It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume IV, Issue 204, 28 May 1904, Page 22

It is Town Talk

—That New Zealand's Lord Plunket is an enthusiastic Fieemason. —That one of our mostw espected citizen* lost a valuable collection of corns on Saturday. He paid Ins grocet s bill. —That the latest medical discovery is that bachelors suffer mo, c from baldness than married men. Perhans pulling the hair strengthens it ! —That the local friends of a recently - married city man swear that he wedded a blonde. So he did. But she dyed. His present wife is a biunette. —That A. S. Adams, prominent m prohibition down in Dunedin. is going to contest the Central Dunedin seat agcainst J. A. Millar at the next election. That a Wanganui man has been fined handsomely for taking the wrong hat from a barber's shop in place ot his own. He's going to adopt his own headgear in. futuie. —That many New Zealand ladies who hunt are weaimg the bifurcations, and riding astride. Men who have to lend horses mil appreciate the change vastly. So will the horses. —That the English mother of twentytwo children has been summoned toi thi earning behavioui She kept he. threat, however. Now there aie twenty-three of them. —That Wanganui burgesses care piecious little *ho rules the civic roost. One melancholy ratepayer attended a meeting at which a mayoral candidate intended to make a terrific hit. That people who believe that Wellington stieets aie the worst in the universe should see Waakworth. There is a fine, healthy mkau palm growing in the gutter of the main street. That, accoa-dang to the local thundere,r 'a! Palmeirston professional man is reported to have done even-time over the edge of the remote' lanxlscape and into the dam ambiguous beyond. That the average of two dogs hitherto slaughtered daily by the Dunedin trams has increased to three. Ihe presence of scraps of meat on the lines is evidence that somebody hates dogs. — That police sly grog informers are computed to have been paid £10 a week foi then nefanous assistance. lo be paid tins sum for drinking beer and acting despicably us a disgrace to New Zealand. That tlie insurance companies will not give cover aigariinst fixe either in Mangaweika or Taihajpe. The rats in both places are believed to have a strong partiality fai wax maitohies — and thei c is no water supply. That the reign of the suburban "jimmy-john" is closed. Again the Newt own father of a, family is able to comfortably "top-up" nuear home with less likelihood of losing his way or slumbering in a gutter. — That an hotel "chucker-out," who broke his leg while heaving a drunkaad down the steps of an Auckland hotel, received "first aid" from the person lie "chucked," who was one time one of New Zealand's most skilled doctors. — That all the officials and all the messengei sof Sydney's banks gave up then Saturday, and worked gratuitously — -from 9 a.m. till midnight — on hospital-Saturday for the leceivmg of the £4124 open-air collections by Sydney women. — That the cm ly-haired young man, who deliberately and openly kissed his fiancee at Thoi ndon Quay on Wednesday evening, at 9.30, may not know that "stealing from the person" is an indictable offence, punishable by a maximum penalty of fourteen yeais. — That the distension of an up-coun-try boy'st blouse was proved to be due to an acoumuilattLon of expired lats. They were worth, 3d a head' to him. If any of them had been suffering from plague, the wisdom of taking them to one's bosom mighit be questioned. — That cycling girls aie a wee bit trustful. It is the custom of some to leave their money-purses m the wallet hanging on their bikes. Two Lismore ladies wer© hurt the other day to find that someone had actually taken thenpurses from their resting bikes. Then faith cost them £3 — That a fruat-growei at Motueka piODOses something really swell in the \sr®y of trade organisation . He advocates that no man should be allowed to grow fruit who didn't belong to the Fruitgrowers' Assoooiaition. When it bpcom.es a crime to till the soil, it will become time to get under it.

