Entre Nous

Free Lance, Volume IV, Issue 201, 7 May 1904, Page 12

Entre Nous

MR. Thomas Bush got home by the Manuka on Saturday la&fc, from several weeks' chase of the kitty on Austiauau soil. Neither he nor Messrs. Pnnce, Davy, and Gibbon (.Patea) bi ought back any trophics — — they aie well stocked alieady — but lliev found plenty of enjoyment on the bowling green and off it. The enjoyment, however, did not get a fair start on board the Manuka. She is a splendid boat, but she has a roll that even the Wellington trams would find it hard to match. It lasted all the way from Stevens Island to Sydney Heads, and on one occasion upset the couches in the social hall and gave one lady a blackeye. There was also a suicide on. the way across. An electric car motorman from Sydney strangled himself m his cabin, and next day there was a burial at sea. • # * The bowling tournament took dace on the Waverley Club, and was run by the Waverley Club on the principle of pay as you go. There weie teams present from aix the States, and, as New South Wales had picked three hot rinks to tackle New Zealand, there was much disp~"ointment when only one Maoriland link turned up. However, that rink, m soite of long greens (some of them thirty feet longer than the New Zealand regulation 110 feet), and positive iniunctions to keep both feet on the mat beat the Balmain Club's crack four on their own ground. They also stood un to the Oueenslanders. and made a tie on, the last head, the Bananalanders winning by a point in the play off. They spent a fortnight in Sydney, were very kindly treated, and had a i cad ~oodl time. • » # Prince and Bush went on to Melbourne, and received the nigjht-hand of bowling fellowship wherever they went. Mr. Bush gives his vote for Melbourne as a city. In Sydney, the slums thrust themselves under nose and eye whereever you go. In Melbourne, you've got to search for them. Andrew Campbell, of the National Insurance, showed his characteristic hospitality to his fel-low-countrymen, and they put up a few bowls on various greens, and sampled several lemonades here and there. • • • One thing struck them that they thought Mayor Aitken and the City Fathers ought to know, and possibly imitate. Motst of the bowling greens are a part of lovely parks, and the bowling club gets a lease at a pepper-corn rent. Mr. Bush thinks there is room for a neat little bowling green on the Basin Reserve iust bevomd the pavilion, a'nl Newton n Park could make room for

another. The Maonlandeis painted the Exhibition Tournament at Wellington next year in golden colours, and Australians from various States promised to oome along and give us <x tun foi the prizes. * * * * "Chips" vveie in great force at Godber's rooms, in Cuba-street, on Monday night. The builders and contractoiis weue giving Piesident Donald McLean a rousing send-off on that trap of his to St. Louis, the Continong, and the British Isles. Chairman George Luke sawed off a very neat oration on "Our Guest," and hammered it into position with the sharp hi ass-headed nails of statistics. The effect was to convince everyone that Donald had been foremost in helping to build up the Emmre City. The chairman also mentioned that 300 marriages had taken place in Wellington since the beginning of the year. Whereupon the younger builders burst into loud cheers, and one pensive young man jn the corner called out, "What about the birthrate?" • * * Architect Chairlesvvorth next took a hand in the speech-building contiact He advised Donald to go to Yorkshire He would taste some pudding and see some buildings there. Donald didn't waste much sawdust in making his speech. He returned his thanks, promised to pick up all the wrinkles he oould, and perhaps when he got back he might show the other builders how to build sky-scrapers on the American plan. Mr. Carmichael spread himself over the "Employers Association," and Mr. Hutchens, in replying, cracked a little joke at the expense of M.H.R Field and his large field of operations. Mr. Peter Hutson, the Brick Kme, got to. work, trowel and l mortar, on the Industrial Exhibition, and made it quite clear that the present position is "We dun no were we are." There was also a good deal of smoke in some people's eyes, but without smoke you can't keep steam up. • • • A late comer, named Trevor, nearly lost his supper, but they made him pay toll with a song, and also ante-up his views on the Exhibition. W. L. Thompson, m his mildest manner, expressed peaceful sentiments towards "Kindred Trades," and the rest of the company got up to declare, in a variety of keys, and a good' many discords, that they were "Jolly Good Fellows." MessrEmery (2). Cooper, Turnbull Trevor, Howe, and Humphries also warbled oy themselves at intervals, amd J. T. Kins; did his best to keep up with them on the piano and generally succeeded. • » » It occurred in the tram-car to Newtown one afternoon last week. Two ladies of uncertain age were conversing very audibly and scenting the surlounding atmosphere witlh a subtle aioma of whisky. One was offering condolence to the other, who 1 seemed to be in a very emotional mood. The condoler was not successful, however, for the lady of sentiment raised her voice to a higher key as she remarked "No. I can't forget 'im. He was a good husband. Somehow, I can't get 'im out of me 'ead — and he's been dead a week." It was t7*ulv a sad case.

