It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume IV, Issue 175, 7 November 1903, Page 22

It is Town Talk

—That it cost Tasmania £20,000 to kill the smallpox visitation. Tasmania will have to "go slow" for some years in consequence. —That, a man was recently fined 40s for offering trout for sale. He could have bashed a policeman, or haltkilled his offspring for less. —That there may be objections to Chamberlain's proposed visit to NewZealand. We want no one here who might overshadow King Dick. That the dealer who gets the discarded tram horses will be a lucky man. They are probably the finest stamp ot heavy "coachers" in the colony. —That suicides are increasing, and birth-rates diminishing everywhere except among uncivilised races. We have not the courage of our ancestors. That, in consideration of Felix Tanner's "command" of "the ark," the papers are now writing him "Captain Tanner. Another militia officer 9 —That thousands of ex-irregulars are walking the streets- of Johannesburg in a "deplorable state," according to an ex-New Zealar.der now on the Rand. —That, if it is not true that the Newtown licensing appeal case is to be abandoned, people want to know why the new hotel should be placarded for sale by auction? —That the Prohibition Party still hold the opinion that it is an interference with the liberty of the subject to rvrohibit the drinking of alcoholic drinks — in private. — That apparently the whole of the ram which fell in the vicinity of Wellington last week strayed on to the Hutt-road. It changes from dust to mire in a few hours. — That the most heinous crime that can be peipetrated by the average suburbanite at present is the theft of a bucket of water. About equal tohorsesteahng in the early days. —That, in notifying the by-election of a councillor to a Wairarapa borough, the local paper says "No other candidate was abominated." The festive comp's way of spelling "nominated." —That Mr. T. E. Taylors query "What becomes of surplus revenue 9 " is one that might easily interest the bankrupt Wellington Education Board. If it only knew where to lay its hand on it! That the Basin Reserve arass might, as well be gravel as to appearance. No ciicket practice without matting should be allowed, if the area is to be used, as now almost solely by willowwielders. — -That morally depraved men are still being sent to eaol, with sentences of from a month to five years, "with hard labour." A doctor wouldn't ask a diseased patient to crack stones to re^gaan health. — -That the "bulk of imported manures s now being sterilised." Win not all imported manures 9 One sack of bonedust containing anthrax is sufficient to decimate, the herds' of a colony if not stopped at once. — That the State is particularly nroud of its nurseries, which have turned out a recoid number of trees tins \ear. Why not State "nurseries" not agricultural? Something to boast about if the annual output of infants weie greater. — That Mr. Kerwm, the electrical tramw ay contractors' engineer, is very large and very Irish. At the opening ceremony, he was believed to be a paiticularly good-tempered policeman. "Look out for the 'Kaiser!'" said the street gamins. — That New Zealanders would surely be glad to be apprised of the fact that "Count Stephen Tisza, son of a late prominent statesman, has succeeded Count Hedervary, as Premier of Hungary " Tremendous fellows those London Press Association people. — That one of the most charming sights in Wellington is to see the clean, bright, healthy, happy children of the Salvation Army Home, in charge of a smart motherly "sister," having a big tune in the Basin Reserve. Shall the "Army" shut up shop ° — T'liait, as show in 3 the wonderful pioductivences of ihe country, it may be mentioned that two years a^o Ekrnaid Maecwi swallowed a grain of wheat Last w\ 3k he w as attacked with a fit of coupling, and couched up a fifty-pound saol: of flour and 0113 hundred pounds of brail. Truth is mighty, and will prevail.

— That an idiot in a white sheet, and wearing the v.ord "Death" on his chest, is sealing t Ji e people of an up-country to\» n — T'lat the "premier" joke of the w eetlv w as> the offering by Mr. Meikle of one of his sandw ich boards to Mr. Seddcii. — That the Society for the Protection of Women and Children should occasionally extend its operations to the country districts. — That a parrot, missed from a certain hostelry, is believed to have been abducted by a social reformer, who was sokcitious about the bird's morails. — That the lordly shearer on the Caate^bury plains does not now ride the effoto gee-gee He motor-cycles with a trailer, carrying his swag behind. — That one of Wellington's "heaviest" men, who lost a £10 note last week, and gave the boy-finder 3d, was largehearted enough not to demand a receipt. — -That the sneak thief is still at lai^re. A man was recently charged with stealing his wife's rings, and with making an attempt on her gold-mount-ed false teeth. — That the "Lords" will quail now that King Dick has decided that the Upper House is unnecessary. If the salt hath lost its savour, wherewith shall it be salted? — That, within twenty years, New Zealand will suffer from droughts as severe as those in Australia. Four and a-half million feet of timber were cut by one sawmill last month — Tliut the question as to the payment o." members cf Licensing Benches is being generally discussed. Wellington Reform Licersmgj Committee woii'd scorn lucre. Try thorn. — That the latest suggestion for the punishment of male wrong-doers 1s 1 to dress them in the fearsome wear of a fashionable lady, and send them about their work. Our gaols would soon be empty. — That Guy Fawkes night is hardly uoith keeping up as a festival. It merely gives little larrikins a chance of scaring inoffensive people and of endangering property. Also, it is unBritish to stin go on rejoicing over the death of a man who thought he had a mission . — That, while the country is anxious to see that the people get wholesome meat, by employing inspectors, that most unwholesome animal, the pig, is not inspected. Most frequently he has tuberculous growth (like' a bunch of graces) on the liver. Why this remissness p