IT is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume IV, Issue 192, 5 March 1904, Page 22

IT is Town Talk

That the prophet "Elijah" is making a very rough passage of it over in Australia. —That the prospect of that trip Home will make football a very willing game this next season. — That now that the tramway engineei's leport is published, the battle of the routes will start in grim earnest. —That some of the Petone jokers thought it was a bit funny on Saturday night that a horse belonging to Mr. Buck should "bolt." —That New Zealand is raising a heavy crop of budding doctois It will soon need another plague or a big war to find billets for them all. That young Wellington takes to the water at a very eaily age. A "Suckling" was in one of the winning heats'of the Star Club's Junior Pairs on Saturday. — That the rifle marksmen are pleased to hear that the Government have placed the catering at Trentham in the hands of Shout. They say they're always partial to a Shout. That Sir Jukes Steward means to fight Richard Meredith "a la outrance" (somebody's "French" is very much off) for the Waitaki seat. "The Major" has got his warpaint on already. — That the smart set in London have caught up a new social catch-word from "The Darling of the Gods." It is, "I break my bones towards you." They use it as a form of salutation. — That, in addition to the "forty religions" spoken of last week, another has sprung into existence. A religion, whose members call themselves "The Pilgiims of Peace," is gazetted. — That the "Times" seems to be in a dreadful state of fuss and fluster over the demands of the Corporation to improve the means of exit at the Opera House. Are any of the directors hit? — That Wellington will have a large "say" in the Rifle Championship this year. Judging by the variety of uniforms perambulating the streets during the last day or two, "Motley's the wear" just now. — That Tommy Wilford is having more than his fair share of ill-luck. Last year a trip Home for a throat trouble. Now, thrown out of a cab, and laid up with an injured knee. Here's to his speedy recoveiy. — That an action is pending by a local man aga:nst a local medicine vendor. After taking three bottles of the medicine his wife " was a different woman." He wants the old woman back again or damages. — That a leading scientist has just estimated that the earth will last for 100,000,000 years longer. This will give the AVelUngton City Council time to put the footpaths m decent order, and complete the tiamways. — That the Unive 1 sity Senate voices public opinion in protesting against the "poor man clause" in the National Scholarships legulatiops. No one wants his youngsters to win scholarships by pleading poverty. — That, at church time, on Sunday last the spectacle of a uniformed bandsman carrying a brass hoin, and trying to walk on both sides of the street at the same time, suggested that somebody had been called to the bar. — That the Hon. Henare Tomoana, M.L.C., who died the other day, was a sufferer from asthma, and his frequent coughing used to make his piesence felt in the Upper House. His share of "Hansard" didn't cost the country much. — That New Zealand's new Governor, Loid Plunket, being related to the Beerage, won't please the Prohibitionists. He is descended on o^e s.de of the house from Gumness's Dublin Stout. The moderate drinkers say that if he is as good as his beer he'll be all right. — That the dailv papers have a funny way of putting things. "In consequence of the closing-down of the Ngahauianga Tannery, Mr. F. Gower, foreman, was presented by his fellow-work-ers with a silver-mounted walkingstick." Suggestive of travel. Wonder if Ngahauranga is letiring fiom the scent business. — That the motor is coming into use for farm purposes. One of them, pulling an ordinary reaper and binder, cut nineteen acres of wheat in ten hours' actual cutting, at a cost, exclusive of wear and tear, of about two shillings per acre. The motor plough and the motor harvester in a few years' time will be quite the fashion

— That Martmboiough has a cemeten but only two graves. Both deceased were named John McLeod. — That the Japs aie a cruel nation. They did not send the nice, kind Russians down a trial ball before knocking their stumps down. That Mi. E. M. Smith is threatening to go Home again, "even if I have to pawn my shirt to pay expenses." Mr. Smith values that shirt. —That Britain's vote of thirty-six million pounds for the Navy indicates that John Bull doesn't want to be unpiepared in case of emergencies. — That there is a whole chapter of tarn ly history hidden away m a certain parent's delighted advertisement" that there is born to him "a daughter at last." — That the assembled wisdom of the Education Department, though it was careful to include political economy in the primary school syllabus, forgot swimming ' — That the latest repoit is that the ' seven million pounds m gold" that Mrs. Dowie got away from "Zion" was carried off by 'two men." We'd like to see the two men who can carry 125 tons. — That Dr. Charles Monce, the Premier's son-in-law, is still very much alive. But on Monday week, he had the melarcholy satisfaction of seeing sheaves of telegrams of condolence upon his death showering in upon his wife. — That there was a good deal of "mummery" at the inaugural social on Tuesday night of the Brooklyn branch of the Liberal and Labour Federation. Only, as it took the substantial form of W. Mummery, hon. sec, it was all right. — That Russia is doing a lot of squealing over Japan's alleged disregard of international etiquette. But the boot was altogether on the other foot until the guns began to play. How circumstances do alter cases, to be sure ! — That the triangular duel between "Times," 'Tost/ and Mayor over the Opera House fire-escapes is highly amusing to citizens who read between the lines, and know the run of the ropes. Now that the "Times" suggests it, of course His Worship will come down heavily on the churches. —That the greatest 'hit" at the Navy League meeting, in the Skating Rink, was made by the Band when they struck up "God Save the King" and raised the crowd to their feet to signalise the entiance of King Dick. The subsequent arrival of the Governor was quite a tame affair in comparison. — That the Willis-street fathei, who put his head out of the front window on Sunday afternoon, to discover why his son and heir was boisterously calling him. was the wildest man in the neighbourhood when the nipper explained, ''Johnny Young said I was telling lies, dad. cos I said you'd got no hair on the top of your head." — That there was much laughter at a bnthday party on the Terrace the other evening. The youngest brother — just six — with juvenile candour informed the party he was sorry Sissy was engaged at last. "Why?" "Oh, they didn't go into the front room by themselves now, and there was far more fun in watching them through the key-hole." — That Tommy Bent, the new Victorian Premier, started life as a marketgardenei. It seems quite fitting that the .Cabbage Garden State should be ran bv the cabbage gardener. Tommy was Minister of Railways at the time of the big strike last ,year, and on that occasion remarked that he might be Bent, but would take precious good care he wouldn't be broken.