It Is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume IV, Issue 195, 26 March 1904, Page 22

It Is Town Talk

That ability uevei amounts to much until it acquiies two more letteis — stability. — That it isn't aiways "money that makes the mayor go." Sometimes a lack of it may assist That a citizen, well-known in. commercial circles, is packing up to join the Prophet Elijah Dowie. —That theie's no fun in lending to your neighbours when the only way of getting your own back again is to go around and steal it. — That Lord Milner's polite way of showing the door to "that good man, Mr. Stead," is to wire him that he is not wanted in the Transvaal. — That, "Give me the baby to hold, my dear," is the name of a new song which the Birth-rate Commission on the other side may probably bring to the front. — That a "threshing machine" was in full blast m Willis-street last Saturday night Somebody had been treading on the thresher's "corns," and he wasn't a mild man. — That a local schoolboy, called out for flagellation, tearfully asked the schoomaster "May I have gas, sir?" During the previous day he had undergone a tooth-pulling. — That a bran<3 of lead pencils selling freely in Wellington is remarkable, in that both ends contain, an inch of lead while the centre lacks any. They are not made in England. — That the name of the Mikado's heir, now on his way to the front, is given by the daily papers r.s Ycshihitem. "You shy and hit 'em" is an appropriate warcry for a leader of the army. — That the De Beers diamond mines won about three and a-half millions in profits' last year. The concern would be iv ned if it spent about £100,000 per year in wh.te labour? Fudge' — That a band of Greek necromancers, fortuie tellers, and so on, are doing big business with the highly intellectual and freely educated people of Southern New Zealand. "Mostly fools." — That people are asking whether the "Times" or Sir Joseph Ward is responsible for turning the late AuditorGeneral into "Sir" James Edward FitzGerald, at the Festival Dinner at St. Pat's. — Th it Ada Crossley got £300 fiom the Melbourne Ph lharmonic Society for singinx 11 the "Messiah." Ten years ago. Ada did the same work for nine guineas and thought she had struck a gold mine. — Thit it was proved, beyond a doubt at a Southern inquest, that, although the medical men said a suicide had been shot an inch and a-half above the medial line the poor fellow had shot himself in the railway station. — That the gentleman who owns a small business, but who can afford to go Home, is being congratulated by his friends on the success of his shop. He doesn't say a word about the successful ticket in the Chinese lottery. — That during the recent sitting of the Medical Congress, although on one occasioa the pre*s was not admitted the said press noticed that some dear little rabbits were sent in to the medicos Of cjurse. they weren't for dinner. — That a Christchurch youth leceived an electric shock the ether day For putting his arm round a girl in the stieet and kissing her he was fined £2 and costs , in default, fourteen days' h^rd. He cannot afford many kisses at the price. — That the Petone Naval Artillery is the livest of live corps in these parts Seventy-four men out of seventy-eight qualified for cap tation in the past year. Also, seventy-one men qualified for efficiency badges entitling them to a payment of £1. No dummies evidently among the Pets. — That we refuse to take volunteering seriously in the colon es. In spite of King Dick, the proposed Easter manoeuvres in Wellington are knocked on the head for picnic parties. In Adelaide they put off a big battalion drill for the test cricket match. Ade^ laide "Tommies" are paid, too. — That the gaudy uniform of the Permanent Force hasn't nearly such a "killing" effect upon the fair sex since the news leaked out that the regulations will only allow a small per centage of the "dashing militaires" to marry. Perhips, the National Council of Women will want King Dick to explain why he is shooing his artillerymen away from the orange blo'soms.

— That tl ere's many a man in Wellington compelled to keep his woid, because no one will take it. — That Mr. I. Fake is the quaint name of a Manawatu builder. It doesn't follow that he does — That a ciank is tiavelhng aiound in seaich of King Dick. Wants to find out if Dick makes any allowance for triplets. — That the Wesleyan parsons are becoming moie and more restive under their "move-on" system, and don't hesitate to it. — That the Victorian Paihament is strong m members of the "Fourth Estate. ' Fully one-third aie, or have been newspaper men. — That the earthquake shocks recently felt up-country in Austiaha, happened at 11 o'clock, which is the hour of hotel-closing there away. It is significant. —That "Why, I live like a fightingcock" was the Prophet Elijah's lecent retort to a sceptical miner who mentioned that the city of Zion was about to go bung. — That excavations at the Sydney Town Hall have unearthed a pair of legirons which an, irreverent paper suggests may indicate the last lesting-place of on& of Sydney's first aldermen. — That the State Farm at Levin is growing ox-eye daisies, and is doing nothing to lemove them. The State Farm, is not a struggling "cockey." and can't be sued. Physician heal thyself! — That a, Wellington Methodist cleric, who attended the conference of his Church in Auckland, established a right to an Irish pedigree by remarking that someone or other "would carry all before him on his back." —That the "Times" remains faithful to its reputation for "bloomers." Latest cough-drop is that Federal Piemiei Deakira assures John Bull that exLieut. Witton has "expatiated" his offence. Poor Deakin !