There is great fun out "beyant Newtown" over the versatile capers of a certain well-known politician during the 1 ecant mayoral contest. At Tommy Wilford's first mayoral address in the distiict, the versatile citizen was lifted right off hjs feet, and moved a hearty vote of thanks and confidence. Wihen Tom Hislopi lifted, up his warning voice, the Wilford impression was rubbed right out, and Hislop was found to be the man for Galway. And so. with the proverbial zeal of a convert, the versatile identity got up at the second Tom's meeting, and moved a hearty vote of thanks and confidence. * • ♦ It was Mayor Aitkem's turn next, and once moire there was a remarkable conversion. No sooner did His Worship sit down tha»n up sprang Mr. Versatility to move the inevitable vote of thanks and confidence. This time, however, he was hauled down by the coat-tails. But, they could not quench his ardour. Those who were willing to form a committee to assist Mr. Aitken's return were asked to step into the next room. The ratepayer with the open mind led off the piO'Cession. Out Newtown way they are wondering; now for whom did he vote after all. * • * Peter Hutson is "full up" over that Industinall Exhibition, so he says. Try as haid as he may, he can't get the City Council into a state of move. * • # The absentee landlord! Listen to this from Melbourne "Punch" . — "A large estate in New Zealand, owned by Sir Rupert Clarke, consisting of 80,000 acres, is about to be purchased by the Government. It will be cut up into farms and disposed of under the perpetual lease system. This estate was originally purchased from the Government at ten shillings an acre, and the price that will have to be paid will probably be between £4 and £5 an acre. The estate fell into the hands of Mr. W. J. T. Clarke (grandfather of Sir Rupert), under a mortgage, but when one of the mortgagors, who was absent from the colony at the time of the foreclosure, became acquainted with all the facts, he consulted Sir Robert Stout with a view of obtaining some redress. Mr. W. J. T. Clarke had died in the meantime, and Sir Robert Stout, accompanied by his client and Sir William Clarkes attorney, waited on, Sir William. After three or four days' consultation, a compromise satisfactory to all parties was arranged, Sir William acting in a very generous spirit. * * * Looks as if costly litigation is brewing oven that electric light business. The lawyers must be pleased. * * * Here's a cricket yai n< to wind-up the season. During one of the recent matches at Tuhikaramea the players took refuge from a shower in a shed. The umpire left his bat leaning against a log out in the open. When.' play was i esuined, it was found that the bat had taken root, and was sprouting willow leaves. Of course, the freak was not disturbed ; it wa« left as a standing advertisement for the prolific nature of Tuhikaramea soil and climate. If you don't believe this you are asfeed to wait on the secretary of the T.C.C. and be shown the willow tree. The member for Waikata, F. W. Lang, is, ot was, captain of this famous club.

