All Sorts of People

Free Lance, Volume IV, Issue 201, 7 May 1904, Page 3

All Sorts of People

MR. JAMES MacMahon, the well - known theatrical manager, now in Wellington, is well up in compai ative philology, although you may not have noticed it. Also, he has a sharp eai for picking up peculiarities of dialect in the course of his travels. He is au fait with the gieat Australian language, which is spoken in its utmost purity at Sydney. You can never mistake it when, for instance, you hear it prattle from the lips of a society belle in the form of "Are yeou goin' deown teowni?" Ir. is common to the mansion at Potts Point and to the stalls of Paddy's Market. Mr. MacMahon is, at the same time, keeping himself abreast of the New Zealand language, which is also springing up from the ruins of the mother tongue. He tells us that its chief trade mark just now is the duplication of particular vowels, as for instance, "Here is my ca-a-rd." Try it on the fust youngster you meet. * • • Mr. MacMahon has some good little anecdotes up his sleeve to illustrate most of his philosophy. For instance, on his last trip fiom Sydney to 'Frisco he met a Yankee merchant on board, who had been over having a look at the Commonwealth. The down-easter had made up his mind the average Australian was flippant and' had no sense of pathos. "How is that?" asked James. » • * "Wa-al," answered the Yank, ' I'll gi\ c you my proof. I was invited out one night to the home of a leading merchant. A hull crowd of people, and everything done right up to the knocker. The merchant's daughter, a rale spiy little piece of millinery, just home from a fashionable boardmg-school, sang us a ballad called 'Our Jack's Come Home to Die.' Neow, will you believe me, I was the only one of the hull consarn that kept a serious face in sympathy with so sad a subject. There was a good deal of 'Jack's coming home to die' about it, and every blessed verse of it just tickled them to death, and they all joined m the chorus as if it were the best joke out." MacMahon then broke the news gently that it was the Australian way of saying "Our Jack's Come Home To-day." Hairy A. Parker, the hero of thiee lawn tennis championshiDS, leturned by the Wairimoo last week from his invasion of the Common wealth. On Friday night an informal welcome was tendered him bv the local knights of the racquet. Notice- was short, and the company were not crowded, but they looked cosy as they sat m the dmrng100m of the brand-new BaiTett's Hotel, puffing volumes of smoke amid the liquor stacked up on the festive board. R. C. Kirk, looking more boyish than ever since he took to shaving his upper lip, filled the chair, with the guest of the evening on his right, supported by Arthur Young, and with Secretary George Goldie on his left. • • ♦ Most of the local cracks were in evidence. Laishley amd Richardson, Manning of Petone, Wilson and Green of Newtown, Fraser and Freeman, Lindsay of Brougham Hill. Amies and Jackson, veteran Banv Goring, and even Gray, from f ar-a-way Horokiwi . Chairman Kirk was liberal with the jam in presenting the toast of "Our Guest." In extending the right-hand of tennis good-fellowship, they were proud, but