That we aie shoitly to ha\e an influx of the gieate-,t pi o-boer oratois America can send us. Piculnbition is to be buried for evei — perhaps. That, aicecwchng to a witness in a fencing di smite heard in the Supicme Court, the said fences "wouldn't kppp wooden aummils out of a Noah's Aik That the mixed romance of the clever barmaid and the compliant cash register is a.gitatmg a ceitam hotel And all fon the son of a well-known citizen. — That Sir Julian Salomons, X.C , who ha.s been a practising banister in Melbourne fai the last forty-two yeais, started his career as a messenger boy. That a Wellington bakei manied a Mifih. Buun the other day. Wonder if the best man, in a ''floiuiy" speech, congratulated the groom upon winning the bun ? That a gie.it many people in Wellington, frightened by tales of hoi iron, have decided to walk to w ork until reliable figures of the electric tram deathi ate appear. — That the Women's Chustian Tempenatfioe Union appea.r to consider the drink question settled. They have now turned their searchlight upon errors m diet. — That New Zealanders have the pioud distinction of paying the highest price foil biead in any part of the world where normal conditions prevail. Always in the lead' — That an Ebetatfouna parent boasts of a family of five boys the combined height of whom is 32ft. Tbeii 's would be a pretty poor kind of a residence for a burglar to get stranded in. —That when the Terra Nova Antaictic relief ship left our shoies the crewgave 'Tlnee cheers for New Zealand." One tar added, in ecstacy "Best beershop in the world !"' Glorious tribute ' — That insanity and suicide, the result of influenza, are getting common in New Zealand. Last year seven people went to insane asylums whose minds had been unbalanced by the ''flu." —That a Ba.lla.rat butcher has put up a world's leioord. Won a bet of £10 by placinie chops on a gndnon within tan minutes from the time he took a shee- iln hand to s'heai, kill, and diess it. — That in Perth, Western Ausfialia, the authorities are rougher om gambling dens than our own Solomons aie. A £100 fine is a common punishment On the same basis, Wellington could iai«e about £1000 any day it liked — That the ' Moscow Gazette" is aoitatin"- for the changing of the name ot Tort Arthur to Port Nicholas "Aithui" to too English, you know. Unless the Czar hurneft up with the christening, he will soon find it baptised ' Port Togo." — That the latest rumour "on the other side" is that, after the Labountes axe expelled fiom office, Deakm will go Home as High Commission ei , and Geor^ie Poigie Reid will achieve his ambition by becoming Federal Piemiei . — That a hie occuned in a little Northern town la&t Thuisday, and burnt out without any appeal ance of the voluuteei nic bugade. It was ultimately discovered that they weie having a "wet" piactice — at the Joll> Waterman." — That Strong Man Goudon, lound heie with FitzgeiaM's Circus, as a Jew Won't be surprised next to be nitioduoed to a Hebiew gent, called Sar.ch MaeTavush, oi Micky Finnegan The Chosen People turn up in the most unlikely piLaces 1 . — That Sir Henry M. Stanley, who died laist week, staited life in a Welsh poon -house as John Rowlands, and began to fend for himself a& a cabin -boy. Since then, he found Livingstone, beat ail iecoids as an African explorer, and established the Congo Fiee State. — That the Pnivy Council has fallen many degrees in the estimation of the majority of New Zea.lamd judges since tine decision in the Newtown prohibition case. At the siame time, the juderes ought to be grateful. Look at the knowledge of law they are getting — That the vagiancy law seems to be at variance with the proud contention that Biitish law assumes a man to be innocent until he is pioved guilty. If the nohce charge you with consorting with bad characters, the onus of proof lies not on the accuser. So says the S.M. — That two membeis of the Commonwealth Labout Mimstiy graduated from the compositor's seting-stick — Pnme Minister Watson and PostmasteiGeneral Mahon. Probably, it was owing to his experience in "picking up stamps" (i c., type) that Mahon was made bo&s of the Post-office. — That things aie looking blackei than ever for the Russians in the Fai East. Last week seven Waararapa Chmkies threw up their daily toil of venidine; the succulent "keppigee," and are looking for a boat to take them back to the Yellow Sea. They want to lend a hand m booting Kourapatkm out of Manchuria. These reinforcements ought to just about settle the wai .