It Is town Talk

Free Lance, Volume IV, Issue 197, 9 April 1904, Page 22

It Is town Talk

—That executive ability is the faculty of earning one's biead by the sweat ot other people's brows. —That the Japanese solclieis weai paper clothes. A whole unifoim costs about tenpence half-penny. That an open confession may be good for the soul, but it is a bad thing for the lawyers for the defence. —That a man named Swindles has been convicted of theft up North. The name probably forced him into evil. — That Australia is now do.ng an export trade in asses. Other countries, might copy Australia, humanly speaking. That Dickens' heroes are constantly turning up in real life. Guppy appeared in the S.M. Court last week to answer to a by-laws case. That an angry woman, a cross-eyed husband, and a rooster that would crow furnished a great comedy on a Newtown tram on Satuidav night. —That, at Karon, there are two families, one of which comprises thirteen children, and the other twenty-three. The 'Times" doesn't mention them in its decreasing birth-rate leaders. —That the Maori doesn't altogether understand politics. Mr. Tuta Nihomho, a Gisborne chief, is canvassing Poverty Bay with a petition recommending his appointment to the Legislative Council ! That the Government Printing Office Employees aie not putting their heads together any more for the purpose of ordering fish at wholesale prices. The aroma of the last lot sticks to them still. — That the Picton picnickers on Easter Monday had a moist time of it. From 11.15 to 4.30 under shelter doesn't sound encouraging for the Sounds. It was the fish in the straits that enjoyed the picnic. — That the reason why theie are so many Amencan shows in the colonies just now is that Cousin Jonathan has only just discovered Australia and New Zealand in the theatncal sense. Also, that dollars there ain't scarce. That the farcical conclusion to the Auckland volunteer manoeuvres on Sunday night— no battle because of misunderstandings on both sides — suggests what a holy mess we might make of our manoeuvres if the foe actually did come along. — That the members of the Cuyler Hastings Dramatic Company got photographed in Maori costume while at Rotorua, the other day, and that May Chevalier, Olga Kingston, and Susie Vaughan make the most engaging wahines in the world. — That the Dunedm electric trams are doing their best to overhaul the list of fatal accidents already piled up by the Auckland cais. Another man killed last week. A great many people are of opinion that the Wellington trams will be the most deadly of all — That quite a large number of Maori chiefs overcome during the Governor's farewell tour at the prospect of losing Lord Ranfurly, have promised to call and stay with him in his ancestial halls when they visit the Old Country. They look to him to be prepared with the dried shark. — That a country journal is in trouble. It remarked that a local tradesman was the most piratical anarchist in the community. It seems th s was the comp's way of speHmg "practical architect." The editor is taking copy-book lessons in writing. Libel action looming. — That a well-known young man on the Quay celebrated his wooden wedding this Easter. And on the very next day, his brother celebrated what he calls his ' wouldn't" wedding. It was the third anniversary of the day on which he was jilted. He feels happier now. — That a certain bald citizen of Wellington produced a sensation in St. Peter's on Easter Sunday evening. When he uncovered, there was an ablebodied spider painted on his scalp. Seems his artistic daughter painted it on to keep away the flies from his afternoon nap. — That Mr. Kebbell caviLled so strongly at the idea of the Manawatu Railway Company's directors cutting up that £2500 between them, that the matter is adjourned for further consideration. The strongest 'noint was that the general manager (Mr. Hannav) and the working manager (Mr. T. Mullins) who really rum the line, should^ have a fair share of any bonus that's going.

That it Mould be woitli while_ for the prohibitionists to have a look in at P eton on a 1 olidavThat the standing joke up at the Yictoiia bowling green just now is a propos of the skip who left his "saik at Fcilding. That the reason why Leitch won the cycle load lace at Featherston on Satiu'dav is that the second man was 'Shoit." See it? —That it was not Tommy Wilford, but Max O'Rell, the well-known Fiench tiaveller and litterateur, who is reported to have said "I have no desire for a halo , I prefer my hat." — That King Dick put a knife into John Bull on Easter Monday. It was was only a roasted bull, however. He alsD put his knife into sundry croakers by announcing a surplus of £750,000. That a great many country brides and bridegrooms spent their Easter honeymoon in Wellington. A Sherlock Holmes could have picked them out easily by the rice which clung to them. — That interest in the war is now focussed on. the problem, whether Admiral Makaroff has had time yet to change his clothes. The merry little Japs seem .to be making it rough for Makaroff all right. — That the whare which attracts most attention at Karaka Bay just now is the one which bears the sweet little name m black paint of "Ngaunongaringarauakowhakapaukai." The "kai," at any rate, is all right. — That Jimmy Carroll made a great hit in his; flowery speech at the Masterton pionic, when he said that m the early days "the Maori's house and his oven were always open* to the stranger." Especially the oven, James. — That the nimble shilling was very plentiful in Wellington this Easter. All the sports and side-shows were well patronised. A £90 concert was not so dusty for Good Fr.day night, but a ciarnmed OpeTa Hove on Easter Monday was much better. — That the Wellington sport, who bought a nag at the Auckland Christmas sales and got well laughed at by the ' knowing" division, is. now laughing hard himself. The afoiesaid nag lifted the F eliding Cup of 400 soys., on Monday last, and paid a £25 div. Smart, eh? — That the festive Maoris un at Masterton actually made King Dick blush funously at the Easter Monday picnic, when they assured him, m their address of welcome, he had hatched the egg which had pioduced twins. It was their funny vay of saying that Richard has brought both pakehas and Maoris into his Liberal Federation. — That it is up to the warehousemen to meet the "travellers" with a big dium and some fizz when they get back from the Launceston Conference. The New Zealand and South Australian reps. -just saved the warehousemen from getting their walking ticket out of the Drummers' Association. But, they've got notice to leave all the same. — That theie was a large-sized speck on the bull when the Petone men won their annual match against the Opaki Rifle Club, on Saturday afternoon. It was called "W. Speck," and his score of 94 was top for his side. _ R. King equalled it on the other side. The Petones felt very "hale" at the Bellevue Gardens that night, and even "hollard" foi then guests, besides shouting for them.