not a bit sui prised, that fellow-citizen Harry had added the South Australian and TasmamanL champion singles, as well as othei trophies to the New Zealand championship which alreadyhung at his giidle. In fact, nothing he might do on the tennis court except lose a match would suipuse them any longer. Why? Because his career had been one of unprecedented success. In the couise of two whole years no one had had the honour of scoring a> winning set against him. Mr. Kirk admitted that the cup of bliss contained just one drop of bitters It was the fact that Harry, the curly-haned, hadn't met in public tourney some of the best men on the Continent, and, amongst them, Brooks-, the Australian champion. However, he had met Brooks privately, and had taken him down. Moreover, he now held six championships, three of New Zealand, two of South Austialia, and one of Tasmania. If a team went across to Sydney, at the end of this yeai , he would also most likely bring back the New South Wales championship as well. r # * * Harry Paikei put down his cigarette with an audible sigh, and stood up to reply. Awfully sorry they could not stretch a net across the room, and let him take them on separately that way instead of facing them collectively with the tongue. However, once launched, the champion soon had 1 the ball m play, and kept it going quite nimbly. His first game on Australian soil was the day after landing at Melbourne, and, having held much communion with the vasty deep, his Victorian antagonist took him down rather easily. After that he went out on the war-path after Brooks, the Australian champion, found him at his home, foity miles out of Melbourne, and beat him nine sets out of fourteen. As Brooks played on Irs own court, and is also golf champion, croquet champion, and amateur billiard chammon a® well as tennis champion, Wellington's Harry thought his achie cement was a little bit of all right. Brooks's Arner 1 can wrist sei vice is his strong point. » • * He went on to Adelaide, and had a real good time. They made him umpire in the inter-State match, Victona versus South Australia. Umpires percned on top of piles of packing-cases. Quo umpue collapsed' inside his packing-case aad had to be fished up by the heels. Match not the sedate and highly pioper sort of thing you see in New Zealand. Imagine 2000 spectators, most of them yelling as frantically as football barrackers whenever a good stroke or pairy Has made, and there you have it Also imagine the shade lempeiiture anything from 92 to 100 degrees. Last veai they had it up to 118 m the shade, and had to pump strychnine into an exhausted w miner. At the inter-State dinne7 , immediately after a Victorian repiesentative had lephed, "they shouted for me," said Harry, with a blush. Laishley woke up with a still t, and asked excitedly, 'What did they shout, old man p " "Nevei you mmd — it was good stuff'" leplied the oi ator, and held on his way. He told how he played out Harbison, the 6ft 4in Adelaide doctor, and subsequently the exciting "go" he had. along with Harbison, against two Victorians for the doubles. In the deciding game, they played right into the dusk, crowd forgetful of tea, a.nd even the Governor too excited to go away. There was talk of adjourning. Whereupon one spectator to Parker "For God's sake, old man, play right on. Feel my heart; it's going like a sledge-hammer." But, at 7 all, the Governor begged an adjournment till Monday, and on Monday everything went wrong, and Victoria won. Australian ladies superior to their Maonland sisters. They are Tegular "smashers," amd better volleying our rep. hadn't seen outride England.

They gave Harry Parker a royal time at Adelaide. In twelve days he only had one luncheon, and no dinners at his Hotel. People wonderfully kind, girls awfully nice. In Tasmania Hairy won as he liked. McGoffe, the champion,, had to climb down. Even Barry Goring would have been cock of the walk there. The only fly m the soup was that the ladies had to play by themselves, and the New Zealand champion had not the same opportunities of basking m the smiles of beauty. All the same, those ten weeks of racquettmg through the Commonwealth were tiptop. There weie other toasts, songs from Fan , Green, Ted Hill, and other fellows, speeches from Amies and George G oldie, and some funny stories, among which one by Ted Hill was capped by another from Hariy Parker. They are understood to be copyright both. # * * The "'Zulu Healei" burst upon the Empire City at the end of February last, and advertised himself by toothpulling operations and much talk at the Opera House coiner. He also opened offices in Panama-street, which he called "The Zulu Institute," and invited the public to come along for free consultations and "certain and positive cures" in a long list of complaints. Apparently, business hasn't boomed with the Zulu Healer, for he has folded his tent, like the Arab, and, as silently, stolen away. He seems to have had reason to make as little noise as possibe before he skipped, for he has left ci editors behind him who are anxiously inquiring his address. Some of them got uneasy in mind before the Institute closed its door. One of these, with a little bill, called in to receive payment, and was told to call again next morning as the boss wasn't m. Next morning the offices were looked up, and Zulu's family had flown from their private quarters in Tinakori-road. • • • Christchurch seems to have been seived in the same fashion. Thus the 'Spectator" —"The 'Zulu Healer' has disappeared from Chnstchurch, and cannot be found m the colony by many mquumg friends. On Saturday morning seveial creditors assembled at the doors of his so-called 'Institute,' in Hereford-street, but it was only to see the furniture carted off, also many bottles of medicine. He not only let in a number of tradespeople, but hit hardW his two local assistants, neither of whom was paid. A local lawyer received a letter from a Wellington firm about the gent ; so it is evident the Empire City people fell in as well as those in Christchurch. The 'Zulu Healer's' name is Paul de Bussierre, Fiench He is tall, clean-shaven, and wears an eyeglass. He is accompanied bv a man named l Frank Bludon, who acts as his private secretary, and incurs the debts on behalf of his principal. Newspapers and 1 others are hereby warned of the pair. Cash in advance is the only safe way of dealing with them." ♦ » • r| Miss Hardinge-Maltby, who has just ai rived in Wellington to take up Mrs. Adelene Izett's place as a teacher of elocution, is a charming young English actress. Perhaps, you may remember that highly-amusing Dutch girl, Linda who played so lively a part some months ago in Willouehbv and Geach's screaming play of "Mistakes Will Happen." Linda, with the peach complexion, the plaits of fair hair, the short skirts, and the band-boxes, who was always levying blackmail for damaging her conscience so far as to say she had not seen her master go out. Well, Linda was Miss Maltbv. So now you may pick her out on the Quay at the hour for afternoon tea. • • • Miss Maltbv only discovered these colonies two years ago. TJp till that time she had not strayed 1 far from her native London. If she was not

