It Is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume IV, Issue 193, 12 March 1904, Page 22

It Is Town Talk

— That, whd« the way of the transgressor may be hard, it is not lonesome. — That a pending divorce oase, with a wedding to follow — if all goes well — is the talk of the Far North. The details are spieey. — That the big man hits hard, but the little man is hard to hit, is a Japanese assertion a propos of the Maskey-Beai slopping match. — That the annual towel-washing bill at the Sydney General Post Office is £150. If post-office people are not godly, they are the next thing to it. —That the furniture for a large boarding-house m one of Wellington's suburbs is being imported. The owners made their money here. Hurrah, for local industry. — That the man who told his waiting wife that he had been sitting at" the bedside of a sick German friend the other night, had really, with others, been gathering round his "bier." — That those "in the know" reckon that the English tour of the New Zealand footballers is a "moral" for next Beason. The team will probably take its departure from the colony in July, 1905. — That an inspector of noxious weeds is advised by a country paper to drink more — water. His order to a settler to §rub up all his apple trees, believing aey were Scotch thistles, )s the reason for the advice. — That gi eat excitement exists among the fair sex in the Waikato. F. W. Lane the bachelor M.H.R. thereof has "cut the cake" at a silver wedding. They say it may tempt him to cut a little cake of his own. — That some of the Trades and Labour people are making rude remarks about the reported intention of the Government to erect a monument to the memory of that lately deceased wealthy Maori chief Tamahau Mahupuku. — That the last visit of the Geiman Emperor to Lowther Castle, England, cost Lord Lonsdale close on £50,000. Probably, that is the reason why none of Wellington's nobility have invited him to come along to New Zealand. — That Dowie threatens to come to New Zealand. He calls all smokers "dirty dogs," and says they make him sick. This settles it, tbe "Prophet" has such a winning w ay with him that New Zealand will at once put its pipe out. —That the Hutt-road, although still in the bog industry, hadn't a hope against Adelaide-road during the beginning of the week. Somebody said there w as wood-paving under nine inches of mud. We believe it, because we saw it laid. — That dead war correspondents W. J. Lambie. of the Melbourne "Age," and H. H. Spooner, of the Sydney "Evening News," are to have their names engraved on the South African memorial tablet in St. Paul's Cathedral, London. — That the dressmakers are working at high pressure to turn out the exceptionally large number of wedding trousseaux ordered for March and April , and the jewellers are rubbing their hands with joy over the brisk demand for wedding presents. — That the Wellington Ministers' Association are violently concerned about the Premier's alleged Sunday fishing. The Lance only thinks of the horses that have been working all the week, and which the average country parson rides on Sundays, and asks w r ho is the greater sinner. — That,, if the Department of Agriculture, which is going to exhibit a "fine collection of weeds and grasses," has any money, we know a citizen who will trade off the produce of a suburban garden that has been growing weeds without hindrance for six years. It is up to the Department to make an offer. — That E. W. Alison, the spruce M.H.R. for Waitemata, whose curly hair, parted down the centre, was so much admired by the Ladies' Gallery last session, has just celebrated his twelfth birthday. He says sadly it is eight years since he had his last Birthdays don't crowd each other on the 29th February. — That public-house property went up with a bang the other day when it was reported that Rev. Leonard Isitt had re=igned. When the beerites found that the Methodist Conference wouldn't let him resign, and that Leonard only wanted to throw up the Church to go in more strongly for prohibition, the boom cea°ed abruptly.

— That this year there have been twice as many marriages in Wellington as in any other town of the colony. — That the name "Gore" shocks the people of the Southern '-watering" place. A suggestion to change the name tv "Blazes" has been made. • That Kaiser Wilhelm has ordered thnty-threei changes in, the uniforms of Ins aimy within six years. William must be interested m the tailoring trade. —That the two spoiting English publicans, who came over last week from Sydney, fell into congenial company and enjoyed themselves immensely. — That prohibition Clutha asked for w ater and it got a deluge. The people m that locality aie now paddling about in three feet of it. But, one can't have too much of a good thing. — That the Hon. Mr. Taverjier, Victoria's newly-appointed Agent-General, was once upon a tune driver of one of Oobb and Co.'s coach services m the and North-west. Victoria still trusts him to handle the reins. — That one of the quaintest sights m Wellington is the ancient horse that is asked to draw about a ton and a-half of loaded cart up a steep hill every day. The curiosity is that he has the newpatent gear for pieventing bolting attached. — That the president of the Methodist Conference is a trifle rough on King Dick. He refers to "Mr. Seddon's notorious Licensing Bill, which he threatened should become an Act." And ypt Dick wanted to prohibit the bottle in the cupboard. — That Tourist Manager Donne is in for a good time at the St. Louis Exposition. Also, that various highly-paid officials in the Civil Service, who had fondly hoped they might be chosen to represent the colony, are expeiiencing a bad time just now. —That it is only reasonable that the Government should decline to subsidise Societies for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. The Society might try to prevent King Dick working all night, or stop him from injuring his health by an excers of banquets. — That a Southern man sued on a promissory note, explained to the magistrate that he did no work received 10s. a w eek from h:s w lfe, spent the money in drink, and had a gay time generally. ' Under the circumstances," said the magistrate, '"we will not make an older " Why? — -That another endurance record has just been put up in the States — how long you can play the piano continuously. The artist who gave a 50-hours' impromptu, and lost 41bs in weight, got the prize. But, it ought to have been divided among the five heroes who sat the performance out. — That Neil McLean, the seafarer, who stepped off the train between Crofton and Khandallah, the other day, for his hat, had no difficulty in getting on again. The train doesn't usually do a twenty-five knot steam. Mr. McLean's indignation at being accused of falling off was veiy reasonable. —That "Pelorus Jack," the big shiplovuio- w hite fish of the Strait, is to be protected at the instance of the Tourist Department. Why not other natural curiosities ? We commend to Mr. Donne the old tramsheds. Their historical associations and pictuiesque appeaiance would endear them to the tourist. — That the Wesleyans say their Chuich has spent £200,000 upon the Maoris. Therefore, they want to know* from King Dick whom did Bishop Neligan mean when he said the other day "But, to quote from a conversation with a Minister of the Crown, practically the Maori Mission is an Anglican mission." Look out for squalls!