Afternoon Tea Gossip

Free Lance, Volume IV, Issue 188, 6 February 1904, Page 10

Afternoon Tea Gossip

By Little Miss Muffitt.

LORD Ranfurly goes to Victoria, in order to see tow his Mildura orange crop is progressing. During his Lordship's residence in the irrigated lcd-sand desert, his workmen were about the only ones in the settlement who ever got paid. Most of the others who worked for Yankee adventurers, got paid in small orders negotiable for "tucker" on the local storekeepers. # Little '-Fleddy" Graham, round here with the "San, Toy" Company a while back, has inherited a fortune. He is going to give up the stage. He reckons to spend his wealth in Sydney or Melbourne. r- * A captured burglar, who appeared before a magistrate down South' recently, asked the magistrate to hurry up. If he had to go to gaol, he said, he would like to get there before 12 o'clock. He wanted to be in time for dinner. * * * A Society paper, reporting the usual "very pretty" wedding, says that the bride "wore a pretty dress of chocolate, trimmed with cream." Wonder if it's fashionable to wear confectionery. The bride would be a toothsome morsel. * * «• Noticeable that the clinging, skiinoy trousers of manland are going out, and that ampler bifurcations now veil the male extremities. The fashionable crease fore and aft prevails, making the average well-dressed man look unreal and shadowy m perspective. - *■ + Parsons now-a-days choose quaint titles for their advertised sermons. One narrow -way finger-post recently announced per press that be would preach on the subject "No apology for the sneak and the coward." "The latter are cordially invited to be present " ■*■*■*■ White-souled Willy Stead, of "Review of Reviews" notoriety, is starting a penny daily paper. Quaint bid for notice is that Willy has got two thousand lady canvassers going, and he says he'll never, no never, employ a man to do anything for him that a girl can do. Girls are cheaper, Willy. * * * I hear that a German firm is sending quite a lot of artificial teeth made of paper to the colonies, and that New Zealand is getting her share Said that a too-pronounced grin will elucidate the mystery of their birthplace, for the inevitable sign "Made in Germany" is indelibly stamped on the front teeth of the set. Said that Mr. Kingston came to New Zealand solely in order to study Mr. Seddon, whom he ever takes as his political pattern. I'm wondering if there is any politician left who doesn't desire to revel m some of the beams of light that flash from the world's greatest statesman. Chamberlain is foolish if he refuses to come out and get some hints * *■ *■ Some New South Wales people strongly favour a daily wash m school as part of the State curriculum for children. This is in. furtherance of the "white Australia" scheme. In many New Zealand schools, where the children, who although highly respectable, turn up barefooted, it is the custom for them to file past the school tap, and lave their tulbies at the Government expense. * * ■*■ Noticed a man in a local restaurant turn pale and faint the other day. Having learnt first aid, I followed the orowd. who carried him to an ante-room Thinking it might help, somebody sprinkled the cruet vinegar on him, but it didn't fetch back the bloom to his alabaster cheek. A male friend hap pened along. "Loosen his stays," he hoarsely whispered. His beautiful figure, was explained. * * * Commonwealth Governor - General Northcote is said to be liberal, and, anyhow, he's got wealth enough to remain unhurt even though he exercises it. Had a cattle farm, in India. Coming away, he gave the whole of his stock to near-by settlers. Marquis Linlithgow was also generous. Leaving for Home, he issued champagne to the crowd. Said crowd exchanged it with local "bungs" for four long beers, and cheered His Excellency liberally