cradled on the btage, she got there soon aftei wards, for she was playing child paits at the age of nine. Father an artist, mother an actress whose specialty was the grand dame of fashionable ooniedy. Alfred Maltby, thelow comedian, who was here with Broueh and) Boucicault when they produced "Jim the Penman" many years ago, was a cousin. ♦ * * Miss Harding© Maltby tells us shehas played with Sir Chas. Wyndham, Chas. Hawtrey, E. S. Willard, Chas. Warner, Willie Edouin, Harry Paulton, and many other popular favourites. She was one of a company that J. M. Barry, the kailyard novelist, took up to his native town of Kimemuir (otherwise Thrums), to give a special performance of his "Professor's Love Story," and she took the leading part of Lucy White in it. It was given in the village schoolroom, and the village schoolmaster — a regular auld licht — after seeing it nearly through, got up, and remarked in the broadest of Scotch : — "Aye, it's juist rubbish ; that's what I ca' it. Ah dinna see why Muster Barry should tak' to writing buiks. His feyther was a. decent mon." And so he stumped out, more in sorrow than in anger. • • * One of Miss Maltby's funniest experiences on the stage happened in a London suburb. She was playing the part of the Comtesse de Can dalle, in Sydney Grundy's play, "A Marriage of Convenience." Flounces and fuibelows, powder and patches, much bowing and scraping pervaded the play. The Comtesse, of course, wore, among other things, a long train and Louis XV. shoes, with high red heels. Just as she was descending some steps entering the stage, her dresser, who was holding out the train, held on to it, nearly jerking Miss Maltby off her feet. She slipped, and the heel came off one shoe. Next step she took in full view of the audience she found herself pinned to the floor. The sharp projecting nails from the smashed heels had entered the floor covering, and held her fast. It was like crossing a quicksand to walk that stage. But, she had to d'^ it. She had to haul her right foot after her at every step, and the situation was capped when that awful _ heel hitched on to a wool mat and carried' it round. # ♦ * Miss Maltby has also an amusing recollection of her last visit to Wellington. In Willoughby and Geach's play of "Topsy Turvy," at the Opera House, she had to appear as a Grecian statue (a Cut>id) turned to life. Her costume, of dead white was, of course, classic amd statuesque, and, though short, quite proper. But, a stout matron in the front stalls thought otherwise, and, whenever the statue came on this good dame bounced right round on her seat, and turned her shocked broad back to the stage. Not only that, but every time she hauled heir portly husband round with her. It quite broke the audience up, and the actress reckoned she had found in New Zealand the lady who is reported to have clothed the legs of her table in pants. * * * Miss Maltbv has only been two years in the colonies, but has been travelling pretty well all the time. When she last came to Wellington, Mrs. Izett asked her if she wasn't rather tired of it. "Weary to death" was the reply, and that is the reason why this 1 accomplished actress has now come to stay. She left London for Australia to get cured of insomnia, and now that she gets her natural sleep she looked rounid for a place to rest in and chose Wellington. Miss Maltby intends to devote special attention to the training of pupils for the stage, and will undertake the superintendence of amateur performances. One of her specialties is the teaching of monologue sketches, which are in high fashion at Home.

