It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume IV, Issue 181, 19 December 1903, Page 22

It is Town Talk

That Mr. R. Seddon has long been employed in cattle-rearing at Tauranga. No relation to "Dick." — That a local lady is passionately in love with her motor-car. Another evidence of the triumph of machinery over man. That the great Pacific curse is getting; dearer day by day. An Invercargill S.M. fined a man £10 for "language ' last week: — That the Salvation Army would like to know the whereabouts of forty missing husbands. Colonials are a casual lot. —That several Southern youths were arrested lately for being on a beach "in a state of semi nudity." Theatre-going ladies beware ' —That one popular impression in England in regard to preference is that "Joe is going to staiveus to death, and then give us old age pensions." — That this is no country for small circuses. "Hylands" were recently charged 30s by a small town corporation to water their few horses. — That cruel fate, in the shape' of a magistrate, has cut off the old age pen^ sion from a poor old fellow whose only support is £200 a-vear and a farm. — That Loid Northland, son of the Governor, "ran" a ladies' hat stall at the opening of the Veterans' Home Bazaar, at Auckland. Wonder if he sold out ? — That Mr. Tom Wilford is sanguine. If 25,000 people go to live at the Hutt, as he prophesies, perhaps Fred Pirani and Tom may both represent that great city. — That the inexcusable bungle made by the Council in lespect to the uneaithing of the culvert in Kent Teirace is a fit companion to the Byko corner incident. — That it is untrue that the new I' - made Js.P. have had to pass an examination in the 'Magistrate's Couit Act." It would be an insult to their intelligence. — That a five-pound note is moie valuable than five sovereigns when you put it m your pocket and double it. Even when you take it out you find it m creases. — That it is inconceivable that a beneficent country like this should allow a man to starve. Yet, Felix Tanner, the fasting and barrel-boat man, w ants to do this ridiculous thing. — That, at a recent tangi at Paraparaumu (to which the natives went at reduced fares) some Maoris and pakehas became disgracefully mtox'cated Those railw ay privileges want curtailing. — That the Auckland papers can at presexit usually count on a good deal o< space being necessary foi* a report of the constant, crop of electric tramway accidents. Auckland streets are wide, too. — That, according to a Wairarana paper, immense quantities of fish caught in the ocean off Palhser Bay show signs of alcoholic poison. The cargo of the wrecked Ben Avon is set down ,as the cause. — That bookmaking is not unorofitable. Recently stated in Chnstchurch that ''bookies" had offered £25 to a jockey club to allow them to pursue their "calling" unmolested for one short afternoon. — That the Government viticulturist would like to see settlers plant thirty or forty thousand acres of vines, and grow the best wine in the world at Is a bottle 1 He dares say tins w hen prohibition is coming. ■ — That electric w ires have a strange knack of starting fires in the palaces of the treat. New Zealand Government House, and now Queen Alexandra's residence. Queen Victoria permitted only wax candles. — That it is gratifying to know that Sir Robert Stout favours increased pa/y to jurors. There was no time during last session to discuss so unimportant a thine when the vital question of barmaids' abolition loomed so large — That there is a surprising demand for patent medicines of the painkiller type in the King Country. Nobody ever calls them "sly grog," however. Chain lightning is a mild drink compared to alcoholic patent medicines. —That the Hon. C. Mills is really only second in importance to our rightful King Dick. An up-country paper says he had a special train to Waneranui the other day. The ordinary ran a few minutes later. One advantage of having State railways. But, perhaus, there may be another side to the story.

—That an mfoimation against Felix Tanner for taking his ark to sea without a license was w ithclrav\ n So vv as the ark. —That a West Coast milkman has just 'filed his schedule." What could he expect with the name of "Chalks as a handicap ? That New Zealand fish is sold in Sydney at a cheaper late than it is. sold in Wellington. There is no local fish trust, we hope. —That the whole of the tiadesmen of a far South town have decided not to give Christmas-boxes. This is possibly in consequence of the presence of an adulteration inspector. They cant afford Christmas-boxes now . — That/ according to one dairyman, who is always killing cows, to the order of inspectors, "every cow in New Zealand is diseased." There is nothing for it but a clean sweep of the whole lot — of inspectors — according to another. — That a Masterton drapery sports the placard — ■"Owing to the effect of labour legislation, our Drices for dressmaking have been materially increased." Get the opinion of the sewing girls before behevmc the Masterton draper is aii injured man. — That the Suppression of Juvenile Smoking Bill comes into operation in January. Boys, beware. If you are caught you will be fined — if you have the "money. If not, you will be let off. It is the law of the land, and has long ears and a bray. — That, up to now , no American actors w ho come to this country under contract have been prohibited from landing. It would be just retaliation for the treatment of the New Zealand bank clerk Harper to do wthout American shows in future. — That the ' Tramway Blunder" article in the ' Times," accusing: the tramway article in the "Post" of being inspired is not inspired itself. Oh dear, no 1 How angry the "Times" is that the Corporation didn't buy the Adelaide-road site. Why? — That the cellars of the houses_ in Kent Terrace are alw ays flooded during heavy rain, even with the storm-water culvert. If heavy rains come now the Corpoiation has ploughed it up, Noah's little expeiience will be trifling campal ed w ith what ma\ happen