Mr. Hamilton Hodges, the brunette baritone,, isn't easily put out. During nis rendteu-ing of a song at a concert in INapier the other night, a drunken hoodlum burst upoti a long-sustained note with a loud "boohoo." Mr. Hodges stopped, and remarked that at Hawera aj man bad been fined! a pound lor doing that, but he would give tie interrupter a chance of retiring. Is the free and easy duettist showed no signs of moving, Mr. Hodges announced that he would not, go on wrfch his song until he went. The audience applauded loudly, and, after a short delay, die author of the disturbance stumped noisily out of the theatre. "It takes just a little bit of will-power," said Mr. Hodges, and quietly resumed his song. • # « Just a pretty maiden tripping Down the mushy, slushy street, While a plutocrat was clipping Coupons in a window seat. Just a little flash of ankle, To make Cupid's arrow rankle, And the mashing Of that dashing Man of thousands was complete. Just a sympathetic jury In a stuffy, stiffling court, With a lawyer faking fury That reporters will report, And a pretty maid who hollers For a hundred thousand dollars, For the wooing And undoing Of old duffers is her sport. * • » A charming widow, endowed with wealth, and a leader of Taranaki socaety, has just shattered the hopes of a score or more of the local male aristocracy who have been dl-eaming dreams of avarice. For many months past they have been paying their addresses with demoralising obsequiousness, when suddenly it was announced that she had bestowed her hand, with her purse in it, upon a returned trooper, of no family, and with nothing but his moustache to recommend him. The trooper reckons that marrying a wealthy widow in Taranaki is a heap better than chasing the wily Boer in South Africa. * • # By the way, have you noticed that General Kourapatkin's promised triumphal march through Corea and Japan in July doesn't seem to be taking shape. Isn't he giving tihe mertry little Jap too long a start? ♦ • # There are some compensations after all for being a city councillor. For instance: One morning last week a crowd of Newtownites, anxious, depressed and wet, stood at the foot of Con-stable-street. They awaited' the arnval of the two 'busses provided' by the City Council to carry passengers to the Basin Reserve, there to connect with the tram-oars. Through dripping rain at last came the two much-desired busses at a trot. The regulation is that no one shall be allowed in until they turn round and 1 berth up. Everyone toed the mark, and' got himself ready to jump, for it was easily seen the vehicles couldn't possibly take the whole crowd. Some were bound to get left. Then, a murmur and a groan, as the smaller 'bus came into open view with a privileged City Father — not even the local M.H.R.— installed in the best seat, and calmly smoking his pipe as he gazed at the stru^Hing herd of common people. He had anticipated the rush, and boarded in time.

Mayoi Cock, ot New Plymouth, isn't a bit proud. Although Chief Magistiate ot the Garden City, he doesn't leckon that he is one ot the Upper Ten, or e\en cock of the walk. He gave the local amtociats, however, what for the other night tor their apathy ovet a proposal to entertain the Governor. His Worship asked the borough councillors to meet him at lunch, and entertain the Governor and suite. He ■would do his best, at all events even if "the up r >ei ten" would not do then duty, the "woi king men" would. The "upper ten" were never on hand when there wa« anything to do. He began to think he was a fool to act as mayoi in a community which contained such people. # # . Funnj suburb, New town It objects to being smoked out. Some people are so awfully fastidious, you Unow. They actually hanker aftei puie Quite recently the proud father of a Wellington first-born ohionicled the arrival m the usual newspaper way. and attached a foot-note to assuie an anxiouts public "It's 0.X." Subseouentiv there was a little paity to odlebi ate the happy event. One of the guests found time to ask what the host had meant bv those cryptic letters "0 K." Everybody listened for the answer. 'What, don't you know? said the host, "Why, 'One Kid. of course " They all saw it. • • ♦ The Wellington police force must have been taking then best girls out for a walk on Sunday night. lhe crowd which filled the lower end of Manners-street, and blocked all approach to the Opei a Hou^e, had things all theii own way. • « • A correspondent told "Civis," m the Ota^o "Witness," the following neat s t or y —-Look at that girl sitting m front of us," said a lady , "she is an assistant at So-and-So's, and sold me the ha i I have on. Yet, she is wearing one exactly like it, and I suppose thinks there is no difference " "Yes, madam " said the girl in front, turning round, "theie is a difference— mine is paid for." What do you think of that ? "Civis" replied "What do I think of it ? I think that the advantage lay with the girl in fiont." • • * Dr. Bakewell, of Auckland, who went away to South Africa with New Zealand's Ninth or Tenth Contingent has been giving to the press his impressions of Prophet Elijah Dowie. He says — "As I was employed by the 'Lyttelton Times 1 Company. Ltd., many years ago to make a professional inquiry and report on Mr. Dome's alleged ouies, 1 know more about him and his methods than the vast majority of your readers. Mr. Dowie is a mesmerist, or hypnotiser, of the highest class, possessed of immense muscular and nervous Dowel , and, above all. believine m himself Of course he is to some extent a charlatan . but no man could do what he does unless he had faith in his own powers. • • • Three months haid does seem rathei icragh treatment for an old Imperial pensioner who won't give up his money, and has a weakness for drink. Couldn t the authorities find room for him in an Inebriates' Home, as they have for other hard cases? • • * "His wife, aKo, is a valuable help to him, and thoroughly believes in h-m. But, a great many of his alleged 'cvi es are no cures at all, as I could have proved had he only allowed me an oppoitumty of examining the cases. Th , he steadily refused to do, and denounced me from his platfoim as a 'paid emissary of the Jesuits.' The fact was that I was only a paid emissary of the "Lyttelton Times."