The Rev. W. J. Elliott, who recently took down his moving tent at Thorndon, at the bidding of the Wesleyan Conference and transported himself and belongings to Hokitika, had a very warm welcome in the heart of the Premier s constituency. In fact, it was a real hearty West Coast welcome, and you know the West Coasters are nothing if not hearty. As for King, Dick himseli, he bore not the slightest grudge or suspicion, towards the ex-secretary ot the Ministers' Association over the nshmg excursion shivoo. Richard, indeed, went out of his way to be kind and hospitable. He wired his good wishes from Featherston before Mr. Elliott even stirred a foot from the Empire City, and, without any asking, telegraphed to his friends on the Coast to see to it that Brother Elliott got a rousing West Coast welcome. » • * Moie than that, Mr. Seddon sent, the following telegram from Wellington to Mr. Elliott at Hokitika : —"Regret exceedingly that I will not be able to be present this evening to enjoy the pleasure which I know you will feed at receiving at the hands of your parishioners in Hokitika a sincere and hearty West Coast welcome. Though the member for Westland is not present in person to assist in that welcome, he will be with you in spirit. I know and feel that your stay in Hokitika will be a pleasure to you personally and for the immediate good of your parishioners and for the town and district itself. Like your predecessor, when the time comes for departure you will regret the parting, but like those who have gone before, you will be a West Coaster for life. • * * "Whilst living among them, you will find a broad humanity, a heartiness and hospitality leavened with but little or the dark side of human nature. The people whom you labour amongst may lack that wealth and culture you meet with in the larger centres, but m true manliness and in the brighter shades of life they will more than compensate for the disadvantages under which those >n the wilds of the West may live. They are near to nature, with little or no vice, and no poverty. lam proud of my constituents, and pleased that you are to minister amongst them— 'Free Lance," Ministers' Association, and itshmg excursion notwithstanding. — R. J. Seddon." The reference to the Free Lance is a propos of the cartoon depicting Mr. Elliott landing at Hokitjka, carpet-bag in hand, and King Dick asking bluntly if it is another "fishing excursion." • • • "Sol" Green, the well-known bookmaker of Sydney, cleared £4000 at the autumn meeting just closed. His regular earnings are considerably higher than those of the Governor-General of the Commonwealth. Green, who began life as a very poor lad, is said to be worth over £300,000 ; and he is still quite young. In the ring he does not ■wait to pay out money after a race. He bets all the time ; his men pay the public when they present their cards, so that "Sol." does not waste one of the precious moments. Many a man in the colonies has found a short-cut to fortune or risen from small wages to a fat income through starting out as a professional bookie. Wellington can point to one instance in which a tram conductor blossomed into a penciller, and has cut the dash ever since. The public will bet you know, although bettins, to a mathematical certainty beats the better in the lone run every time. Fools back horses: wise men "lav the odds.' • • • The moraine Thunderer likes the last lot so well that it is importing; some more talent from Australia. At l»ast, Melbourne "Table Talk," of the 21st ult., says-— "Mr. W. Foster, one of the ablest members of the "Ace" reporting staff, left for New Zealand on Saturday, to take up the duties of news editor of the 'New Zealand Times.' He was at one time on the Albany 'Advertiser,' and later on the Perth 'Moraine Herald.'" Under his "fostering" care we shall look for developments in thr news of the "Times." » • * Clement Wragge, the weather prophet, will be here in a few days now with his popular lecture on how to read the signs of the times. According to the Dunedin "Star," this is an epitome of Clement's meteorological style - 'The craters of the moon! Oh, the beauty of it! Look at it, ladies hna gentlemen, just look at it. See the shadows; see how they are marked. Oh, the joy and the rapture ; and here we are at Dieppe — Dee^p ; D-i-e-p-p-e, Dee-ap ; see the fishwives all ma iok Voila! voila! voila— all here, fish alive oh! and then, the pretty garden m which we played as children, and note the path where our infant feet 1-ave trod 1 ! Oh, the memory of It, tie memory of it, the memory of it; and dear old Ludgate Hill King. Lud, where we went and had a half-pint of stout and paid 2d for it. Oh, dear, oh dear, just think of it, ladies and gentlemen, just think of it, and the Garden of Olives, where our Saviour trod, and Cap© Horn, and Salt Lake City! Oh, the wonder and the memory of it!