Eggs may be one and sixpence a dozen. I can lemember the time an alleged comedian, now "resting" in Wellington, got them for a meie song. A man w ho missed the New Plymouth tram on Saturday, staited out on foot to overtake it. Came back disgusted. "If it hadn't a bin for the bloomin' cowstops, I'd ha' got her 1 ." he said. , * ■/■ Now that Chief Staff Officer Major Smith is relegated teethe retued list, it may be that Colonel Chaytor, a very able officer, who, with higher lank, has played second fiddle to the Majoi, will pop into the billet. f. * V-Governor-General Northcote's private secretary is called Bulkeley- Johnson, and no wonder. He is between six and seven feet in length, and his weight is Seddonian. The new Governor-General is about the size of Freddy Pirani. * * * Go-ahead Japan is going to do aw ay with its system of Literary scratches — or ideography, as a learned friend calls x t — and will substitute ordinary English type wherewith to print its literature. When Jappy puts his little hoof down on New Zealand to settle permanently, he will be well equipped, even to his ability to turn out a modern journal. w *■ * Generally believed that female beauty is increasing. Wonderful to me that most of the freckle professors, beauty specialists, and the great army of men and women who pander to my sisters' greed for loveliness are generally themselves exceedingly ugly. I know a maai specialist who alwaysi reminds me of a grinning gargoyle on an old Norman tower. * * * American heiresses who have bought noblemen have squandered forty million pounds altogether, and foreign countries have been enriched to that extent. It means forty million pounds worth less freedom for the rank and file of those countries, forty million pounds worth of avaricious intent on the pai t of the blue-blooded, and forty million extra nails into the coffin of democracy. * •/■ * The people of St. Helena, the island made famous by Napoleon and Cronje, both of whoir> in their time, were residents, are wailing loudly because there are no British prisoners on the island just now. During the incarceration of our South African friends the vege^ table trade and social business boomed inordinately, but now the crops are uneaten, and the festive foot is still. The good people of St. Helena aie clamouring for another war. * * - Bernard Shaw is "dead agin" ordinal y theatres since the Chicago fire. Thinks that all theatrical representations should be shown in the open air. A propos, an Australian amateur crow d of players in 1894 put on ''A Midsummei Night's Dream" in the open air. The scenery was mostly gum branches, culled from the surrounding bush. A fhe started in the "wings," and the stage forest flared furiously, while the players scooted for the permanent gum scrub. The wayback audience simply stood off, and enjoyed it. There was no panic.

Mr R Fletcher, uho is a candidate for a seat on the Harbour Board, was at one time a sailorman, but he has lived in New Zealand longer than a dogwatch He is a Scotchman, of course, and snigged out of the Clyde many a time in wind-jammers of many classes. He got tired of kicking about the world, so, after eight years of it, he decided that New Zealand was a decent haven to drop anchor in. So, here he s been berthed for twenty years. we was, for four years, an employee of the Wellington Harbour Board, afterwaids ■entering the service of Messrs J Nathan and Co., as shipping clerk, a position he held for eight years. Being a Scotchman, he has great "business acumen, and has achieved much popularly. When .he started the general carrying business, four and ahalf years ago, he had to hitch, on tight and pull hard. There wasn't very much to hitch to. But the thing grew and R. Fletcher and Co. now run a comfortable business, mainly connected with the shipping of the port. It Mr Fletcher is elected on Monday as a member of the Harbour Board no one will be surprised. In a body that lias always called attention to itself by having live members, the quality ot new blood should be up to the high standard. That's why Mr. Fletcher s chance is a rosy one. Mr George Robertson, New Zealand correspondent for "L'lndependance Beige " the well-known Brussels paper, sends us a recent copy of the paper, in which he has a very excellent article. He enthusiastically advertises our scenic beauties. "Although New Zealand is small, it offers unparralleled attractions to the tourist," is Mr. Robertsons standpoint, and, while emphasising the beauty of the land, he says a good word 'for the ease and comfort ot travel. The article is brightly written, and is bound to make a capital impression tor us on the Continong. # * * The "Huia," a New Zealand annual, just to hand, is a sixpenny production that will entirely depend on New Zealand literary contributions for its success. It is without pictures. The "Huia" is a brave effort to concentrate the literary talent of a country that, as yet, has no characteristic literature of its own