his father's wishes. — Thait the propnetoi of one of the best hotels in Christermrch is not seeking a renewal of the license. He is going to use the 'house as ordinary business premises Wonder if the epidemic willl spread to Wellington ? — That sawmill billets are expected soon to be m greater demand than ever. An inventor has just discovered a cheap and easy way to make alcohol out of sawdust. This will be distiessing news for the prohibitionists. — That the local citizen who had three 1 tickets on the hoise that paid the £48 10s dividend at Takapuna the other day, had' just previously sold his watch to raise the' money. Creditors , on hisieturn, seemed' to be aware of his luck. — That a merchant, who is given to doing business in his office on Saturday afternoons, suffered a "simp rise party" on the most recent occasion. His indignant wife furnished the surprise, and a certain young lady is laid up for repairs. — That the chief argument for the expenditure of half-a-milhon sterling on the Hutt railway, wails an Auckland paper, seems to be that it furnishes remunerative work for the unemployed from Australia. The "man and brother" sentiment is growing — That a lady of foity, who recently found a considerate Cbristttan husband by means of an advertisement in the daily papers is taking legal advice to secute the return of £250 of her money that has disappeared for parts unknow ix in the oompanv of hei husband. She d'oeWt want the considerate Christian husband back again.