Dr. Rocksfrrow, of Palmerston North, who left the other day with two of his sons, in order to catch the North Geiman Lloyd steamer Stuttgart for Home, iv> a very old colonist who has loughed it considerably in the course of a chequered oaLeer. He is also the father of Quartermaster-sergeant Rockstrow whom bhe boys of the First New Zealand Contingent christened "Rocks" out in South Africa. However, it is the Doctor, and not "Rocks," whom we are concerned with just now. He came to light in Prussia many years ago, and, as soon as he grew up, he left the Vaterland to join an American expedition to the South Seas. He was surgeon on board, and got shipwrecked near Kerguelan land. * * * He was rescued, and carried off to Hobart, whence he made his way hot foot to the Ovens goldfields, and to Snowy River. That wa& as far back as I860." Still with the gold fever in his veins, he came with the rush to Dunedin m 1862, taking berth by the Aldmga, commanded by that lively mariner, Captain J. McLean, better known as ■'Hell-fire Jack." By the way, the Aldin^a had a long histoay, passing eventually into a collier, and piling herself up on a reef in January, 1896. ♦ * * Still hunting for the El Dorado, Dr Rockstrow left Cromwell, and crossed over toi Hokitika in 1865, and next year was sent to Westport by the late Commissioner Kennersley to take charge of the first hospital in the Nelson provincial district. He celebrated his settling down, by getting married, and his marriage was also the first in Westport. He went Home m 1868, and returned in 1869 and put down stakes at Reefton. In 1873, he came over to the North Island, at the invitation of Sir Wm. Fox, and was appointed medical officer for the Maoris in the Manawatu and Hoirowhenua districts. • * • While in Foxton, Dr. Rockstiow was coioner, registrar, member of the licensing committee ; in fact, everything official. In 1886, he left Foxton, and settled down at Palmerston North, and has been there ever since, except for a couple of years in Taranakd. As for the Maoris, they simply swear by him. Dr. Rockstrow has taken his two sons Home to start them on a course of study in electrical engineering. He will also take the opportunity to visit his brother, who holds a position in Saxo-Meiningen corresponding with our Inspector-General of Schools. He may be expected back about Christmas next.

The Hon. C. C. Kingston, the Fedelal ex-Mmister of Customs, who was lr New Zealand several months ago in search of health, is said to be a hopeless invalid. His malady is diabetes, and, as there is but slight prospect of a cure, he is not likely to emerge again in Federal politics. There is also some mental tiouble. Labour Premier Watson would have liked to secure him as a colleague the other day, but South Austiaha's Radical ex-Premieris a doomed man. Like many another colonial Premier, he undermined a robust constitution by taking too much out of it. Kingston has belonged to politics pretty well ever since he came out at the, bar. It is related of him as a funny thing that he was a full private 01 a corporal in his volunteer corps even after he became a member of Parliament or was it a Minister of the Grown — and that, with characteristic attention to duty, he regularly turned up to drill. There was no "side"' or nonsense about Charlie Kingston. « • ♦ Kereru is the name of a dusky old party, who is head chief of the Urewera tube. He is also an unmitigated joker m his untutored Maori way. Jimmy Carroll and the rest of the Governor s party are still laughing at one he got off on Ranfurly on the occasion of the biggest pow-wow of the trip. He referred to His Excellency as "the shadow of the, King," but left it m doubt whether he meant King Edward or King Dick, but there is a strong suspicionit must have been Dick. Another chief artlessly mentioned that the Governor had shown him great kindness in Wellington, and he had never ceased to love him since then. The halo of poetry which the interpreter threw over that speech barely concealed the fact that it was cupboard love. Lord Ranfurly spoke for three-quarters of an hour in reply. They say be looked very fetohr ing 'with featheis in his hat and a dogskin mat over his shoulders. • • ♦ J. W. Kelly, an independent Labour member in the last Parliament, who was shunted by Invercargill last time of asking in favour of Lawyer Hanan, isn't hankering after Parliament any more. He cropped up at the banquet given to Opposition Leader Massey, at Gore, the other night, and said he was pleased the electors hadn't sent him back to the House. He had tried to mind other people's business for nine years, and intended to mind his own for the future. Mr. Kellys business _is tailoring, and it pays far better to build up suits for the people than to take

their measure for politics. The exmember for Invercargill has changed the opinion he held of the democracy when he first entered Parliament. After nine years of it, he has arrived at the conclusion that in good times the democracy of New Zealand don't care a brass farthing who rules, but in bad times someone, has to take the blame of the bad legislation of previous years.