It Is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume IV, Issue 176, 14 November 1903, Page 22

It Is Town Talk

— That tlieie is a dentist named A. J. Balfour in Greytow n He is the "premier" dentist of the place. That a doctor has discovered a new blow-fly. He has been successful in propagating it. Public benefactor, or what ? That an Aucklander has patented a device for turning the leaves of music. The occupation of the adoring young man is gone. .That the Panama craze is dead in Wellington, but has revived in. Auckland. One man sold his yacht so as to be able to be in the fashion. — That magistrates are beginning to learn the language. One told a larrikin youth the other day that he wanted a "thundering good licking." —That the Dray ton Grange, of feverish memory, is now employed solely la carrying frozen mutton to Africa. She's used to corpse carrying. —That the Hon. Lee Smith is convinced that fishing is a selfish sport, and ought to be discouraged. This must be a ' cut" at the fish monopolists. — That, as the Premier says there is to be "no slaughter" of bills this session, members might easily plan to have their Christmas holidays at Easter. — That, according to a country paper, "the fiiemen who were reported to have been hurt during the burning of the Ovalau did not bite the dust as reported." — That, if the "no-license, no-liquor" clause gets through, the Hospital at New town will have to build a wing for the accommodation of confiscated liquoi . — That somebody bored holes> in Felix Tannei's "banel" craft, and she sank as leported. Must have mistaken it for a beer ban el and wanted to insert a spigot. — That, although the Auckland people highly lespect and admne the Right Rev. Dr. Lenihan, Catholic Bishop, they are giving him a motor-car for a birthday piesent — That the aged and rheumatic Wellington gentleman, who recently married a young girl, and went to liotorua for the honeymoon, has been in hot water ever since. — That a clergyman kindly referred to the Melbourne Cup races as the "Devil's carnival." He did not win anything in the sweep this year. Two years since he drew £500. — That a Southern paper suggests that it would be a great advertisement to the colony if Mr. Seddon went to the St. Louis Exhibition, and publicly slew a New Zealand lamb every morning. — That a prominent official does not believe m keeping up the Guy Fawkes carnival. He emptied a bucket of water on the head of a, small boy who serenaded him on the "Fireworks Fifth." — That, although "fortune tellers" are being convicted and fined, nearly every paper in the country prints their advertisements. Psychometrists, magnetic healers, and others all belong to the Siame occult band. — That there is nothing m the new Licensing Bill providing for the selling bv the bottle of New Zealand wine. The Whangarei people are, therefore, highly indignant and are passing resolutions at a tremendous rate. — That the phenomenal weather lecently experienced in New Zealand is evidently bringing in its tram tropical complaints. One man is reported as having contracted moon blindness, while others are said to have malaria — That popular opinion in the pit is fast changing the feminine fashion of wearing your hat in the Opera House stalls Every lady who w hips out her hat-pins and lowers her head-gear, gets a round of cheers Every lady who doesn't finds out the difference. — That some delightful Wellington boya who desired to amuse some neighbours on "Guv Fawkes' Night," kindly left two large tins of gunpow der, with lighted fuses attached, in the washhouse Ownie to faulty knowledge of explosives, the amusing things didn't "go off." — -That the baiefaced apparition, with the chubby boyish features, winch has occupied a seat oil tlie Ministerial benches this week, is the Hon. James Carroll. Positive faot ! John Rigg is supposed to have converted him to forswear hair. Pressure is now being brought to bear on the guileless Colvin.

— 'That no bnthda,v honouis came New Zealand way tins yeai , consequently theie aie still a few plain mifeteis" left, — That tourists under the Licensing Bill aic assumed to be moie tlinst\ than other people. They have come- a long way. — That natuic does not like the idea of Evans Bay beach being fenced off from the people. Rain, wind, and tide are lifting the posts out — That, "boiled down," the. piefeiential cablegrams would make several paragiaphs of "meaty" news. Two columns daily makes people tared. — That the weather on King's Birthday was hardly "King's weather," but it was considered perfectly beautiful by those drought-smitten Kelbumites. — That, now it lias been proved that Shakespeare wrote the psalms, it might easily be advanced as a theory that Tennyson wrote, the Licensing Bill. — That Mr. Bax, of Wairoa, will attempt to swing Indian clubs for fifty hours soon. If he could only hitch that energy on to something useful ' — That New Zealand, ance< lived m, possesses a curious fascination fc-r people. Even Sir John Hall, aged eighty, is returning to see us shortly. — That divorce "m forma paupens" costs £2, or thereabouts, in New South Wales. Marriage ring and all, 10s 6d Therefore why be married or single any more ? — That the young man who was awaiting his trial on a charge of theft, and who slipped out w hile the ceremony of opening the new couit was proceeding, doesn't seem to have called at the police office since. — That Waimangu was knocked into a cooked-hat by the Wellington watermain geyser which started into business on Tuesday afternoon alongside the Government Printing Office. — That a local gentleman, of scholarly propensities, is wroth because a paper said his published remarks were "worth nothing." The paper has come to the rescue of his reputation by saying it meant "worth noting." — That Kelburne is frantic with delight over the King's Birthday gift — ■ copious rain. No longer any need to hurry down to Johnny Martin's Fountain for a morning w ash, or tote the we airy bucket of zinc to Polhill Gully leservoir for the evening tea.