There are actually some people who aie not impressed with the divmity tliat doth hedge a mayor. A case in point came under the obseivdtion of a Lambton Quay citizen m tiavellmg up the line the day after the mayoral election. A fellow traveller by the train hailed a friend at one of the wayside stations. "We have provided our mayor with a splendid chain. What are you doing foi yours?" 'Oh," replied the countiy joker, "we are going to just let our boundei ran loose." • * * A well - known citizen has decided to knock off gee-gees, and go in for golf instead. He hasn't smiled since Saturday week. On that occasion a friend asked him, on the way out to Hutt Park, "Are you still following the iaces p " "Yes," he lephed, with a sigh, "but I'm so far behind that I can't catoh up." •» * * When the gay and frisky golfers of Wellington got out to Mn amaii for the usual Sunday service the other week, a surpinsie party awaited them. Instead of the caddies rushing foiward in eager haste to proffer their services, they *at 111 a low, and made* no sign. Imitur les elicited the fact that a strike was in full swine:. They had sent in a letter making certain demands. First of all, a nse of 6d a day in the rate of pay. Nextlv, the right to sell pick-me-ups <?s second - haind balls. Finally, the re-instatement of a; pal who had been dismissed for bad hmguage. The caddies were sent oft with a bee in their ear. But, judgine by their business-like methods, the golfers fully expect to be oited before the Arbitration Court. The average mppei of Wellington is a gi own-up man at ]3 Chances quite even that the caddies may start solf-hnks of their own.

Alfred Deakin, the ex-Premier of the Commonwealth, is said in. younger years to have been bitten hard with rhe spiritualistic craze. He believed himself to be a tiaince. medium, and used to give out that the controlling influence was the spirit of John Bunyan. He is once more in a trance, but the controlling influence just now is Labour Leader Watson. * * * There was a grass widow quite proper, Who was formely married to Hopper. But he got a divorce, As a matter of couise, And the grass widow's now a grass Hoppei . * • • Melvin Vaniman, the Chicago gentleman who travelled aroundl with a photogi aphic camera like a Summer's box of samDles, and who climbed strips' mainmasts m ordei to shoot off ai city or a landscape, is veiry much in the public eye iust now m Sydney. He swore an American oath to bring the whole caty and thei beautiful haa-bour into one picttme. It has taken him nearly a year to complete the contract. But, he has got ahead of it all right. * • * He couldn't get up high enough with his camera, and so he sent home to 'Murika for a balloon. It came to hand all right, but the swaying of his air-strip beat him. So he set to work to design and build a camera that would beat the balloon . It has oome off all right. With his patent mid-air camera he went up m his balloon, 600 ft. above the Crow's Nest, North Sydney and 900 ft above seu level, and came down with his panoramic picture. It is believed he will snap off the moon next if he can get n-ithin cooey of the man thereof.